Friend takes presents to charity shop if you don't get her what she wabts

[Happyhappyveggie]

Just that really- I have a friend who always lets you know exactly what she wants for her birthday. She told me the other day that she took a present her sister bought her to a charity shop as she hated it.
I've gone off piste this year and bought her a surprise and when I gave it her it was proper tumbleweeds and I could tell she wasn't happy.
Aibu to not bother in future? I feel quite upset- I got something really lovely and personal that i thought she'd like but I could tell that she hated it because she didn't choose it.

I wouldn't bother in future, sounds like a right ungrateful cow

Don't bother in future. My sister didn't like the gifts I gave her children so she placed them lovingly and unopened in the bin. I haven't bothered since. I still get to choose things I would have liked to get them but the women's shelter receive them now. Fuck your friend.

Some people don't cope well with surprises.

And tbh, if you knew what she wanted, why go off piste?

What do you want her to do with it, if she doesn’t like it? Least this way, someone will potentially get a bit of use out of it, rather than it being chucked in a cupboard, and only brought out when you come round.....

Some people don't cope well with surprises. Wtf??

I just saw something really beautiful that I thought she'd like. But she didn't.

But if she clearly indicates her preference and you chose to buy something else,well it’s to be expected
If she is so rigid that she won’t tolerate surprises then I’d not risk it with unexpected gift
But i can see it’s irk of you’ve chosen gift and she heefs it to a shop

I think that is rude. Where is your friends manners.
A lesson for you has been learned, don't buy her gifts in the future.

You only have to read threads on here to realise that, Iama. Surprised you're wtf.

She’s an ungrateful bugger of a friend and I’d not buy her anything ever again.

I absolutely mean that as well, I loathe people who treat their friends as your’s has done to you.

So do I. I regularly have clear outs and give loads to charity. I confess, I'm not being altruistic, but if I have something I don't want or no longer fit into, it will go to charity, it's my easiest option when that plastic bag comes through the letterbox.

Do you keep everything everyone gives to you? Why don't you give her something she wants? Especially knowing how she disposed of things she doesn't want? I get that you were being thoughtful, but if she doesn't like something, then should she keep it forever? I'd still be displaying some rusted metal cats on springs (I don't have cats!) had my db not emigrated!

Rude. Don’t bother next year.

Consumable items are often a good idea for difficult to buy for people.

I actually for the first time in ages thought the charity goat would come into its own here when I read your post OP

Is her name Rachel Green? Your friend is BU don't buy her anything next year. Ungrateful moo.

Can’t believe someone would bin unopened presents! 😮

Some people don't cope well with surprises

See how she copes with the surprise of not getting any presents, OP. No way I would waste time and money on someone like this.

I just realised when you said you went off piste you didn’t mean you picked something up on your skiing holiday. 😳🤦🏻‍♀️

Yes consumables are the thing here. Flowers or wine, nice tea or coffee. I'd prefer that too, or don't get anything.

If someone tells you what they would like, I don't see why you think you know better? My DMum did this to me last Christmas. I told her the specific plates I wanted and she bought some completely different ones. I asked for the receipt and exchanged them for the ones I wanted. I am never offended if people return a gift or re-gift it. As Konmari says, the purpose of a gift is to be received - your friend should absolutely put on a polite show of being delighted for you, but she is NBU to give unwanted gifts to charity. It is actually quite rude of you to think that she should store/display/wear/use something that she doesn't like just to please you, especially when she's already told you what she WOULD actually like. I prefer to buy things that I know people want - cos, you know, I would like them to be pleased to receive the gift I have got them...

I would be happy for a friend who always bought me things I didn't want to stop buying me anything at all - so that's a good plan. Just stop buying her the unwanted gifts. Everyone's a winner.

@madburn 😂 yea, I didn't get her a Swiss cow bell!!!

I don't think there is anything wrong with her taking a gift to charity if it doesn't add value to her life.

However, she seems to have been very tactless about it.

Clearly giving her gifts doesn't give you pleasure either so you should stop doing it.

Give her a card and if she doesn't think that is enough, then tough.

Happyhappyveggie
Maybe you should have! 😂 infact every year now buy her the shittest most random thing you can find and enjoy her reactions.

@emsyj37 I do get what you are saying but surely sometimes a present is a surprise. We can't always control what people get for us.