AIBU to resent being shamed by weird tight " friend "

[Mill46]

Back story - very old Uni friend and I get together every 3 months or so . We both very lucky and have worked hard . We have good jobs and earn what would be considered by most to be a very decent salary . We meet and have dinner somewhere that's not expensive . It's always nice to see her and I enjoy her company .
She has a complicated domestic life as compared to my rather boring one.
She contacted me to say she was going to be in town so we organised to meet .
I booked a fixed price menu at a reasonable restaurant and was staggered when she texted me to say did I mind meeting just for a drink as she's not got a lot of money at the moment .
I rarely go out for many reasons and seeing that this has been planned for so long I can't see why she couldn't have "saved " the 30 quid or so that it would cost .
AIBU that i think she's shaming me and being pasive aggressive as there is no way that she can't afford it ? I know mumsnet folks will say , if she's you friend see her anyway ( which I'm happy to do ) but I feel there is more to this . She could have simply cancelled , said she only had time for a quick drink - anything .
What do I do ? Cancel , meet her and feel bad that she's got no money and buy her diner , or have a drink and f* off home ?

[Cosmic123]

Erm are you a journalist? This doesn't seem very feasible. I worked as a debt adviser for several years and you simply cannot tell someone's financial circumstances by their salary. If you are for real and you consider her a friend I would suggest taking her word for it and not being so judgmental.

[MumsTheWordYouKnow]

KatieScarlett that’s hilarious. My conclusion of this thread is fake. OP only commented back once and it sounded very odd and off and the original post was ridiculous, as if anyone would talk about their friend like this just because they couldn’t afford a meal out.

[SkaPunkPrincess]

Were not we're

[SkaPunkPrincess]

we're you expecting her to pay for YOUR meal op? sounds like it. would also make sense why you think she is shaming YOU.

[MaggieS41]

Looks like she has left the building but I still need to make my point!!

If my friend told me the same thing I’d automatically say not to worry I’d shout her. No reason why good friends can’t do this then return the favour next time. I’d also bring up over dinner if everything was ok as you can’t assume.
^^Why couldn’t she say quick drink, OP says? Apologies she didn’t add the ‘quick’ to the ‘drink’

OP, you’re the weird one and a little too far up your own arse I think.....

[Notanotherpawpatrol]

£30 isn't much to dh and I... Unless it's one of the childrens birthday months, the baby end up being admitted to hospital and we have to pay extortionate parking fees, my cousin gets married and the washing machine brakes. Then £30 is too much to spend on a dinner.
This happened this month 🙈😂

[FruBayerischOla]

I think the OP left the building last Friday, Raquel?

[RaquelWelch]

I think OP has left the building

[Softkitty2]

OP--- over thinking much? Seriously you need to get out of your own head

[DanicaRose3]

Lol! Your thread makes NO sense op.. whatsoever

[raspberrysuicide]

If it were my friend i would pay for her meal this time

[KatieScarlett]

So a couple of weeks ago I was arranging a birthday dinner for a friend. One of the invitees couldn't come because she was skint. I said "no worries" and got on with my day.
Did that bitch money-shame me? I noticed when I was at hers a couple of days ago, she had M&S biscuits in. She said they were a gift, but I bet she's secretly living the high life and laughing at me behind my back.

[lastofthewintergin]

She just wants to meet for a drink. She’s not shaming you or being passive aggressive. My reply would have been ‘Of course that’s totally fine, will meet you at x’. I don’t really understand the problem. Sometimes people can look well off but cash flow is a different matter altogether.

[CatsRidingRollercoasters]

Some friend you are

[MumsTheWordYouKnow]

Omg a very good friend says that and you feel you’re being shamed. You have no idea what someone else’s situation is to make them say that. How rude.

[Daphne22]

Just meet for a drink for gawds sake, you are making everything too complicated. Your friend maybe on a diet and doesn't wish to tell/bore everyone explaining. Grab a sandwich before you meet her if you want food and enjoy a matter. Shake a leg girl and make a life, I'm 74 and have had some far away holidays on my own (with a reputable company and a tour guide) Life doesn't come to you, go out and make it for yourself! I'm off on a safari soon!

[WellThisIsShit]

Hope you have a really nice time OP, whatever and wherever it ends up being. :)

[HashtagTired]

She might just be prioritising her finances, saving for something else or paying of another purchase. Just because you know what someone earns, doesn’t mean to say you know their financial situation and commitments.

[NymeriaStark]

All the money in the world wouldn't make me want to go to dinner with you OP; you sound like a horrible friend.

[dimdarkashian]

Have you been sniffing glue op?

[abigailgabble]

jesus how chippy are you maybe she’s noticed. don’t have dinner with her save both of you the agg!

[sweetbitter]

I don't get the shaming bit.

I don't usually think twice about spending whatever on dinner/evenings out with friends. But occasionally I decide to try to cut back in order to save for a big purchase like a holiday or something. It's not actual saving as in accumulating enough money for it, because I already have the money, but rather cutting back in other areas so that I feel less guilty about buying it and try to nominally balance the books a bit. Maybe this is what your friend is doing.

[Wassock]

Bonkers! And mean! So glad you're not my friend!!

[Fluffypinkpyjamas]

Op you are the weird friend. She's not tight, she cannot afford it and she told you so. If that were me and my friend, I would buy her dinner. After all, you can afford to.