AIBU to resent being shamed by weird tight " friend "

[Mill46]

Back story - very old Uni friend and I get together every 3 months or so . We both very lucky and have worked hard . We have good jobs and earn what would be considered by most to be a very decent salary . We meet and have dinner somewhere that's not expensive . It's always nice to see her and I enjoy her company .
She has a complicated domestic life as compared to my rather boring one.
She contacted me to say she was going to be in town so we organised to meet .
I booked a fixed price menu at a reasonable restaurant and was staggered when she texted me to say did I mind meeting just for a drink as she's not got a lot of money at the moment .
I rarely go out for many reasons and seeing that this has been planned for so long I can't see why she couldn't have "saved " the 30 quid or so that it would cost .
AIBU that i think she's shaming me and being pasive aggressive as there is no way that she can't afford it ? I know mumsnet folks will say , if she's you friend see her anyway ( which I'm happy to do ) but I feel there is more to this . She could have simply cancelled , said she only had time for a quick drink - anything .
What do I do ? Cancel , meet her and feel bad that she's got no money and buy her diner , or have a drink and f* off home ?

You are drawing completely ridiculous conclusions.

The problem is with you, if this is how you feel, not her.

How is she shaming you? Perhaps an unexpected expense has cropped up, there could be a number of reasons why she’s a bit skint this month, it happens to everyone at some point I imagine!

You come across as very defensive and a bit bonkers. YABU.

Maybe she doesn't want to spend as long as having dinner would take with you and would rather just spend an hour with you?

I think it's ok to not say that.

Maybe she has dinner plans already?

If this was my friend, I'd message back, "Hey lovely, this one's on me- looking forward to catching up! xxx"

Or if you can't afford that, "No problem- I'll cook! xxx"

And I know that any of my friends would do the same for me.

How are you reading so much into what she said? You’re being ridiculous! She’s short this month and wants a cheaper meet up, that’s all. Well, unless you regularly over analyze every utterance to find something to be offended by That could make her want to limit getting together to a quick drink...

So it's predictable responses because people are telling you YABU?

It sounds like you’re shaming her. I couldn’t afford to splash out £30 on a meal right now. That’s a lot of money to some people.
Why on earth would she lie?

you're weird

I think you're being ridiculous. if you're so bothered, treat her to dinner. It's nearly xmas, maybe she's saving for special gifts.
She's not shaming you in any way. I think you're being a bit nuts about this tbh

That could have been me 6 months ago - we are affluent by any description (sorry, that sounds ick) but DP was having serious ongoing work problems and thought he was going to resign, we had 3 months of really not spending anything because we knew it would be hard for him to find another job. We didn't tell anyone though because he didn't want anyone to know what was going on at work.

It's probably not about you.

This weird, tight friend, whose company you enjoy and it's always nice to see (your words)

You do sound bonkers honestly.

You are being utterly ridiculous.

You have absolutely no idea what might be happening regarding unexpected financial hiccups etc.

YABU

30 quid for 2 fixed price menu BTW. Can't get out of pizza express for less than that . Well money is also a metaphor isn't it ?

*Mill46

Maybe -and thanks MN for coming in with sensible interpretations . perhaps she's been gambling ! It's nuanced . She - private schools , designer handbags , big house country . It's almost an affectation to say she got no money . Heh ho - it's a bit like saying I haven't got money to spend seeing you basically*

What on earth are you on about?!?

Private schools and naff handbags don’t make you rich, they make you poor

Sometimes £30 is hard to come by even when you're working. It could be any number of reasons, maybe she had unexpected costs this month.
Just meet for a drink and chat.

You are being ridiculous.

So what? If she can't afford to spend it, she can't afford to spend it. Doesn't matter if it's £30 for 3 Michelin stars.

'Metaphor'? It's catching up with a mate, not a bloody engagement ring.

She might not want to see you OP. I quite often say I need to save money to avoid seeing a girl who is constantly pestering me for dinners out. That, or you know, she actually is just telling the truth!

Better she's honest ahead of time than she turns up and tries to sidle out of paying her share. Perhaps this might be a moment to check out the delights of McDonald's or Burger King?

Maybe she doaent want to spend the money having seiner with you

Exactly my point - and ofcourse it's al about me - I'm writing the post .

There's obviously much more to this than you're saying. Seems she's being honest andstill wants to see you. So what if she can afford those things maybe that's why she's a bit strapped or a big bill has come along.
I wondering why she's bothering though...

there is no way that she can't afford it

How the fuck do you know what she can afford? Just because she earns a decent wage it doesn't mean she hasn't got high outgoings. Maybe she is saving for something that's a bit more precious than spending £30 on a meal going out with you.