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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to make a cake in laws can't eat

223 replies

thiskittenbarks · 12/10/2017 11:50

It's DPs big birthday this weekend. I'm making him a cake. In laws are coming to visit. But none of them will be able to eat the cake I am making.
In order to make a cake they could eat it would have to be a gluten free vegan cake with no fruit or veg or spice in it. DPs fave cake is carrot cake, so that's problematic already. Every birthday it has to be gluten free vegan and he gets really annoyed about it as he says they taste like saw dust. I'm sure it is possible to make a nice gluten free vegan cake (in fact I've done it before), but it's his birthday and it's about him surely?? He loves buttercream and kinder buenos. Would you be annoyed if you were my in laws and came to and there was a gluteny buttery cake, covered in kinder buenos? Do I have to make a separate cake for them?

OP posts:
MrsHathaway · 12/10/2017 12:09

vegan gluten-free spice-free vegetable-free fruit-free cake

Cake usually contains egg, butter, wheat flour and sugar, flavoured with vegetables, fruit, nuts or spices. Sooooo, we're left with sugar and nuts. And candied nuts usually contain egg Grin

I've just learned that Kendal Mint Cake (which I was going to link sarcastically) is neither gluten-free nor vegetarian, let alone vegan.

Absolutely make him the birthday cake he wants. Buy in something so nobody is left out. Am I right in thinking the complicated requirements are different for different people eg there's one vegan and one coeliac and one bland-fusspot? So you can pick up a couple of slightly different things?

cakecakecheese · 12/10/2017 12:09

It's his birthday cake he should get what he wants. Provide them something if you can but not if it creates a lot of extra work.

When I was little I had allergies and there were certain things I couldn't eat and if I went to kids parties my Mum would check what the food was likely to be with the hosts beforehand and if necessary bring along my special blah food. That's what you do isn't it if you have tricky dietary requirements? Bring along something you can eat rather than expecting your Grandson or whoever to eat something they hate.

GlitterGlue · 12/10/2017 12:10

Are their dietary needs medical or preference? If the former I'd attempt to source something they could eat. If the latter chuck them a peanut.

Birthday person gets to pick the cake.

Cookiecake · 12/10/2017 12:11

I would definitely make your DH a cake he wants but I would make another cake for your in laws. If you can't make a cake i'm sure there is something simple you could make or buy for them as an alternative. I'd probably keep it quite simple though but would make the effort as my son has allergies and really appreciate it when people do.

RideOn · 12/10/2017 12:11

Make the cake he wants and then some other dessert offerings for the ILs.
I am struggling to imagine the ingredients to a "cake" that is vegan, gluten free, no fruit, no veg and no spice!! Is it a flapjack?

MrsHathaway · 12/10/2017 12:12

Thing is, there is lots of lovely vegan food. There is lots of lovely gluten-free food. And so on.

But none of them is cake. And he wants cake for his birthday.

MrsHathaway · 12/10/2017 12:12

Flapjack is only gluten free if you get gluten free oats, which are expensive if you can find them at all, and don't glue together quite the same way.

ReanimatedSGB · 12/10/2017 12:13

Are your inlaws attention-seeking whinyarses, by any chance? It's entirely reasonable to make the cake your DP likes as it is his birthday, not theirs. (If the birthday person was the one with the ridiculous dietary restrictions then it might be a bit harsh to serve up a cake that only the person who's actual birthday it is cannot eat.)
Two cakes = job done, unless these people are the sort who will take it as some sort of 'non-acceptance' of their fads and moan all the way through the party. In which case I would still do the two cakes and take the piss out of the moaners.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 12/10/2017 12:13

We always buy/make two. One normal. One gluten, dairy, nut free. Everyone's happy.

We usually buy the most complicated one.

RhiannonOHara · 12/10/2017 12:13

Also - how do they manage being vegan with no fruit or veg? Yes, I was wondering this!

BarbarianMum · 12/10/2017 12:14

I think that, if you are inviting them over, you need to cater for them - its really rude to invite people over then provide nothing. But it certainly doesn't have to be the birthday cake, or even home made.

TalkinBoutWhat · 12/10/2017 12:14

Vegan, gluten free cake with no fruit, veg or spice in it? What the hell do you have left???

Give him his cake of choice, and whip up something boring for them on the side.

RhiannonOHara · 12/10/2017 12:14

Could you make cupcakes instead, one batch suitable for them and then some to his taste?

SoupDragon · 12/10/2017 12:14

I would love to know what dietary requirements mean all those things are unacceptable!

As others have said, I would make him the cake he wants and buy/make an appropriate one for the in laws, just to be hospitable.

BarbarianMum · 12/10/2017 12:15

Talk lemon drizzle is nice. Or chocolate brownies.

Lweji · 12/10/2017 12:15

It's his cake. Make one that he likes.

SoupDragon · 12/10/2017 12:16

Lemon drizzle has fruit in it.

Bluetrews25 · 12/10/2017 12:16

Tell them to bring their own cake as you can't find a suitable recipe for all of them.
Then tell us what they brought - bet they can't find anything either!
And make the cake your DH dreams of.
I bet they have a bit after all!!

SoupDragon · 12/10/2017 12:17

Rice crispie cakes could fulfil the requirements. But they aren't really cake.

Lweji · 12/10/2017 12:18

And it's his parents. If he wants a proper cake, let him have it.

Meanwhile, you could try this one:

minimalistbaker.com/1-bowl-vegan-gluten-free-carrot-cake/

blanklook · 12/10/2017 12:19

Make him the cake of his dreams because it's his birthday.

Buy, (if you can with those exclusions) or make them a small token cake that will fit their dietary requirements.

Original poster
thiskittenbarks · 12/10/2017 12:19

There is a vegan who doesn't eat fruit or veg or like spice (basically eats potato, bread and vegan cheese exclusively), a vegan who eats fruit and veg, and someone who doesn't eat gluten. Thanks guys you've made me feel better. For their birthdays everyone has to have the chocolate sawdust cake, so I felt bad about waving the bueno carrot cake in front of them when no one can eat it (normally we have something nice but they aren't usually here with us)

OP posts:
KrytensNanobots · 12/10/2017 12:19

Oh blimey, no way! It's your dp's birthday, he should be able to enjoy his own birthday cake!
I'm allergic to eggs. I wouldn't dream of expecting people to make an egg free cake when it's their birthday just so I can have a slice (although it would be lovely of course if they did!)

BarbarianMum · 12/10/2017 12:20

Depends why you are avoiding fruit though. The only people I know who avoid dried fruit have diverticulitus (sp?) so have to avoid things that'd get stuck in the gut. They're OK with lemon drizzle.

BeyondThePage · 12/10/2017 12:20

Make the cake for DH, provide something from a shop for them.

(I take it the vegan and the coeliac and the no fruit/veg/spices etc are not necessarily all the same person)

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