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AIBU?

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Original poster

Not to give up my seat, I am 54, for a child, about 6 yrs old, on the underground?

204 replies

losmn · 31/10/2017 19:01

Sitting on a very busy underground train. 2 ladies and 2 children get on. One child, under 2, in push chair and 'mum' holding second child, 6 ish. Mum then walks in between seats with 6 yr old and asks if someone can please give up seat for her child. Mother nor child seem distressed or unable to stand. Lady in her 60s ish gets up for child, at next stop passenger adjacent to child and lady in her 60s gets off the train so mum and child seat together. No issues whatsoever. In fact are now chatting away happily ??? Comments please.

OP posts:
BananasAreGood · 31/10/2017 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spangles1963 · 31/10/2017 19:29

No way. When I was 6 years old,I would have been told by my DPs to give up my seat to anyone who was less able to stand than me. They definitely would not have expected an adult to give up their seat for me.

Stickerrocks · 31/10/2017 19:29

I wouldn't give up my seat for a child. Most small children seem perfectly capable of happily dangling off climbing frames and leaping around on trampolines. They're perfectly capable of hanging onto a tube pole. I struggle to reach the roof handles and hate being squashed at arm pit level on a crowded train, but sometimes I just have to lump it.

wrenika · 31/10/2017 19:31

I don't think is U to not give up your seat...I'm only 28 and I wouldn't give up my seat for a kid. I would for an elderly person, but not for a kid. They've got legs.

larrygrylls · 31/10/2017 19:31

Bananas,

Are you just here to have a scrap. I suspect we would all give up our seats to someone in need. However, it is reasonable to expect to have that need explained. Why should someone give something of theirs to someone else just because they might have a disability.

It would be like an adult asking me for my chocolate bar with no reason given. Of course I would say no. On the other hand if they said they were diabetic and really needed glucose at that moment, I would not hesitate to hand over the chocolate bar.

GeorgeTheHamster · 31/10/2017 19:32

Any child too small to be able to stand and hold the handrail/ pole is small enough to sit on their mum's knee. (Exceptions as above blah blah).

StilettosAreANoNo · 31/10/2017 19:33

I’ve read about this a few times lately. Is asking everyone for their seat now a thing?

Being offered is one thing, but asking (ie demanding) ..? Hmm

PelvicFloorClenchReminder · 31/10/2017 19:34

I take it you are a paediatrician with the magical power to instantly judge invisible disabilities?

All aboard the Goady Bus, calling at Judgy Bay, Arrogance Hill and terminating at the Daily Mail HQ. DING!

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 31/10/2017 19:35

Not even if they were a disabled child, DailyMail?

Did the "just because they're a child" part not sink in?

I’ve read about this a few times lately. Is asking everyone for their seat now a thing? Being offered is one thing, but asking (ie demanding) ..

What else can you do if you have a disability or issue that isn't visible? Nobody is going to offer a young, healthy-looking person a seat. If that person would be in pain standing, all they can do is ask.

BananasAreGood · 31/10/2017 19:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Xeneth88 · 31/10/2017 19:36

If asked I'd give up my seat for anyone (unless I was pregnant at the time or having a bad bout of my invisible illness) as I think people generally ask for a reason.
If age seems to trump everything OP, why did you not give your seat up for the 60 year old lady?

BananasAreGood · 31/10/2017 19:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 31/10/2017 19:37

I am tired of hearing that adults should give up their seat for a child. Whatever happened to the idea that children give up their seat for an older person? They are quite capable of standing seeing as they are forever on bloody bouncy castles and other stuff. Respect for your elders - whatever happened to that?

Ifearthecold · 31/10/2017 19:38

The carer asked for a seat for her child, we don't know why the child wanted it but someone felt able to give it. My Mil, dm and Df are all in their 60's, they are healthy, active and work I don't think they would thank you for suggesting they were so old they should stay seated while a mother is asking for a seat for a child. If you don't want to give yours up, don't, if you are fine with doing so then do so. I don't see the point of judging people when you have no idea what is going on.

Summerisdone · 31/10/2017 19:39

I'd get up for any child under 8 to sit down, they're still quite young and on a moving bus/tram/train it can be difficult for them to keep their balance and find something within reach to hold onto. Their legs can also be tired if they've been out and about most of the day.

TribbleToilandTrouble · 31/10/2017 19:39

On the tube, I've sat ds on the floor sort of wrapped round the rail whilst I've stood behind him. That seems to work alright in a pinch, otherwise I stand behind him to make sure he's stable and doesn't fall.

Serialweightwatcher · 31/10/2017 19:40

I was always taught as a child to give up my seat for an older person, more so elderly and I probably wouldn't give up my seat for a 6 year old - the mother or friend should have had them on her knee or given up her seat for them

SingingTunelessly · 31/10/2017 19:41

Not sure what the "I'm 54" part has to do with anything not like you're 84. But I don't thing any adult should give up their seat to a 6yo child. Their legs are younger for one thing. 😄

MyBrilliantDisguise · 31/10/2017 19:41

London is so tiring. I would definitely have stood for the child - it's safer if a child's sitting down.

upperlimit · 31/10/2017 19:42

I'd give up my seat for just about anyone, if they asked. It's not that I'm a do-gooder. It's just easy for me to stand.

I don't think you have any grounds to complain that someone had the cheek to ask you to do something. You've got a tongue in your head, you can say no.

eddiemairswife · 31/10/2017 19:43

Is it because children are ferried around by car so much they haven't developed the skill to remain upright in a moving vehicle?

sayyouwill · 31/10/2017 19:43

Why are we rebasing this? It’s been done to death.
Basically you’re an arsehole if you think you’re more important than keeping a child safe.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 31/10/2017 19:45

I find it very touching and nice how kind adults are to children these days but in most cases it is unnecessary. I would far rather see a child standing than an older person, mainly because children are much less likely to hurt themselves if they do fall and if they are hurt it is not so likely to cause injuries that take a long time to heal. And I don't believe modern children are any less capable of holding onto poles than we were in the 70s ffs!
Last time I was on the tube I did give my seat to a man with a child but that was mainly so they could be together and make it a bit easier for him, and that's just parental solidarity rather than worrying about the fragility of the child as some posters seem to do.

NataliaOsipova · 31/10/2017 19:46

Respect for your elders - whatever happened to that?

I think it's been consigned to the dustbin of outdated notions, like cap doffing to your "betters" (i.e. Those richer than you). Respect for others is a much more modern, egalitarian- and, in my mind at least, better - notion.

hardworkharriet · 31/10/2017 19:46

I think ‘it depends’. If I had bagged a seat and was travelling 45 mins on a busy tube, I wouldn’t unless the mother/child was obviously distressed or ill. If I was 5 minutes from my stop I would.

I think I would be so surprised that someone asked I might spontaneously give up my seat out of shock.

I was on the tube this morning, sitting on one of the jump seats on the circle line. I stood up for a pregnant women, bus he didn’t want the seat, but a ‘proper’ one. Someone else had actually sat in my vacated seat in the meantime (though they jumped up again when I moved back).