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AIBU?

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Original poster

17 year old girl walking home sexually assaulted by multiple, unconnected men

597 replies

NoLoveofMine · 13/10/2017 10:15

An absolutely horrendous case in which a 17 year old girl trying to get home on a night out was subject to multiple serious sexual assaults it seems by men completely unconnected to one another. What does this say about society, that different men in a small geographical location within the space of an hour all had such contempt for women and girls they chose to commit these abhorrent attacks on her? It's hideous. I don't usually start threads in this section of the board but I feel so enraged by these attacks and feel more should be aware of this misogyny.

[http://news.met.police.uk/news/appeal-after-woman-sexually-assaulted-by-multiple-suspects-following-night-out-267602]

OP posts:
TiesThatBindMe · 13/10/2017 14:58

I'm not being racist. I'm merely telling you that he was black.

WomblingThree · 13/10/2017 14:59

Thanks for the flowers @BertrandRussell. This thread has upset me ridiculously (and I’m as tough as old boots usually). I think I’m just not in the right frame of mind for it today - which is a privilege that poor young woman wasn’t afforded.

TiesThatBindMe · 13/10/2017 15:02

Try having that mugshot in your memory every day. You might get slightly pissed off with men's rapey entitlement.

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 13/10/2017 15:04

And sorry if my last post sounded patronising btw.

It wasn't meant to at all.

I just think teaching kids that it's ok to set boundaries in relationships, sets them up for understanding that other people can also set boundaries, and that you respect them no matter what your personal feelings.

It's always struck me that persuading very young children to have unwanted physical contact, using emotional blackmail, seems to be a dnagerous precednt to set.

BertrandRussell · 13/10/2017 15:04

Another thing is to make sure that the men in their lives are modeling the sort of men you want them to be. Boys-and girls- need to see men being kind and respectful to women and other men. They need to see men expressing their feelings. In particular, they need to see them articulating anger in ways that do not include aggression or violence. They need to see men being nice.

TiesThatBindMe · 13/10/2017 15:04

And maybe you would wonder 'who the fuck reared this animal'?

LagunaBubbles · 13/10/2017 15:15

I have no intention of discussing masturbation with my daughter. And she has never 'fiddled' with herself. She's not an animal. She's human with a brain and not some base animal with animal urges

I am sorry you have bee raped Ties but clearly you have huge issues surrounding sex, masturbation and womens attitudes towards sex if you think female masturbation is wrong and a healthy female sex drive is wrong.

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 13/10/2017 15:15

YY Bertrand.

Modelling it is essential.

Even in the language/ jokes you use, even the seemingly harmless jokes build up a picture of women as "inferior".
So no joking about women drivers, or womens sports for example.

No "you throw like a girl" comments.

GinDaddy · 13/10/2017 15:17

Looks like my post a couple of pages ago was TL;DR as I feared 😐😃

In any case - I'm a dad, and I was shaken to the core by this story.

It is NEVER acceptable to blame a victim of this crime; I can't understand why anyone would be complicit in this kind of enabling.

What is at stake is how men view the "power" relationship with women, a big reason why these things happen in my humble view. It's not just about rocks off - it's about some men who can't accept women have choice, have the power to decide who they want, if they want anything at all, how they choose to look.

We just need to get to a place where open, sexy, powerful women are just celebrated, men recognise that there is no divine right to women's bodies, that everyone talks and consents and RESPECTS each other

TiesThatBindMe · 13/10/2017 15:17

Where did I say that I thought female masturbation is wrong? Quote me at your leisure.

Original poster
NoLoveofMine · 13/10/2017 15:18

Absolutely Lana and Bertrand. All comments like that feed into the belief women and girls are lesser, to be mocked, beneath men and boys. Men and boys need to challenge these comments from peers, fight the normalisation of this contempt for women and girls which is so commonplace and often almost unthinking.

OP posts:
Original poster
NoLoveofMine · 13/10/2017 15:19

GinDaddy I read it. I'm glad you agree victim blaming is never acceptable and hope you are able to challenge it if you see it.

OP posts:
TiesThatBindMe · 13/10/2017 15:20

Noloveofmine you seem to think this isn't about sexual gratification? Can you elaborate as to why you think it's nothing to do with sex?

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 13/10/2017 15:20

Ties here....

And she has never 'fiddled' with herself. She's not an animal.

What the hell do you mean with this, if you don't think female masturbation is wrong??

Are you seriously saying that anyone who masturbates is an animal with no brain?

BertrandRussell · 13/10/2017 15:22

GinDaddy- do you find it possible to talk like that amongst male friends and colleagues? Or is the culture too entrenched?

TiesThatBindMe · 13/10/2017 15:23

Men who rape are animals. They are entitled to masturbate/rape whatever you call it. It's them getting their rocks off. It's not sex. Sex is between two consenting and willing and hopefully eager adults.

My daughter simply has not ever 'fiddled' with herself. She is too busy doing other things that involve her brain.

Original poster
NoLoveofMine · 13/10/2017 15:24

Sometimes you can speak out but other times it is very difficult to do so, large groups of men after a few drinks etc.

Whilst I appreciate that, think how difficult it is for women and girls to challenge this misogyny when even a man such as yourself admits he finds it difficult to.

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 13/10/2017 15:25

Where did I say that I thought female masturbation is wrong? Quote me at your leisure

Right here Ties king og gives your attitude away....

I have no intention of discussing masturbation with my daughter. And she has never 'fiddled' with herself. She's not an animal. She's human with a brain and not some base animal with animal urges

Humans masturbate. Human females masturbate - makes them human not animals. Yet you say a human with a brain should be above animal urges and not masturbate then eh?

LagunaBubbles · 13/10/2017 15:25

kind of

TiesThatBindMe · 13/10/2017 15:26

I don't find it difficult as a woman to challenge misogyny. I have absolutely no problem doing so. It's not as if a man is going to is it?

LagunaBubbles · 13/10/2017 15:27

My daughter simply has not ever 'fiddled' with herself. She is too busy doing other things that involve her brain

You have no clue what your daughter gets up to in the privacy of her own personal space. Again this sentence screams that you think masturbation is somehow wrong....

scatterolight · 13/10/2017 15:27

OP starts a thread about this story and then dictates that it can only be discussed in puerile generalities. The location of this rape is relevant, the background of the perpetrators is relevant. Given changing demographics will "rape culture" increase in future or will it decrease?

I look forward to your probing threads on Rochdale and Rotherham OP: "All menz are bastards. Nothing to see here"?

TiesThatBindMe · 13/10/2017 15:28

Where in that did I say that masturbation is wrong?

Youshallnotpass · 13/10/2017 15:28

Noloveofmine

I agree 100%, "Lad Culture" can be intimidating if you disagree with it or them, even for men.

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