to be pissed off

[Pi55ed0ff]

it was a significant birthday this weekend. i've been married to dh for 15 years. we don't live near his family, but he made the effort to visit them whilst working nearby a few weeks back. they made a big deal about him bringing back a present for my birthday for me. he said it was probably jewellery by the size and shape of the gift and that they had all chipped in for it. it sat on the side looking at me for 2 weeks. i opened it and it's a bar of green and black's chocolate. aibu to be upset that they made no effort whatsoever? for previous birthdays his parents alone have given me a £20 gift card, so its weird that between 6 working adults they've managed a £1.50 bar of chocolate, right? i'm hiding my disappointment for dh's sake.

[MrsKoala]

My exMil (different one to upthread) once wrapped a packet of pocket tissues to give to someone at xmas (not me - i got a plastic delph boot with fake daffs in). It was really embarrassing. The person looked a bit confused and mil said frostily 'well, they're always handy to have and it's the thought that counts!' Umm. So zero thought then.

I think they just sound like those types of people. I certainly wouldn't say thanks and i'd not bother with any gifts again for them. If they asked whether i liked my present i'd say 'what? the bar of chocolate!?'

[scootinFun]

I second InspMorse's suggestion
'Dear MIL, FIL, SIL, BIL (and every other family member's name individually),
Thank you everyone for my bar of chocolate, it was very kind of you to think of me on my 30th/40th (whatever) birthday..
DH and DC ate It between them but told me it was delicious!
Hope to see you soon,
With kind regards,
OP'

Also, what present did he give you - are you sure he didn't regift their gift? Though sending the thank you note would clear that up quickly!

[SilverySurfer]

Thinking about this some more, I think you would have probably felt entirely differently if they had spent their £1.50 on a quirky, unusual, thoughtful gift (not sure if there is such thing mind you). It's knowing that zero thought was given to your gift, one of them simply tossed a bar of chocolate into their trolley whilst at the supermarket, barely giving it a second thought.

It's bloody insulting and your 'D'H should be ashamed of his family, not defending the indefensible.

[TheMerryWidow1]

I hope you told your parents so they can treat your husband the same and see how he feels.

[HipToBeSquare]

That has just shocked me OP! They actually shouldn't have bothered. That 'present' is worse than getting just a card.

I'd be so angry as well if my parents had bought my dh a decent present and he excused the shitty present from his parents!

[FindingNemoandDory]

For once I hope the media pick up this thread!

[thewreckofthehesperus]

If the chocolate was such a special gift why was it ok for it to be cracked into by him and the kids. He likes whiskey and you like chocolate. Your parents went and bought a very nice expensive bottle to commemorate a big birthday. Would it have been so special if they'd bought a naggin of shite from Tesco? Because after all they would have remembered he likes whiskey and it's the thought that counts right? He's a dick and making you feel unreasonable about a normal reaction to this is really bad form bordering on gaslighting

[HelenaDove]

You also usually find that these types of men are also the type who expect you to drop everything and care for their parents in old age.

If this raises its head later on..............dont be used OP.

[MargeryFenworthy]

You sound lovely. They simply don't deserve to have you in their lives. Horrid behaviour.

[QueenNefertitty]

This has totally bewildered me... what a strange strange family.

OP... you sound lovely, sane, and far too good for that hurtful bunch of wankers. And I hope you know that.

Belated happy birthday, by the way. I hope you have a wonderful, prosperous and in-law free year

[Willswife]

Just an FYI, the Mirror have picked up this thread and it's on their website.

[PlateOfBiscuits]

Lazy journalism at it’s finest.

[PlateOfBiscuits]

I think it’s not worth giving the page the clicks by visiting so I’ll take your word for it Willswife.

[PossibiliTea]

Is there a thread somewhere about lazy journalists??

[Ceto]

It could be quite good news it his is picked up by the papers, because with any luck it'll get back to OP's in laws who might just get an insight into how weird and stingy their behaviour is.

[FindingNemoandDory]

It's inspired a feature on Capital radio this morning! Worst presents ever after a woman got a bar of Green and Black chocolate!

[scootinFun]

I wonder if the in laws will twig what a terrible present it is now!

[Oliversmumsarmy]

If it is any help op. I get a bar of Green and Blacks every birthday and every Christmas from dp.

I hate dark chocolate.

[Bonez]

Dunno how your husband thinks your bar of chocolate is equal to him vintage whiskey. He said himself he thought it might be jewellery so even he was expecting something better than a chocolate bar! If they were so stuck for ideas a box of ferrero rocher would've probably been better received (at least for me) - or at the very least a £10 gift voucher for your local shopping mall! How about you tell your parents to genuinely get him a bar of chocolate for his next birthday and see what he says to that.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

Bonez I think a miniature bottle of gin or vodka would be better.

It is alcohol and not to forget it is the thought that counts

[Bonez]

@Oliversmumsarmy totally agree

[buckeejit]

Rubbish. My in laws sometimes forget my birthday but they are incredibly supportive & it was my 40th this year & they bought special gifts.

My parents don't spend much on gifts but they are so supportive & spend lots of time with dc. I don't want them to spend money unnecessarily on unneeded stuff but they'll always look in charity shops for things that dc might like & have them in their thoughts.

I'd not make much effort if it's not reciprocated and send an extravagant note to all them (2nd class) thanks for the bar of chocolate & you all had a square each!

[gamerchick]

If it is any help op. I get a bar of Green and Blacks every birthday and every Christmas from dp

I hate dark chocolate

Have you told him this?

[wowfudge]

However pissed off you are, keep the moral high ground and write and thank them graciously. I believe in karma.

[Redhead17]

I'd drink his whiskey and then probably send shitty texts to his family.

It's horrid for you but any money you plan to spend on them for xmas sieve on your self and get your husband something worth £1.50 for xmas seeing as it's ok