Friends who always invite themselves to your house and never invite you to theirs

[lottieandmia22]

Does anyone else have this happen? I have 2 friends that do this.

We are all now at the age of our children all being in school. So no messy toddlers to pull everything out. I’m not one of those people who wants to sit around in people’s houses for hours either. I usually leave after about 90 minutes at the most.

So what gives?

I'm a single dad and got talking to a women round the school who was coming round mine and I was cooking meals for her and her son and only once was asked to pop round hers to have a look at her computer and she was still coming round after that untill she said what she said. She said im going aunts house today then thats saves me buying food and cooking. She dont work but save £200 a month and i work, yet i can't save that much and that really made me stop and think to myself, hold on i thought, she goes wherever people feed her. It not cos she likes being around me so i dont ask anymore but her child is asking at least once a week if they can come round but im having to say no now as i feel there is no reason not to invite me and my child round to hers. Oh well i guess im a 52 year old single dad forever but i can live with that as i honestly wouldn't put anyone before my child so guess i got out before i got in😃

I have the opposite. Friends often invite us to come see them on the other side of London but travelling to us seems to be too much effort for them.

Oh i have that to.its ok for me to travel 2 -3 hours to london for family but not once have they been to me in 27 years where i live. They all do days out and meals out and when i say i wasn't asked, i get because you work and would be to far for me to come down but funny how my sister lives 4 hours from london but she can get invite and arrange time of work. If i give a view on why i wasnt asked then i get told. Oh Michael please don't start love lol. Im just not liked lol

Wow so many people in the same situation. My DH and I have invited people out for dinner for birthdays and paid for everyone, hosted bbqs and not many invites back. One ‘friend’ in particular has only ever invited me to her place once for brunch in 10 years. But then I see on social media that she’s had people over to her house for dinner. We even helped her buy her house by inspecting the property and reading over countless building reports and never got an invite to her new home. I had to basically invite myself over. WTF is that about. Well this year no more invites. Maybe they’ll get the message.

I have one friend that does this... it used to annoy me but I've realised I think she finds it easier being in my house and more relaxed , she's quite reserved and think she feels like she'd have to entertain me in her house whereas in my house she can just chill ... I've got used to it now and don't mind

We have this with family. It started when we had children and it ws harder for us to get out and her flat was small etc. 10 years later, she has children of her own and a house and all the rest of it and we've never been invited over. It's really starting to get me down.....

I'm about to call time on a friendship of about 15 years.This friend has spent literally hundreds of hours at our kitchen table,when we first met she was new to the area and knew very few people and honestly our home was like a second home to her.Plus when she couldn't cope with her job and decided to set up an identical small business to mine DH and I gave her loads of help to get established .Recently I've started to really resent the lack of reciprocity. No invites for coffee,let alone a meal.I did call her out though when she rang and said hello stranger because I'd not been in touch for a while.I suggested collecting her to go for a coffee in the village nearby.My suspicions were confirmed that she's developing a hoarding habit,which I fully sympathise with and know there are very deep reasons for that. The truth is in the past I couldn't care less if there is somewhere to perch for a drink and a chat. Whilst I am tidy by nature plenty of other friends are less so I love relaxing in their houses.It's only in my own house I can always see a job that needs doing.What irks me most is her stinginess generally.Meeting in cafes she perfected the art of just going to grab a table and conveniently leaving me to pay.And recently DH has been working hard to establish a new business after a really tough couple of years and I asked her to pass out some business cards and I know she's made no effort.It's not depression with her she's just moved on to a new group of recent friends and she's sitting in their houses eating their food. Well she's not sitting in mine anymore.

I've noticed that people expect to come to my house.

I have a friend I've been friends with for years and I've never once been to her house, she is always at mine. I don't actually know her address.

We have the opposite issue with some of our friends - always expect us to travel to theirs. Never make the effort to come to ours

I wish my friends would invite themselves to mine! I'm sick of going to theirs all the damn time

It's swings and roundabouts. Make the most of it, when my daughter was small everyone came here because we had a huge garden with woods, a stream, ponies to pet or to ride, chickens to feed, clean out, collect eggs & tractors to ride on if they were lucky etc Children were left here all day 'because I didn't do any work as I worked from home.

Now nobody comes here because we have a fear aggressive dog.

My sister in law is so bad for this, after eleven years of lunches and dinners at our house I have never eaten at their house or been invited for a cup of tea, I’ve given up now I no longer invite them around. She does it will the children too, I’ve had her children multiple times a month over the years and the one time I asked her to have mine she replied ‘not sure what we are doing yet’ I asked her a month in advance and she obviously had no plans. I gave up it’s not friendship if it’s all one sided.

I have one like this - she’s lovely but in all the years we’ve been friends I’ve inly bern in her house once whilst she seems to prefer coming to mine - i did wonder but took a while to come to the conclusion she’s a bit embarrassed by hers. She’s always happy to have my kids round and has helped me out of a few spots with them. So don’t really mind as she’s giving in ither ways.