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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

17 year old girl walking home sexually assaulted by multiple, unconnected men

597 replies

NoLoveofMine · 13/10/2017 10:15

An absolutely horrendous case in which a 17 year old girl trying to get home on a night out was subject to multiple serious sexual assaults it seems by men completely unconnected to one another. What does this say about society, that different men in a small geographical location within the space of an hour all had such contempt for women and girls they chose to commit these abhorrent attacks on her? It's hideous. I don't usually start threads in this section of the board but I feel so enraged by these attacks and feel more should be aware of this misogyny.

[http://news.met.police.uk/news/appeal-after-woman-sexually-assaulted-by-multiple-suspects-following-night-out-267602]

OP posts:
GinDaddy · 13/10/2017 15:29

Thanks @NoLoveOfMine - I honestly can't say I have challenged every situation, which makes me part of the problem.

But I can remember in my nightclub days, when we were counting up the money, asking a woman "are you ok" as she looked seriously uncomfortable with a guy literally physically blocking her into a corner and kissing up on her etc. She gets a cab home, he gets predictably rowdy etc, wasn't greet. Similarly I hate any talk of passing round a "bird", or rating "birds" etc - it's not rape but it all contributes to unsafe spaces and furthers misogyny, it's just wrong

Speaking of which, I respect Mumsnet is a safe space for women to talk about this so I won't witter on, but providing male perspective if helpful/useful!

TiesThatBindMe · 13/10/2017 15:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

threadarick · 13/10/2017 15:34

Yikes.

Some issues playing out on here today.

Original poster
NoLoveofMine · 13/10/2017 15:35

What a ridiculous post scatterolight with baseless insinuations about me.

OP posts:
GinDaddy · 13/10/2017 15:35

Hi @BertrandRussell Great question - i do feel confident (at times, I'm not consistent I admit) speaking out to colleagues and mates, but I'm fortunate in that I've always been a bit weird to them and outspoken, I don't really worry too much about initially offending, as if we have a good debate, we usually agree to disagree or they come away with something I hope. when i was younger I got asked to be in a certain group situation that I felt wasn't right - I said it, I said it again, that person didn't beat me up for saying it.

But then again like I said, I'm lucky I've always been outspoken and I grew up with a feminist mother, have always had lots of female friends, currently work in majority female teams.

Original poster
NoLoveofMine · 13/10/2017 15:36

Youshallnotpass whilst I agree I do think it's vital for men to challenge it and consider what it's like for women and girls having to live with it (as you do). One of my brothers is 15 and he challenges it amongst friends - though even he is relatively lucky as in his school, social status seems to be largely tied to whether you're in the rugby team and he is, which gives him a greater "standing" to influence his peers. Ridiculous it should be seen like this though.

OP posts:
Original poster
NoLoveofMine · 13/10/2017 15:41

GinDaddy thanks for the openness and honesty. I can understand it's difficult to challenge every situation, though would add as I said to Youshallnotpass women and girls don't have a choice about existing within the culture this happens in.

Similarly I hate any talk of passing round a "bird", or rating "birds" etc - it's not rape but it all contributes to unsafe spaces and furthers misogyny, it's just wrong

Absolutely. It all feeds into the attitudes towards and views of women and girls which enables such attacks in my opinion.

OP posts:
MNHQ
SophieLMumsnet · 13/10/2017 15:41

Thanks for the reports, everyone.

We're going to temporarily suspend the thread while we read over it.

Original poster
NoLoveofMine · 13/10/2017 15:42

Why?

OP posts:
Original poster
NoLoveofMine · 13/10/2017 15:43

This is a vital thread on an abhorrent attack and the wider culture behind these attitudes.

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 13/10/2017 15:43

"The location of this rape is relevant, the background of the perpetrators is relevant. Given changing demographics will "rape culture" increase in future or will it decrease?"

So for you, @scatterolight, the location is part of the problem, as is the background of the perpetrators (if you mean race/ethnicity/religion you should probably be specific).

What is it about this location that's the issue? Is it a more widespread problem in other areas and what can be done to change the location to make it less dangerous?

Can you be more specific about the background of these attackers? The police appeal didn't specify anything about their race/ethnicity/religion so what is it about this that concerns you?

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 13/10/2017 15:44

The location of this rape is relevant, the background of the perpetrators is relevant. Given changing demographics will "rape culture" increase in future or will it decrease

The colour of the perpetrators isn't really all that relevant. The common factor is sex not race. Race/culture may intersect with this, but the issue is men,.of whatever colour

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 13/10/2017 15:45

@MNHQ can you clarify why??

This is a vital discussion on the safety of women and girls everywhere.

Original poster
NoLoveofMine · 13/10/2017 15:45

TiesThatBindMe I'm sorry to read of the attack you suffered.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 13/10/2017 15:46

Oh, ffs. Who reported? And why suspend?

Original poster
NoLoveofMine · 13/10/2017 15:48

I reported a couple of posts for racism earlier in the thread but can't understand why it'd be suspended.

OP posts:
TiesThatBindMe · 13/10/2017 15:48

God forbid we discussed rape. Pathetic. We might offend someone. A man maybe. Ach, HQ are losing their shit these days.

TiesThatBindMe · 13/10/2017 15:49

I didn't see any racist posts. Very silly.

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 13/10/2017 15:51

Oh ffs indeed.

It's a debate.

The racism was challenged in a perfectly healthy way.

There has been some robust discussion.

There really aren't any personal attacks.

And to prove this is a healthy debate....I'm going to point out that I fear Ties might be right...

God forbid we discussed rape. Pathetic. We might offend someone. A man maybe. Ach, HQ are losing their shit these days

God I hope it's not for that.

BertrandRussell · 13/10/2017 15:51

Well, I saw some racist posts. But reporting them only means the person concerned can hide again. And as for supening the thread-words fail me!

Original poster
NoLoveofMine · 13/10/2017 15:52

Sorry Bertrand I didn't think of it like that, I was just frustrated the thread was being derailed in that way.

OP posts:
user1471596238 · 13/10/2017 15:52

Karatkitten not everyone. That's ridiculous.

LagunaBubbles · 13/10/2017 15:52

Ties dont be obtuse. I never said you SAID on this thread female masturbation is wrong but your posts give away that you think this.

TiesThatBindMe · 13/10/2017 15:54

Must have skimmed through racist posts apart from M4Dad insinuating race but not openly stating it. Now that I think of it, I skipped a few pages as I was so annoyed.

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 13/10/2017 15:54

There has been some rather blatant hints about the areas it's in, and insinuations that it's all those immigrants fault, cos white men never rape. Hmm

But whether you agree or not, the point is, it was challenged, nobody got nasty, and thats what a debate is all about.

I just don't get why it needs to be suspended??

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