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Original poster

17 year old girl walking home sexually assaulted by multiple, unconnected men

597 replies

NoLoveofMine · 13/10/2017 10:15

An absolutely horrendous case in which a 17 year old girl trying to get home on a night out was subject to multiple serious sexual assaults it seems by men completely unconnected to one another. What does this say about society, that different men in a small geographical location within the space of an hour all had such contempt for women and girls they chose to commit these abhorrent attacks on her? It's hideous. I don't usually start threads in this section of the board but I feel so enraged by these attacks and feel more should be aware of this misogyny.

[http://news.met.police.uk/news/appeal-after-woman-sexually-assaulted-by-multiple-suspects-following-night-out-267602]

OP posts:
PuntasticUsername · 15/10/2017 10:35

"my son who is in year 2 told me they play chasing the girls at school"

Same. DS says that chasing the girls is the only way he can play with the girls. He would really prefer to play with them as if they were normal human beings, but everyone in the playground knows that that's not allowed. Boys and girls don't play together unless the boys are chasing the girls.

I only found this out the other day, keep thinking about it enough that I might risk becoming That Parent and saying something to the teacher.

Original poster
NoLoveofMine · 15/10/2017 10:38

It sounds like you're doing wonderfully CheerfulYank.

You're welcome woman11017. The situations you describe at the school local go you are shocking. Pupils being taught boys "need" pornography then boys being allowed out at lunchtime whilst girls the same age aren't is appalling; in the latter cases girls already being restricted and having less freedom than boys (sanctioned by the school) due to risk of male sexual violence.

Very sorry to read of what your daughter is going through Bertrand and I hope she'll be out of that situation soon Flowers

OP posts:
Original poster
NoLoveofMine · 15/10/2017 10:39

Great post Rebel.

OP posts:
MillicentFawcett · 15/10/2017 10:54

I've been thinking about this, particularly in light of revelations about Weinstein, and I think there are things women and men can do.

All those men who knew about Weinstein and did nothing. The ones who paid off the women who complained and wrote it into his contract. They should be prosecuted. Men have to start calling this shit out. There needs to be zero tolerance- it's not good enough to weakly say 'no thanks, a strip club isn't really my thing' and leave it at that.

As women, we need to start telling our stories. We have nearly all been victims of sexual abuse. We have to speak out. Men need to know how widespread this is - it's endemic.

And we need to take a zero tolerance approach to porn. It's not okay for women to tolerate it in their relationships. Because it contributes to the whole narrative around women's bodies being available for men's pleasure, to be discarded at will when spent. Any men who but and consume porn are part of the problem. It is all male violence. All of it.

I was at Feminism in London yesterday and Karen Ingala Smith was documenting the background to some of the men who had killed women. They had backgrounds of sexual assault and race before ramping up to beating a woman to death. These things don't happen in a vacuum and until we recognise that, 150 women are going to continue being murdered every year.

MillicentFawcett · 15/10/2017 10:55

And yes I totally agree that it is never too early to teach children about consent.

InfiniteCurve · 15/10/2017 10:58

As most of you are mothers on this thread I presume, and probably half of you are mothers to boys, what do you teach them about sexual gratification? An animal instinct they're entitled to? Or a privilege of a loving relationship. I don't need to guess as to the answer. Mothers of boys are the problem.

I'm the mother of a boy - he's been taught about consent,he challenges sexist views and comments at school - he comes home and moans to me about what an idiot someone in his class was being,what he (DS) said in response.
And he will be going away to Uni next year,hopefully.
I am worried that he won't fit in with his peers.But if the culture is toxic masculinity and misogyny I don't want him to fit in...
But this kind of assumption is what brings people on saying "not all men"You have made a blanket statement about what mothers teach their sons and it ain't true - some mothers? Too many mothers? Possibly.But if that's what you mean that's what you need to say.

Original poster
NoLoveofMine · 15/10/2017 11:03

Excellent points Millicent. It's vital men challenge misogyny amongst peers, when they encounter or overhear it, every time. It's not enough to protest it's not them, they have to stop it from being other men.

