to be pissed off

[Pi55ed0ff]

it was a significant birthday this weekend. i've been married to dh for 15 years. we don't live near his family, but he made the effort to visit them whilst working nearby a few weeks back. they made a big deal about him bringing back a present for my birthday for me. he said it was probably jewellery by the size and shape of the gift and that they had all chipped in for it. it sat on the side looking at me for 2 weeks. i opened it and it's a bar of green and black's chocolate. aibu to be upset that they made no effort whatsoever? for previous birthdays his parents alone have given me a £20 gift card, so its weird that between 6 working adults they've managed a £1.50 bar of chocolate, right? i'm hiding my disappointment for dh's sake.

[KOKOagainandagain]

Sorry this has shone a light on your relationship with your husband. DH and I have always bonded over the crap presents from his family. One year - about 20 years ago - after years of unbelievable crap wrapped like it was something special, his sister and her husband gave us a carton advertising the contents of 12 bottles of Irish malt whiskey. We were shocked - until we opened it and found 4 cans of Stella and two 120 VHS blank tapes. They had just reused the box. We still laugh about it.

[HouseworkIsASin10]

@Pi55ed0ff How are things going? Sorry if I missed this but what was the present to himself?

[Pi55ed0ff]

it came up in the argument with dh. when he was up there he took his mum shopping. later on that day she went to wrap my present and gave it to him saying "this is from all of us". he tried to dismiss it as her being used to signing cards from them and all of the boys when they were growing up. theyre all in their late 30s and early 40s!

I said it sent a very clear message about how much they think of me and i shan't be making any effort with them from now on. dh thinks that's unfair and the fact they haven't been to see us for over 4 years is just because they're busy. well they can all fuck off. dh and I are barely speaking.

[DiscotequeJuliet]

Oh wow

The disappointing chocolate actually has turned out to be a special gift of sorts - it's imbued you with the ability to see what an arse your husband is.

[Appuskidu]

So, did you get to the bottom of why 6 of your close in laws clubbed together to buy you a small bar of chocolate for a significant birthday?

[Pi55ed0ff]

I don't know or care if they've seen this.

[Pi55ed0ff]

can't believe the papers ran stories. im not in a good way. i texted my in laws to say thanks for the chocolate and they replied hope you had a lovely day. couldn't help myself - i text back and said I hadn't expected it to make me reevaluate my whole life and those in it. they rang dh, to check if everything was okay. dh asked me what I'd sent them so I showed him. he was cross and asked what i meant. it turned into a massive row and I told him I was hurt that he used my birthday to buy something for himself. he said he asked people beforehand if I was going to like it and they all thought it was fine. I asked who he asked and he gave me a few names. I'm away for the night with some of them and they tell a very different story. So I don't know what's happening. But they can all fuck off if they think I'm grinning and bearing it.

my actual present from dh was some artwork - not something that would have fit in a gift bag from the in laws. the present to himself was at least as expensive, if not more. I'm so sad. :(

[gonnabreakmyrustycage]

I hope they see it and are ashamed of themselves.

[ChocolateBubbleBarsmakemefat]

Liverpool Echo have picked it up now. Sad really as first off its lazy journalism and secondly this will probably cause upset in the OP's family as they, whether rightly or wrongly have been shamed nationally. I know no real names have been used, but still I'm sure they will be mortified to see the results of their present giving splattered all over the internet.
Having a moan is simply not harmless anymore due to these parasites

[Oliversmumsarmy]

I think he dreams stuff then he thinks it is reality.

He eats the chocolate.

[Butterymuffin]

olivers keep the next bar of Green and Blacks you get, wrap it back up and give it to him for his next birthday. If it's out of date, so much the better.

And re the driving test story, I would know that wasn't true from the passenger detail (as you say, that's not allowed) and would privately conclude that your DH was a liar for some weird reason of his own. I imagine people who've heard this story of his have come to the same conclusion.

[Assburgers]

Good point from athome - try & view it as they gave you the gift of never having to give them good gifts ever again 😄

[AtHomeDadGlos]

Well, at least birthdays and Christmases are easy from here on.

[raspberrycordial]

Olivers your dh is mental.

[Feijoa]

My family is like this, my mum is very limited in her range of things she thinks of/chooses to buy. It will either be a chocolate or a hand cream and then because my adult siblings are hopeless, she writes on the card that it's from all of them. Yes including significant birthdays, except my 40th this year when they didn't get me anything. I generally try to not let it get to me, my mum at least means well but it can be disheartening.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

Yes over and over again but he has it in his head I like it.

He also has loads of stories he tells people about me that have never happened.

One being I ran over a dog whilst on my driving test.. He knows this to be true because he saw it happen as he was in the back seat at the time . The fact that you cannot have passengers during someone's driving test doesn't make I'm see sense.

[Redhead17]

I'd drink his whiskey and then probably send shitty texts to his family.

It's horrid for you but any money you plan to spend on them for xmas sieve on your self and get your husband something worth £1.50 for xmas seeing as it's ok

[wowfudge]

However pissed off you are, keep the moral high ground and write and thank them graciously. I believe in karma.

[gamerchick]

If it is any help op. I get a bar of Green and Blacks every birthday and every Christmas from dp

I hate dark chocolate

Have you told him this?

[buckeejit]

Rubbish. My in laws sometimes forget my birthday but they are incredibly supportive & it was my 40th this year & they bought special gifts.

My parents don't spend much on gifts but they are so supportive & spend lots of time with dc. I don't want them to spend money unnecessarily on unneeded stuff but they'll always look in charity shops for things that dc might like & have them in their thoughts.

I'd not make much effort if it's not reciprocated and send an extravagant note to all them (2nd class) thanks for the bar of chocolate & you all had a square each!

[Bonez]

@Oliversmumsarmy totally agree

[Oliversmumsarmy]

Bonez I think a miniature bottle of gin or vodka would be better.

It is alcohol and not to forget it is the thought that counts

[Bonez]

Dunno how your husband thinks your bar of chocolate is equal to him vintage whiskey. He said himself he thought it might be jewellery so even he was expecting something better than a chocolate bar! If they were so stuck for ideas a box of ferrero rocher would've probably been better received (at least for me) - or at the very least a £10 gift voucher for your local shopping mall! How about you tell your parents to genuinely get him a bar of chocolate for his next birthday and see what he says to that.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

If it is any help op. I get a bar of Green and Blacks every birthday and every Christmas from dp.

I hate dark chocolate.