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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am in the wrong here?

190 replies

Louiseop · 12/10/2017 08:49

Hello
Me and my partner have just moved into a new property.
I work full time and he is currently in between jobs.
I picked a carpet out and he liked it,so I gave him the money (over £1000) for him to go to the shop and pay for them.
Come home Tuesday all excited and ask when they being fitted ..."don't know"
Was his response.
Ok why don't you know?
The man needs to come down Thursday (today ) to double check the measurements.
This morning arrives...just left for work and I say
"At least we will know today when the carpets will be down"
His response ."no we won't"
So I ask why?
"He is just coming to double check measurements then I guess he will have to order carpet,he will probably ring me when he can"
So I got annoyed and said
"Well ask how long roughly before they are fitted)
He said .."I'm not asking that he will ring when he can"
So then I get annoyed and say
"What's the problem in asking for a rough estimate after we have just gave him over a grand"
So he raises his voice now and starts being patronising ...
"Ok then you tell me how carpet shops work,has Joe blogs got all these carpets lying around waiting for people to order,come on you tell me how it works"
I told him to fuck off and walked out.
All I wanted was a idea of how long it should be?

OP posts:
SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 12/10/2017 08:53

What?

MaidenMotherCrone · 12/10/2017 08:54

I don't think the carpet is your problem here.

KarateKitten · 12/10/2017 08:54

I've only bought a carpet once and did have to wait some time for the carpet fitter to be available and the carpet to be in stock after ordering. Maybe a week or 10 days?

The way you spoke to him is disgusting.

ShatnersWig · 12/10/2017 08:54

Eh?

Handsfull13 · 12/10/2017 08:55

You are not in the wrong there.
If you couldn't know about it because the guy won't do estimates then fair enough. But the fact your OH won't ask is wrong, it can't hurt him to ask. Tell him to put his big boy pants on and find out when you get carpet

ijustwannadance · 12/10/2017 08:55

His responses are weird. Like he's trying to distract you. Is there a chance he has spent the cash and hasn't actually been to buy the carpet?

caringdenise009 · 12/10/2017 08:55

I think you are in the wrong. It takes about a week from ordering to fitting.

Original poster
Louiseop · 12/10/2017 08:55

The way I spoke to him is disgusting?
Seriously

OP posts:
Teawithtoast · 12/10/2017 08:56

Your partner is BU. I've always been given an estimated time for fitting from a carpet shop. If he's too scared to ask the carpet fitters for an estimate fitting period, maybe you can ask for him.

Original poster
Louiseop · 12/10/2017 08:56

All I wanted was a idea how long it would take.

OP posts:
DancesWithOtters · 12/10/2017 08:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FlandersRocks · 12/10/2017 08:57

This is ridiculous...sorry but if you need an AIBU over such a boring and uneventful non-conversation, I dread to think what happens if you have actual issues.

Teawithtoast · 12/10/2017 08:57

Being patronising is also disgusting.

NC4now · 12/10/2017 08:57

Err, yes. You are in the wrong. You spoke to him like a child and when you didn't get the answer you wanted you swore at him.

Original poster
Louiseop · 12/10/2017 08:57

About 7 months or so now.

OP posts:
tygr · 12/10/2017 08:58

Is the real issue here the money and the fact that he isn’t earning and that’s what’s being unspoken in this argument?

It seems an overreaction from both of you to a carpet fitting timescale.

Is the fact that you’re earning and it’s your money feeling threatening to him? Do you resent that he’s not bringing money in? Seem to be deeper issues at work here.

ShatnersWig · 12/10/2017 08:58

How long till someone says "if you were a man, OP, and told your partner to fuck off...."

Original poster
Louiseop · 12/10/2017 08:58

I didn't speak to him like a child.
He always try's to make me feel like a idiot asking the simplest of questions.

OP posts:
Mrstrumpalot · 12/10/2017 08:58

This ^^
Absolutely no reason why he can’t just ask.
I would be the same as you op. Would just like to have a rough idea when it might be. 5 days, 10 days, a month?

NC4now · 12/10/2017 08:58

It was quite a reasonable thing to want to know. You just went about it in an unreasonable way.

DancesWithOtters · 12/10/2017 08:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Teawithtoast · 12/10/2017 08:59

I'm not sure how the OP was unreasonable for asking valid questions?

Original poster
Louiseop · 12/10/2017 09:00

I probably shouldn't have swore but if someone is standing up in front of you,he try's to make me feel like a idiot and then didn't let me respond and as I was trying ..he goes
"Come on then you tell me how it works"
I lost my temper

OP posts:
Mrstrumpalot · 12/10/2017 09:00

Oh, thread has moved on since my response.
I was agreeing to handfuls response.

Bizzysocks · 12/10/2017 09:00

Do you like being in control of things generally?
It will likely be a week to 2 weeks.
I'm wondering if he feels you boss him about and is resisting this by being evasive.

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