InfiniteCurve your son sounds great. He will be making a real difference in challenging misogyny and not letting it pass without comment and some boys he knows will be taking it on board. One of my brothers is the same and always challenges sexism at school etc. It's fantastic your son challenges all this and tells you about it, we need more boys like him and he'll be a vital influence at university.

OP posts:
kateandme · 15/10/2017 11:03

has anyone seen the police cup of tea advert.its very good one for consent

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 15/10/2017 11:08

The mothers of boys quotes never seem to take into account that lots of mothers of boys are mothers of daughters as well

Witsender · 15/10/2017 11:11

Mothers of boys cannot take all the blame for this. Yet more misogynistic bullshit. If you're for taking the blame yet again, why not the fathers of boys?

RebelRogue · 15/10/2017 11:12

Seen the cup if tea many times. It’s simple,it makes sense,it’s to the point,but something bothers me about it and I can’t quite figure what it is.

RebelRogue · 15/10/2017 11:14

@Witsender because a woman somewhere must be to blame. If not the victim,then the mother,the wife whatever. As long as there’s a woman shouldering the blame as well.

NewDaddie · 15/10/2017 14:00

* what do you teach them about sexual gratification? An animal instinct they're entitled to? Or a privilege of a loving relationship.*

Both.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 15/10/2017 14:10

I seem to have avoided the whole sexual gratification conversation

I havent done it on purpose

I just said sex is nice and its very nice with someone you like/love

I may have missed the boat on this one at ds1 is nearly 19, and dd refuses to listen to any conversation involving the words penis or vagina or sex...or a combination of the three

I still have ds2

ChakraLines · 15/10/2017 14:32

Some men from any background or nationality actually don’t like women when it comes down to it. They don’t think much of us, and this only comes out when behavioural constraints are relaxed (for whatever reason) or the cultural norm shifts. So misogyny is present already in some men, but it is ratched up some notches by the arrival in large numbers of mostly the MENA culture into boroughs such as Tower Hamlets and this is why we are seeing far more groping and other sexual misconduct.

Women being out at night, living independently etc is so provocative and genuinely upsetting to those whose faith prohibits this type of life for females and we see men ‘teaching’ women a lesson.

But this outright disregard for women emboldens other men, from anywhere, who are nasty to begin with, and so sex attacks on women continue to increase because the cultural norm has changed in a town which would prefer to punish women (if the opportunity presents itself) who are making their way home at night without a man. What do you think the NYE 2016 sex attacks in Cologne, France, Holland and other EU places were about?

woman11017 · 15/10/2017 14:55

those whose faith prohibits this type of life
What, tories? Football hooligans? Domestic violence perpetrators?

threadarick · 15/10/2017 14:58

True. Rape, domestic abuse, and sexism didn’t exist before they moved here. You know, them.

(I’m not racist, I’m just saying what we all know but don’t dare say out loud.)

Etc etc etc.

woman11017 · 15/10/2017 15:00

Do you mean privately educated sexists like JRMogg? Farage? Arron Banks:
"In August 2012, Banks was arrested on suspicion of harassment, but not charged, and was issued with a "prevention of harassment" notice and words of advice after harassment allegations by 33-year-old Jo Featherby. After Featherby had complained to the police, she was dismissed from the insurance company GoSkippy — linked to Banks's firm Brightside. Featherby commenced employment tribunal proceedings against GoSkippy, alleging unfair dismissal. She later agreed an out-of-court settlement" wiki.

ChakraLines · 15/10/2017 15:07

No Woman, males are brought up quite differently in my father's culture and in his faith. You speak as if you have lived in a cave for many years and have not seen or heard anything. There are 11 threads on Cologne on MN - try educating yourself.

woman11017 · 15/10/2017 15:09

You speak as if you have lived in a cave for many years and have not seen or heard anything
You speak like Yoda.Grin

ChakraLines · 15/10/2017 15:13

I had to google Yoda. Of course, as I suspected, this must be Teenage Hour on MN.

RebelRogue · 15/10/2017 15:19

Oh God not this again Confused

threadarick · 15/10/2017 15:25

Yeah, knowing who Yoda is is pretty darn niche and hip. Grin

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 15/10/2017 17:19

Im 48

Obviously i know who yoda is...my message notification on my phone is yoda

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 15/10/2017 17:20

You would have to live in a cave NOT to know who Yoda is