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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be pissed off with DD1

264 replies

SunshineLollipopsRainbows25 · 19/10/2017 20:33

I'm trying extra hard with dd1 as she has been the only child in the family for 6y I've got a dd2 now 5m! I've been really happy and chirpy with her and making loads of effort to keep her involved and make sure she feels like I'm giving her the same amount of attention as the baby. it's half term.. I said we are going somewhere nice tomorrow(the zoo).. we've just been doing her homework together, I said if she puts her home work away and gets into bed I'll tell her where we're going.. she picked up her bag, looked at me dead in the eyes and said "but I didn't get my homework out" with a smug as fuck look on her face thinking I should put it away for her as I got it out of the bag. I felt rage build up and said "are you being serious?" a panicked look came across her face and I said "don't you DARE be rude to me" and walked away she's put herself to bed. I haven't gone back into the room I'm so angry! should I go back in or just leave her to fester and think about her rudeness?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 19/10/2017 20:35

She's six and thought she was making a funny joke. Poor little thing.

user1471449805 · 19/10/2017 20:35

You probably want to pick your battles.

AmysTiara · 19/10/2017 20:36

It doesn't seem that big a thing to be so annoyed about to be honest.

Why are you so angry?

WorraLiberty · 19/10/2017 20:36

You did the right thing by telling her off. Hopefully she put it away?

Now go back in, give her a cuddle and say goodnight.

Crumbs1 · 19/10/2017 20:36

I think you are massively overreacting. She’s six. Cheeky rather than a major crime. Humour might have worked better than rage.
I didn’t get it out....... “ No, but you are going to put it away” Smile.

lightcola · 19/10/2017 20:37

I get it. You're probably tired etc, but you need to be the bigger person here. She's dealing with a lot of change. Go in to her room, give her a cuddle and tell her about the zoo. You'll both feel better about it.

Passmethecrisps · 19/10/2017 20:37

Please don't let her go to sleep thinking you are angry with her. She is growing up and playing with tone and what sort of authority she has. She made a mistake.

Go and give her a cuddle

EatTheChocolateTeapot · 19/10/2017 20:37

You have an anger problem.

HumpHumpWhale · 19/10/2017 20:37

I think YABU. And overreacting. She wasn't even rude as far as I can see!

RainbowPastel · 19/10/2017 20:38

Why are you doing homework so late? Assuming you are in the UK. She is probably just tired. You completely overreacted.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/10/2017 20:38

I felt rage build up and said "are you being serious?" a panicked look came across her face and I said "don't you DARE be rude to me" and walked away she's put herself to bed.

That actually makes me feel really sad for her. And I have a 6 yo.

WishingOnABar · 19/10/2017 20:39

Sounds like quite an over reaction to a bit of cheek to be honest. How are you feeling though? Maybe you are feeling a bit tired and worn down balancing between the two and need a little break. Is there someone who can watch them both for a few hours / evening so you can get a break?

Hulababy · 19/10/2017 20:39

Now go back in, give her a cuddle and say goodnight.

This.
She was a little bit cheeky. You told her off. Now move on and 'make friends' again, give her a kiss and a cuddle and say goodnight. I would try to never end a day on a bad feeling.

Dozer · 19/10/2017 20:40

You were U.

repetitionrepetition · 19/10/2017 20:40

“Smug as fuck”? What an unpleasant way to talk about your child. I am shocked.

Other than that.. this sounds like a massive overreaction on your part and you should have a serious reflection on why you reacted that way.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 19/10/2017 20:40

Are you always this on edge and angry? Confused you really overreacted, poor little love, panicking because she'd upset you.

Passmethecrisps · 19/10/2017 20:40

And I meant to say that we are essentially in the same boat - 5yo dd and 4 month old dd. Generally older one has been fantastic but occasionally says things which make my eyes want to pop out of my head.

Some of my reaction is shock that my baby is now pushing boundaries and no longer seeks only to please mummy. Some of it is sheer knackeredness. Worst of both worlds.

I would also have told her off but that is enough really

FluttershysCutieMark · 19/10/2017 20:40

Sounds like you might have blown it out of proportion. Easily done with a 6 year old as it sounds like she was having a joke with you.

I agree with worra go give her a hug and tell her the plans for tomorrow.

Cokeis · 19/10/2017 20:41

Are you stressing trying to be perfect? That seems like a total over reaction otherwise.

PuntasticUsername · 19/10/2017 20:41

Yep. Overreaction. This is the bit where you get to role model "everybody is wrong sometimes and has to say sorry for something they've done" Smile

mumeeee · 19/10/2017 20:42

You are overreacting. She is only 6. She wasn't really rude to you.
You should have said calmly no you didn't but you are going to put it away.
Go back into her room and give her a cuddle

Nicknacky · 19/10/2017 20:43

Do you normally fly off the handle? Your daughters reaction is worrying, like she is used to it. Poor wee one.

Kardashianlove · 19/10/2017 20:43

She's just been a bit cheeky/trying to be funny, she's 6!
I feel a bit sad for her that she's put herself to bed and is probably feeling sad and upset. I would have gone in and said goodnight, given her a cuddle.

If she'd told me to put it away, I'd have probably said 'don't be cheeky, put it away please'. I don't think it's something I would get angry about.

Theseaweed · 19/10/2017 20:43

Gosh wait until she's 10 and she can really be cheeky.

You're completely overreacting. She isn't a fully formed person yet, she's 6. It's your job to teach her how to behave and she's not going to get it right all of the time. I'm sure you don't either.

Go and give her a kiss in bed and make it right with her.

AlecTrevelyan006 · 19/10/2017 20:43

Blimey. You really need to chill out.