to be pissed off

[Pi55ed0ff]

it was a significant birthday this weekend. i've been married to dh for 15 years. we don't live near his family, but he made the effort to visit them whilst working nearby a few weeks back. they made a big deal about him bringing back a present for my birthday for me. he said it was probably jewellery by the size and shape of the gift and that they had all chipped in for it. it sat on the side looking at me for 2 weeks. i opened it and it's a bar of green and black's chocolate. aibu to be upset that they made no effort whatsoever? for previous birthdays his parents alone have given me a £20 gift card, so its weird that between 6 working adults they've managed a £1.50 bar of chocolate, right? i'm hiding my disappointment for dh's sake.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

Yes over and over again but he has it in his head I like it.

He also has loads of stories he tells people about me that have never happened.

One being I ran over a dog whilst on my driving test.. He knows this to be true because he saw it happen as he was in the back seat at the time . The fact that you cannot have passengers during someone's driving test doesn't make I'm see sense.

[Feijoa]

My family is like this, my mum is very limited in her range of things she thinks of/chooses to buy. It will either be a chocolate or a hand cream and then because my adult siblings are hopeless, she writes on the card that it's from all of them. Yes including significant birthdays, except my 40th this year when they didn't get me anything. I generally try to not let it get to me, my mum at least means well but it can be disheartening.

[raspberrycordial]

Olivers your dh is mental.

[AtHomeDadGlos]

Well, at least birthdays and Christmases are easy from here on.

[Assburgers]

Good point from athome - try & view it as they gave you the gift of never having to give them good gifts ever again 😄

[Butterymuffin]

olivers keep the next bar of Green and Blacks you get, wrap it back up and give it to him for his next birthday. If it's out of date, so much the better.

And re the driving test story, I would know that wasn't true from the passenger detail (as you say, that's not allowed) and would privately conclude that your DH was a liar for some weird reason of his own. I imagine people who've heard this story of his have come to the same conclusion.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

I think he dreams stuff then he thinks it is reality.

He eats the chocolate.

[ChocolateBubbleBarsmakemefat]

Liverpool Echo have picked it up now. Sad really as first off its lazy journalism and secondly this will probably cause upset in the OP's family as they, whether rightly or wrongly have been shamed nationally. I know no real names have been used, but still I'm sure they will be mortified to see the results of their present giving splattered all over the internet.
Having a moan is simply not harmless anymore due to these parasites

[gonnabreakmyrustycage]

I hope they see it and are ashamed of themselves.

[Pi55ed0ff]

can't believe the papers ran stories. im not in a good way. i texted my in laws to say thanks for the chocolate and they replied hope you had a lovely day. couldn't help myself - i text back and said I hadn't expected it to make me reevaluate my whole life and those in it. they rang dh, to check if everything was okay. dh asked me what I'd sent them so I showed him. he was cross and asked what i meant. it turned into a massive row and I told him I was hurt that he used my birthday to buy something for himself. he said he asked people beforehand if I was going to like it and they all thought it was fine. I asked who he asked and he gave me a few names. I'm away for the night with some of them and they tell a very different story. So I don't know what's happening. But they can all fuck off if they think I'm grinning and bearing it.

my actual present from dh was some artwork - not something that would have fit in a gift bag from the in laws. the present to himself was at least as expensive, if not more. I'm so sad. :(

[Pi55ed0ff]

I don't know or care if they've seen this.

[Appuskidu]

So, did you get to the bottom of why 6 of your close in laws clubbed together to buy you a small bar of chocolate for a significant birthday?

[DiscotequeJuliet]

Oh wow

The disappointing chocolate actually has turned out to be a special gift of sorts - it's imbued you with the ability to see what an arse your husband is.

[Pi55ed0ff]

it came up in the argument with dh. when he was up there he took his mum shopping. later on that day she went to wrap my present and gave it to him saying "this is from all of us". he tried to dismiss it as her being used to signing cards from them and all of the boys when they were growing up. theyre all in their late 30s and early 40s!

I said it sent a very clear message about how much they think of me and i shan't be making any effort with them from now on. dh thinks that's unfair and the fact they haven't been to see us for over 4 years is just because they're busy. well they can all fuck off. dh and I are barely speaking.

[HouseworkIsASin10]

@Pi55ed0ff How are things going? Sorry if I missed this but what was the present to himself?

[KOKOagainandagain]

Sorry this has shone a light on your relationship with your husband. DH and I have always bonded over the crap presents from his family. One year - about 20 years ago - after years of unbelievable crap wrapped like it was something special, his sister and her husband gave us a carton advertising the contents of 12 bottles of Irish malt whiskey. We were shocked - until we opened it and found 4 cans of Stella and two 120 VHS blank tapes. They had just reused the box. We still laugh about it.