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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To suddenly find DH really annoying and smelly

215 replies

halloweenpumpkincametotea · 26/10/2017 20:50

Don't know what's happened. I love him. We've had a great relationship for the last 10 years. But for the last week I can barely look at him. He chews loudly, farts, is sweaty, is very very boring, always moans and looks so miserable.

What the hell is going on???? Why am i suddenly seeing all this stuff and not the gorgeous man I love? I just want to get back to how I used to feel about him up til last week! He hasn't changed - pretty sure his chewing style etc.. have always been the same, but suddenly it's jut all really annoying me and turning me off :(

Has this happened to anyone else? Will I click back to my normal self soon?

Help! (I am genuinely actually a bit stressed about this. We have dc's and I do love him)

OP posts:
DenPerry · 27/10/2017 08:40

I feel like at certain times of the month, sometimes I hate his smell, his looks, his mannerisms.. I have thoughts of "Why are we together?" but never voice anything as in a few days I'm back to normal. Bloody hormones..

TerrifyingFeistyCupcake · 27/10/2017 08:48

Did you pee on a stick yet?

I don't find DH actively repulsive in the first trimester of pregnancy but he does smell "wrong" and it's easy to be put off by him. I've always had a vague theory that in the first few months a woman's body is all "you've done your bit, now PISS OFF except maybe bring me some crackers". As opposed to at ovulation time, when he is delicious and can do no wrong.

RockinRobinTweets · 27/10/2017 08:52

I’m quite relieved that being pregnant and being less enamoured with your DH is normal because the poor bloke can’t do anything right, including eating

Soubriquet · 27/10/2017 08:53

Not placemarking nooookkk

I hated my dh when pregnant too. I was physically sick when I smelled him at times

pandarific · 27/10/2017 08:55

Oh now I need to know too! POAS op, god speed!

amusedbush · 27/10/2017 09:15

Ooh, this thread took a turn I wasn't expecting Grin

POAS!

Maria1982 · 27/10/2017 10:36

I have a rule that I'm not allowed to split up with my DP when I'm pre menstrual, as he literally can do no right and everything gives me the rage!!
I also use a period tracker app.

Maria1982 · 27/10/2017 10:37

So it makes sense that other changes in hormones (pregnancy, peri menopause) would have a similar impact.

Also he smells amazing when I'm ovulating Wink

Creambun2 · 27/10/2017 10:39

Are you and your dh both middle class op?

hiddley · 27/10/2017 10:46

Why does it matter whether they are middle class? Do they smell different?

furcoatandnoknickers · 27/10/2017 10:47

This post is making me laugh and feel rather relieved, that its not just me! My dh is driving me to distraction. He has taken on some extremely annoying habits.
He is so lovely, in fact most of my friends are in love with him (doesn't help that he's a bit famous). Caring, GSH (although thats wearing a bit thin tbh).. BUUUUT your honour..

  1. jiggling coins in his pocket.
  2. when I'm slyly watching -crap- tv, he comes in and stands by the door (awks anyway) put his arm to the top of it (like he's going to hang off it) and slightly...waggles the door..without saying anything????
  3. Wearing gilets...indoors.
  4. Jumping up at adverts and freekin' playing the guitar...
  5. VERY derisory about crap TV, even though I see it as a project, to keep up with my dds. (gulp and stare at the floor to see if lie has been recognised) "Its just not who we are darling"....(not at all snobby though)
  6. Farts..a lot AND thinks its funny
  7. No personal hygiene, when not in public...
BUT I am beginning to think, from these post...it could be me????? He might have always been like this, but I was too busy with little ones to notice.
YorkieDorkie · 27/10/2017 10:57

Sorry OP literally "pregnant" was my first thought too!

HPandBaconSandwiches · 27/10/2017 11:08

Yep, another pregnant or perimenopausal! Hope you get to the bottom of it OP

keeponworking · 27/10/2017 11:15

I'd say:
Rule out preggy, then:

  • is it that he (or to any extent both of you) have got into that comfortable lazy part of a relationship where you don't attend to not farting constantly, not keeping fit, not keeping yourself clean
  • or is it a culmination of any resentments that are making you focus on things that normally wouldn't annoy you?
LuluJakey1 · 27/10/2017 11:20

Pregnant came straight to my mind. When I was pregnant with DS I had periods of being irritated by every single aspect of DH. I moved into the spare room and seriously considered banning him from the birth. I was so irritated I was constantly angry. He had done nothing wrong - was his usual lovely self but I wanted him out of the bed, any room I was in, house, planet.

It was awful and I don't know how he managed to live with it at all but he did.

So pregnant came straight to my head.

GrapesAreMyJam · 27/10/2017 11:24

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 27/10/2017 11:33

Place marking

GirlInTheDirtyShirt · 27/10/2017 12:17

I see I've joined this thread too late - everyone else has already asked if you're pregnant. But yes, first thing that came to my mind, too. POAS!

INXS · 27/10/2017 12:24

It's hormonal OP. I go through these phases too. Had one 2 months ago. Lasted a few weeks.
Now I'm back to normal and counting my blessings I didn't actually leave him! Was seriously contemplating it.

gettingbacktoresearch · 27/10/2017 12:33

@furcoatandnoknickers I had to check I hadn't sleep posted there

  1. jiggling coins in his pocket. - yup, and tapping fingers, randomly playing music on phone
  2. when I'm slyly watching -crap- tv, he comes in and stands by the door (awks anyway) put his arm to the top of it (like he's going to hang off it) and slightly...waggles the door..without saying anything????* OMG! exactly this but when I'm watching GOT, Walking Dead or anything fictional that he doesn't watch*
  3. Wearing gilets...indoors.
  4. Jumping up at adverts and' playing the guitar...* and when I am trying to work, greatly upset if I don't recognise some random indie tune from the 90s....*
  5. VERY derisory about crap TV, even though I see it as a project, to keep up with my dds. (gulp and stare at the floor to see if lie has been recognised) "Its just not who we are darling"....(not at all snobby though)* see previous re GoT etc or Hoarders! Lol*
  6. Farts..a lot AND thinks its funny* mine has roped DD (7) into this and they hi five each other for farts and burps*
  7. No personal hygiene, when not in public... I do wonder when he showers but am told it's when I'm at work and he's on a late shift etc... although this morning he strangely used toilet wipes for a quick wash as I was in the bath (rare day off and I couldn't be bothered to stand)!
QuietNinjaTardis · 27/10/2017 12:34

My husband stank when I was pregnant with my first. Reeked. Couldn't bear to have him near me.
I'd suggest taking a test first to rule pregnancy out.

LexieLulu · 27/10/2017 12:34

How old are you OP? If that's not cheeky asking?

Have you done a pregnancy test?

Shouldileavethedogs · 27/10/2017 12:38

Following

PandorasXbox · 27/10/2017 12:47

Sounds like peri menopause. Everything annoys you. Interesting that so many posters asked if you’re pregnant.. might be worth testing.

GerrytheBerry · 27/10/2017 12:48

Another vote for you being up the duff!

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