Hi, my first post (a regular reader but compelled obviously to post on this subject).
I'm a dad, married, father of a daughter who just turned one.
I want to give my perspective. it is absolutely and completely NUTS to blame any woman who is attacked by a man. It just has never crossed my mind to, no matter how allegedly "vulnerable" she was in walking down a street alone at night (which should be a basic right).
The fault always lies with men, because we actually have the free will and choice to act. Compassion, empathy and above all respect, are the key to this not happening. It can't be the woman's fault if men have control over their actions. Anyone who victim blames like this is wrong, because they're looking at trying to mitigate the damage, as if victimhood is "inevitable". 😳
An earlier poster commented on the obsession and focus with "getting one's rocks off" to the exclusion of everything else - they are spot on. As a former nightclub DJ I have seen people in clubs bounce from woman to woman, looking for the one they'll have the most chance with, then pursue them, stand outside, follow them while talking, put the pressure on etc in the hope of the conclusion. If more men were raised to realise that consent - proper consent not relentless abusive pressure while drunk - is actually very sexy. Well in my view it is, because despite having had casual partners etc, I always wanted to think that they were 100% in the room because they consciously chose to be.
But I digress. Much of this isn't actually about "rocks off" but is also a power thing NOT sex - a belief that from groping to following to assault, a man has some sort of power over a woman at all times. This is clearly warped and disgusting, and I can't fathom it.
I was lucky. I was raised by a political feminist. I'm attracted to strong women etc. I abhor violence against women, having watched my late father beat my mother for the first decade of my life. However for me it's the "lad" culture that makes a huge problem for our country. I watch Geordie Shore, Ex On The Beach etc, and the culture of "grafting" and pressuring girls, of jumping between women relentlessly until one consents, just devalues stuff and for me creates dangerous areas around respect .
If a woman wants to be sexually confident, this has to be prized and respected - we have to create space in society for this, but I fear we instead have huge issues around male identity.
Sorry if TL;DR