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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be pissed off with DD1

264 replies

SunshineLollipopsRainbows25 · 19/10/2017 20:33

I'm trying extra hard with dd1 as she has been the only child in the family for 6y I've got a dd2 now 5m! I've been really happy and chirpy with her and making loads of effort to keep her involved and make sure she feels like I'm giving her the same amount of attention as the baby. it's half term.. I said we are going somewhere nice tomorrow(the zoo).. we've just been doing her homework together, I said if she puts her home work away and gets into bed I'll tell her where we're going.. she picked up her bag, looked at me dead in the eyes and said "but I didn't get my homework out" with a smug as fuck look on her face thinking I should put it away for her as I got it out of the bag. I felt rage build up and said "are you being serious?" a panicked look came across her face and I said "don't you DARE be rude to me" and walked away she's put herself to bed. I haven't gone back into the room I'm so angry! should I go back in or just leave her to fester and think about her rudeness?

OP posts:
Xeneth88 · 19/10/2017 21:31

What an overdramatic reaction. Poor kid.

lostfrequencies · 19/10/2017 21:32

If this post is genuine then I am absolutely disgusted by your attitude and the way you have spoken about your daughter. Shame on you.

SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 19/10/2017 21:33

Hopefully you’ve given her a cuddle now and tomorrow is a new day,

Jenna43 · 19/10/2017 21:34

I think tbh you overreacted, you could have just said, "Don't be rude, please put it away" or atleast given her a chance before shouting

OP didn't say she shouted at her. She spoke to her. People really need to stop over-reacting and seeing things that are not there.

wrapsuperstar · 19/10/2017 21:35

She’s six. I hope you’ve gone to apologise and put it right, I hope the response you’ve had here gives you some perspective. What a way to react.

SlackerMum1 · 19/10/2017 21:38

@temp

She didn’t say she shouted, she said she said ‘are you being serious’... that’s was it, No need to put words in her mouth that she (as she reports it) didn’t say or make out the child’s reaction was more than it was.

Lemonnaise · 19/10/2017 21:39

She's had her world rocked

poor kid having such a nasty cow for a mother. you need to get a grip

You are a disgrace for that

You really need to sort out your anger issues

Listen to the comments and step up as a mother seriously. I feel awful for your DC

You people are hysterical, baying for blood. Wtf is wrong with you all? The little girl got a telling off from her mother, nothing more than that.

lozengeoflove · 19/10/2017 21:39

I get it, OP. Everyone's jumping down your throat and you don't like it. Now you know how your daughter feels.

TempStamos · 19/10/2017 21:40

@Jenna43

But she didnt just speak to her, to be upset and comment on her DC cheekiness would be fine. But instead she is describing her 6 year old as 'smug as fuck' and over one innocent comment felt a 'rage build up'' the caps '' dont you DARE be rude to me'' indicate she shouted as to the fact her 6 year old daughter panicked, rushed away and put her self to bed. The OP wants to let her 6 year old 'sit and fester, thinking about her rudeness'' because she is ''too angry to even go in her room''
This is horrible parenting and i feel dreadful for her DC.

TequilaLemonSalt · 19/10/2017 21:41

Go and give her a cuddle op Sad

lurkingnotlurking · 19/10/2017 21:42

I said she's had her world rocked in reference to having a new sibling. I experienced months of extreme tantrums from my 3yo that were really upsetting. I was sympathising when I wrote that. Letting the op know that we all lose our tempers. I'm not among those baying for blood.

luckyDuvet · 19/10/2017 21:44

Ave you resolved it now OP?

TempStamos · 19/10/2017 21:45

@SlackerMum1

She said ''are you being serious?'' followed by ''Dont you DARE be rude to me'' the caps indicating shouting. as well as the fact she admitted she felt a rage build and is too angry to go back into her daughters room
I could let go of the comments on there own, as i could understand parents snap (i have). But to not want to immediately apologise out sort it out is disgusting, the OP let her 6 YEAR OLD daughter panic and put her self to bed. She now wants to leave her daughter to 'fester' and think about her rudeness because she is 'too angry'' to go back in her room.
Im sorry but how can you think this is okay!?

SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 19/10/2017 21:46

There’s an irony in people being unpleasant to the OP whilst berating her for being unpleasant to her child. Ok, so it wasn’t her finest parenting hour. Big fucking deal. She messed up. I doubt she’ll come back after some of the OTT comments either.

Jenna43 · 19/10/2017 21:47

But she didnt just speak to her

Yes she did, there's nothing in the OP to suggest she shouted. She may have raised her voice when she said "Don't you Dare", that's all.

felt a 'rage build up''

OP didn't act on her rage, she spoke with her daughter.

indicate she shouted as to the fact her 6 year old daughter panicked, rushed away and put her self to bed

Daughter decided to take herself to bed, she wasn't sent. I'm pretty sure OP is going to go in and speak with her daughter and sort it out, absolutely no need to try and make a drama out of this.

The OP wants to let her 6 year old 'sit and fester, thinking about her rudeness''

Yes, wise to do this, good parenting. The little girl is 6 not 3.

Rescuepuppydaft2 · 19/10/2017 21:48

Oh op, I think you need to speak to your HV or gp. This level of anger towards your still very little girl is very worrying.

That sort of exchange in my house, would usually be met by a 'you cheeky monkey!' followed by a tickle, a giggle and a kiss goodnight.

As others have said, it is not normal to have such a strong reaction of anger, especially to the stage that you post online hoping for others to tell you how awful your daughter behaved.

How was your relationship with your dd before your baby was born?

Lemonnaise · 19/10/2017 21:48

@lurkingnotlurking

Apologies, I missed that bit.

GreatStar · 19/10/2017 21:50

I'd love to give the OP a cuddle.
Reactions on this thread are a disgrace.

Lemonnaise · 19/10/2017 21:50

That sort of exchange in my house, would usually be met by a 'you cheeky monkey!' followed by a tickle, a giggle and a kiss goodnight

For god sake , well aren't you just marvellous.

Armadillostoes · 19/10/2017 21:51

Anyone who thinks that letting a six year old "fester" is "good parenting" ought to ashamed. The OP made a mistake and her tone in talking about her DD was horrible. She didn't get the reaction she got for snapping in frustration alone.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 19/10/2017 21:51

Why are people concerned about the 'real person crying and feeling crap' when there is a real 6yo feeling ten times worse, probably frightened and unloved and alone?

The OP deserves the strong words that have been said here, and she needs them. If we smooth this over with 'there there, you're tired, we all mess up, your daughter was rude after all' she will be able to minimise it to herself and blame her dd.

'Smug as fuck'? Ugh.

Some of us are responding so strong,ly because we have been that child on the receiving end of this kind of cold focused hostility from our mothers.

Lemonnaise · 19/10/2017 21:51

GreatStar

I agree, some posters on here are a damn disgrace.

Lemonnaise · 19/10/2017 21:55

Anyone who thinks that letting a six year old "fester" is "good parenting" ought to ashamed

Fester or think about what they'd done wrong? I don't think I've ever been as shocked at a thread as I have on this one. The over-reactions are astonishing.Shock . Are you all trying to pretend(to yourselves) that you are perfect parents who have never snapped at their children? Cheek and rudeness being rewarded with "you cheeky monkey and a tickle"? Yeah right, that's worse in my opinion.

Nicknacky · 19/10/2017 21:58

Yep I have snapped. But I doubt I've ever over reacted to such a minor even to the extent I have had rage building and caused fear to a child. Don't dismiss the child's feelings in this.

Lemonnaise · 19/10/2017 21:58

Why are people concerned about the 'real person crying and feeling crap' when there is a real 6yo feeling ten times worse, probably frightened and unloved and alone?

Right that's it, I'm out of here, I can't take any-more. Are you freaking serious? The little girl got a telling off, nothing else.