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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off

242 replies

Pi55ed0ff · 15/10/2017 20:30

it was a significant birthday this weekend. i've been married to dh for 15 years. we don't live near his family, but he made the effort to visit them whilst working nearby a few weeks back. they made a big deal about him bringing back a present for my birthday for me. he said it was probably jewellery by the size and shape of the gift and that they had all chipped in for it. it sat on the side looking at me for 2 weeks. i opened it and it's a bar of green and black's chocolate. aibu to be upset that they made no effort whatsoever? for previous birthdays his parents alone have given me a £20 gift card, so its weird that between 6 working adults they've managed a £1.50 bar of chocolate, right? i'm hiding my disappointment for dh's sake.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pi55ed0ff · 15/10/2017 20:53

we live in london so they wouldn't buy me a trip to london.

OP posts:
MrsWembley · 15/10/2017 20:53

Please tell us you opened it in front of your DP??!!! How did he react? Did either of you stop and have a riffle through the wrapping? Did he not get on the phone and ask if there had been some mistake? How the hell do you just open a present, find a bar of chocolate and then do nothing???!!!

Stressalot42 · 15/10/2017 20:54

Well then I’d be mightily pissed off!

HotelEuphoria · 15/10/2017 20:54

You didn't chuck a gift card away with the chocolate did you?

Original poster
Pi55ed0ff · 15/10/2017 20:54

i don't know whether his parents bought the chocolate and told him it was from everyone because they knew the others wouldn't have bought me anything (never have before).

they make very little effort with us generally, but i've always made the effort with them.

OP posts:
GU24Mum · 15/10/2017 20:54

Wrong link, sorry!

www.tiffany.co.uk/

GreggsSausageRolls · 15/10/2017 20:54

Have you spoken to them? Have they indicated it might mean something else or there's been a mix up?

MrsWembley · 15/10/2017 20:55

X-post! Please, yes, don’t hide your disappointment, tell him!!!

Original poster
Pi55ed0ff · 15/10/2017 20:56

there was nothing else. just the wrapped bar of chocolate in a small gift bag. i still have the gift bag as i reuse them. there was nothing else wrapped with the chocolate or in with the card.

i opened it with dh and the kids and then we had to get ready to go out so it was a bit of a rush.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pi55ed0ff · 15/10/2017 20:57

he'd make a million excuses for them. he certainly wouldn't ask them what it was about.

OP posts:
fuzzyfozzy · 15/10/2017 20:58

Well you know what to buy them for their next birthday, as it's such a special gift!

SexAndAllThatJunk · 15/10/2017 20:58

Shock surely there's something missing! 6 adults contributing to one bar of chocolate? Could it be in the post? Or DH secretly know that there's something bigger to come?

Petalflowers · 15/10/2017 20:58

Nice chocolate, but I,d be disappointed as well.

I know my mil gives gifts to me she doesn’t,t like. I got a jumper once, which I remember her buying for herself several months earlier when on a weekend away together. Another time she game me a scarf (I don,t wear scarves), some Avon moisturiser (I used to be an Avon rep and still buy Avon stuff myself)and a third unrelated item. The three things together were so random.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 15/10/2017 20:59

You've always made the effort with them? Stop. No more effort.
If you do anything for their birthday, make it a 29p card from Card Factory with the price tag left on.

Nomorechickens · 15/10/2017 21:00

Well you can stop making an effort with them now. Get them a bar of Dairy Milk for Christmas.Grin

Claireabella1 · 15/10/2017 21:00

Not knowing what type of people his family are, so I don't mean any offence by this but is it possible 6 people chipped in but the person designated to actually go and buy the gift just bought you a bar of chocolate and pocketed the cash the others chipped in?

Appuskidu · 15/10/2017 21:01

Your DH has nothing to say about it? I find this all extremely unlikely.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 15/10/2017 21:01

What a spiteful trick!

And your DH needs to open his eyes to his family's meanness.

Spadequeen · 15/10/2017 21:02

I wouldn't bother doing anything special for any of them in future or remind your dh That is shit.

Giraffey1 · 15/10/2017 21:03

Could your D H not grow some balls and talk to his parents about this? It probably won’t achieve change but at least it’s saying look, this isn’t a nice way to treat people.

chocatoo · 15/10/2017 21:03

I'm pretty sure something must have fallen out of the bag..v tricky because they will be expecting a big thank you. I think that you are probably going to have to bite the bullet and explain that the choc was gorgeous but that DH had mentioned that other people had chipped in and that you are worried that the part of the gift that others had chipped in for was missing. If they really have been so mean as to only give you a bar of chocolate I wouldn't be making a big fuss of their birthdays in future!

hidinginthenightgarden · 15/10/2017 21:04

I think its likely that just his parents bought the chocolate and then said it was from everyone as a passing comment. Still cheap though. I got over £100 from DH family in cash as they don't know what to buy but are generous so gift cash.

PossibiliTea · 15/10/2017 21:04

Chocolate?! In a gift bag?! It's almost like they are actually taking the piss.

They all chipped in?? What the...

PerspicaciaTick · 15/10/2017 21:05

How on earth could your DH look at something the size, shape and weight of a wrapped chocolate bar and come to the conclusion that it is...jewellry?

I'm not sure who is worse, your DH's family for spoiling you by splashing out less than 50p each, or your DH for defending them.

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