To think 37 isn't 'young'?

[Oakshollie]

Have been having counselling - was trying to talk and explain my fears.

The counsellor kept saying 'but you are so young.'

AIBU to think 37 really isn't young?

Great post perfectlydone 👍🏻 Very encouraging , I've also been battling the feelings the op describes (just not fertility wise) but you're right!

I’m 39. Please would someone tell me I’m young.

I am 40 in just under 2 months 😁 age is irrelevant it is what you do with it - maybe your counsellor if trying to help you get some perspective as getting caught up on what isn't happening or hasn't happened yet is stopping you from doing it and taking the chances that could lead to whatever is around the corner.

Are you female, OP?

You'll think differently when you're in your 70s like me

Next Your practically a spring chicken

😘 @ BlueSapp

I'd say 37 is young. I'm 38 and just had my first baby.
But if you want to have a family, it's worth considering your options. Do you want or have a partner? Would that be your first step?
If so, are there ways you can increase the liklihood of meeting someone you like?

I’m 46 and I still “feel” young. It depends on how YOU feel. If you feel old then you will be old, if you feel young then you will be young.

I will never forget the chancellor's words at my graduation. He told us 21 year olds to seize the time as his generation knew all the reasoms why things cant be done buy at our age anything is possible.

Now I get it. And most of the reasons why things cant be done apply to me too at 38. Ive wasted my life and I am old and Im so depressed.

I’m 37 and don’t feel or I hope look old... it’s young but clinging on by a thread young 😄

I had my first child at 37. That’s when I stopped feeling young.

People start new careers in their 40s and 50s, so you've got time for that, provided you don't want to go to medical school or be prime minister. So get to that when you're ready. Having kids is the one to move faster on. And you and a child can be a family. So I would either look for a sperm donor or look at really throwing yourself into dating (are there still dating agencies around for people who want to settle down asap?) for say a year to look for a bloke who's on the same page as you, then think about the donor option again. That's my 'being decisive and active' advice, for what it's worth.

I still feel young! Or rather, I don't feel old. But my eldest DC is the same age as the OP!

I remember thinking I was middle aged at 37. But I still think of myself as middle aged at 59. Looking back now, I realise that 37 was not really all that old - and I would have had time to study and train for a career at that age. At the time, I felt it was too late. It wasn't. But it is now!

I don't think the counsellers comment was very helpful. 37 is hardly old, but it's not so young that you can just shelve concerns about career and family like "no need to worry about that yet, I'm sure it will all magically work out". Rather I would say it's the perfect time to take action on those things. Maybe the counseller should be helping you decide what actions to take rather than dismissing you as if you were an 18 year old worried about not being a CEO yet.

It's strange as I consider it very close to if not actually being past it in terms of families.

News to me! I just had my son at 37 and my doctor sees no reason why I couldn't have another baby in the next few years.

I agree with pp you need to change your mindset. Counselling can sometimes help but IMO also it can sometimes be a way out of actually DOING something about your situation. As in you can say to yourself "I'm having counselling so I am tackling this issue" when really it doesn't sound like it's helping you move forward.

I am 52, so to me 37 is young.

I married a 36 and had my first child a 39. We adopted when I was 48.

"some of the girls I went to school with have children who left school this summer." It doesn't matter what other women have done, do you want to be in the position of having kids leaving school now? Or do you mean you want kids now?

Decide what it is you want and go for it. I had to join a dating agency to meet the man of my dreams. I had to have fertility treatment to have one child, and go through the adoption process for number 2. I think you just need to decide what it is you want and really go for it.

Read up on positive thinking, I am a firm believer in finding a positive through and moving with it. Expectations drive results. If you expect good things and search for them you might find they come. It is not an exact science.

You do need to change how you think and work out how to make the best of life. It really does work. It doesn't mean you will necessarily meet the partner of your dreams of have a family but it does mean (I think) you are more likely to.

This piece is very gung-ho but I do think there is something in it.

I used to dislike my job but it was right for me, fitted with other commitments, people nice etc. I changed my attitude and now I love work. It may not happen overnight but it can! Good luck.

highexistence.com/power-of-positive-thinking/

I'm 37 and feel young. I had my children before I was 30 and have been in a 15 year relationship that has ended this year. I am starting over and loving it, I feel full of life. I have never done anything by the textbook and have always been at totally different stages than many of my peers. Lots of my friends are just starting having children now while I have a 16 year old! It's definitely not too old to find love. I think what I am trying to say is there is no right way to do things, it's your life nobody else's.

She's obviously trying to comfort you, I don't think I'd find it helpful though because she's almost dismissing your fears as unimportant.

37 isn't young but it's definitely not old either, your definitely still young enough to make life long changes though which I guess is the point your counsellor is making. What the hell do I know though I'm 25 and think I'm old!

Im 37 and still feel young myself but in terms of my life feel old - friends all have children, Dads got terminal cancer and I cant have children after years of infertility treatment.. were going through the adoption process at the moment and one of the things im dreading is being the oldest Mum in the playground.

I'm 39 and definitely still feel young!
I got together with my current partner at 38 (we'd known each other when we were younger but had been out of touch 13yrs), and I'm currently 32wks pregnant with my first baby :)

It totally depends on your perspective. When I was at school I thought over 21 was ancient, recently I went to a party for a 100 year old and I could not quibble her calling people middle aged people young.

I honestly think you will tie yourself in knots with this OP. I think stop focusing on notions of old or young and focus on improving your life. I know it is hard. I am 40 and have long term health problems that have prevented me living the life I thought I would have. I have noticed though that a common thread with people who have long active lives is that they never say, oh I am too old or give up on the future. I am including there people will health problems, so it isn't totally a chicken and egg response.

So while it is hard to shift your focus from what is lost to what you can still have, it has to be done.

You are correct that 37 is not young in terms of finding a partner and starting a family, but it is not too late either. Keep hoping but also be practical about how to best realise your hopes. Hard to say more without knowing a little of your situation but I do empathise and I know all this is so much harder than it sounds. I am in a similar position myself.

Also, looking back there are many things I have missed out on because I thought (mistakenly I now realise) that I was too old. I have made that mistake over and over, and while it is easy to think 'oh yes, but I missed those chances and now I really am too old', it also seems likely that I could be making the same mistake now. So I am making an effort not to.