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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not go to this birthday party? **title edited by MNHQ**

218 replies

Wheresmejumpa · 22/10/2017 18:15

Name changed but been on MN a long time (penis beaker, naice ham, Maui etc etc).

My cousin emailed yesterday to say they are having a First birthday party for their DS on December 23rd. The venue is about an hour's drive each way. My cousin and I are not close, we tend to only see each other at big family occasions but get along well enough. Their DS actually turns one a couple of weeks earlier but apparently this was the only weekend they were free to have the party.

My heart sank when I saw the date to be honest. DH and I are both Teachers and we break up late this year so don't finish work until the 22nd, which obviously leaves two days to get organised for Christmas. DH and I are hosting both sets of parents this year plus his Grandparents so we will have a fair bit to do. I was really hoping to have a productive day on the 23rd so I can actually spend part of Christmas Eve relaxing with the DC this year.

I just spoke to my DM and mentioned that I was thinking we might not go and she made it very clear she thought I was being unreasonable. She thinks it will "look bad" if the whole family isn't there and that being busy in the run up to Christmas "isn't a good enough excuse". I told her that IMO if you organise an event two days before Christmas you probably expect that some people will decline as it's such a busy time.
DH is sat firmly on the fence and says it's up to me as it's my family.

So, MN jury, what do you think? WIBU to politely decline or is it likely to cause great offence?

OP posts:
HidingBehindTheWallpaper · 25/10/2017 08:02

Wiv is not a word.

houghtonk76 · 25/10/2017 08:10

Oh for the sake of Pete!!! Ur gonna pick me up on wiv?? Rather than solidarity WIV my actual point???

Who are you the grammar police?

Don't be a berk, I studied English literature at A Level & University & am a professionally qualified Careers Adviser who has worked in Schools, Colleges & Universities for 15 years, I know WIV is slang, love; it just so happens to be fantastically useful slang in a txting / posting scenario.

GherkinSnatch · 25/10/2017 09:03

fantastically useful slang in a txting / posting scenario

Things which are famously appreciated on MN Grin

MadMags · 25/10/2017 09:59

With has one extra letter. Just one. How is wiv fantastically useful?

I'm genuinely curious, not siding with the grammar nazi!

Hissy · 25/10/2017 10:52

fantastically useful slang in a txting / posting scenario

I don't get it. Why drop random letters in one word and then add a shit load to others darhhhling?

That's not slang.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 25/10/2017 10:59

Heratnumber7

The 24th this year is a Sunday.

And quite a few 'normal human beings' work all through the 2th and Christmas day too.

OP, I wouldn't go. Just send a nice present. Birthday kid won't remember anyway, not sure what your Mum is fussing about.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 25/10/2017 11:00

*24th

Maireadplastic · 25/10/2017 11:33

I have used the phrase 'for reasons I don't want to go into' when I can't/don't want to do something. It would take a brave person to challenge it.

TabbyMumz · 26/10/2017 17:55

The only reason people do so called teacher bashing is because teachers wind them up claiming they work harder and longer hours than everyone else. The op hasn't done this. But other people on here have. Teachers work hard, noone doubts that. But harder than anyone else? Not sure.

HidingBehindTheWallpaper · 26/10/2017 18:16

Find me one post where teachers say they work harder than anyone else.
Harder than some realise - yes.
Work longer than their paid hours - yes.
But I don’t think you will find any post where a teacher says they work harder than anyone else.

Watchingcountryfile · 26/10/2017 18:34

Exactly Hiding!

DorisDangleberry · 26/10/2017 18:41

I love this. Skip to the last page of the thread and somehow it has become a grammar nazi teacher bashing thing.

Anyway, back to the original post, best thing to do is turn up drunk and fall into the cake before vomiting into grandmas handbag. Ensures you are never invited to a 1st birthday again, and gives the rest of the family something to talk about.

Mistressiggi · 26/10/2017 23:15

But we don't use text speak on mumsnet as a general rule. Confused. I'm more shocked at the amount of identifying info in that post. May as well give your full name! (That's what they do on netmums isn't it? Just an idea..)

Mayhemmumma · 26/10/2017 23:18

I would go. 1st birthdays are important to the parents and it's nice you've been invited. Also I'd see it as an opportunity to see all my extended family over Christmas, could give out presents etc and get everyone 'seen' in one hit.

Frazzled2207 · 26/10/2017 23:46

I also wouldn’t go.
I’ve been invited to an event on the 23rd a similar distance away and I’m thinking of declining as it’s a very awkward date despite the fact that I’m a sahm and blantantly do have time to get organised.

FinallyDecidedOnUserName · 27/10/2017 07:49

Ask DM to help you with Xmas prep - if she can't fit it in she may then see your point.

Catsize · 27/10/2017 07:53

I think you should go. Your excuses don’t hold water.

Rainatnight · 27/10/2017 07:54

I wouldn't go, but when I was declining, I'd invite them over for a nice lunch/mini joint 1st birthday celebration in January.

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