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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am in the wrong here?

190 replies

Louiseop · 12/10/2017 08:49

Hello
Me and my partner have just moved into a new property.
I work full time and he is currently in between jobs.
I picked a carpet out and he liked it,so I gave him the money (over £1000) for him to go to the shop and pay for them.
Come home Tuesday all excited and ask when they being fitted ..."don't know"
Was his response.
Ok why don't you know?
The man needs to come down Thursday (today ) to double check the measurements.
This morning arrives...just left for work and I say
"At least we will know today when the carpets will be down"
His response ."no we won't"
So I ask why?
"He is just coming to double check measurements then I guess he will have to order carpet,he will probably ring me when he can"
So I got annoyed and said
"Well ask how long roughly before they are fitted)
He said .."I'm not asking that he will ring when he can"
So then I get annoyed and say
"What's the problem in asking for a rough estimate after we have just gave him over a grand"
So he raises his voice now and starts being patronising ...
"Ok then you tell me how carpet shops work,has Joe blogs got all these carpets lying around waiting for people to order,come on you tell me how it works"
I told him to fuck off and walked out.
All I wanted was a idea of how long it should be?

OP posts:
CredulousThickos · 12/10/2017 11:31

Have you rung the shop yet?

DancesWithOtters · 12/10/2017 11:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 12/10/2017 11:38

Ok, point 1 - 32 is definitely not "too old" to meet anyone new. I didn't meet DH until I was 36, to give you a pointer.

Point 2 - he's a wanker. There was no reason at all for him to be so painful in his responses - he just doesn't like you taking charge of anything, obviously.

Point 3 - was he like this before he became out of work? And just how hard is he actually looking for a new job, or does he now see you as his meal ticket, since you have this house?

Point 4 - please PLEASE tell me you're not going to marry this loser.

LunchBoxPolice · 12/10/2017 11:53

When I ordered carpet they just took my measurements and added 10% in case I had it wrong. Then I signed something to say they were going on my measurements.

He sounds like a bellend and I would be suspicious about what has happened to the 1k. Life is too short for this shit op. I laughed when you said you were 32 - you have so many years to be happy and meet someone else. No, you shouldn't have told him to fuck off. But I was in a similar relationship and in the end I lost it and told him to fuck off. (He did, and life is great now.)

chipscheeseandgravy · 12/10/2017 12:03

We bought our carpets from a national chain and I think the carpets had maybe a 2/3 day order on the ones we picked, some (the expensive once’s) were slightly longer.

If this is your reaction to a conversation about carpets, what’s it going to be like later down the line?

RunningOutOfCharge · 12/10/2017 12:06

So what does he do with himself? Does he gamble?

HotelEuphoria · 12/10/2017 12:06

So are you still holding the grand? Are you quite sure he hasn't dipped into it and is buying time.

I understand your frustration, how hard is it to ask the measure man what the estimated fitting time will be? or the man in the shop?

TBH, our local shop gives an estimate based on our measurements, gives a fitting date then comes in-between to check the measurements then you pay the agreed price and the carpet fitter separately when he comes.

Wallywobbles · 12/10/2017 12:09

I met my heroic DH2 at 43. And it’s great because we are so nice to each other having had shit first partners. Please get him to leave. Get a lodger if you are worried about being lonely.

Original poster
Louiseop · 12/10/2017 12:53

Sorry everyone I'm at work.
Basically he has said he is going to pop into shop this afternoon and ask what's going on.
If tonight I don't get a answer I'm pleased with I'm going to go in myself before work (if they are open)

OP posts:
CredulousThickos · 12/10/2017 12:59

Fgs just PHONE THEM.

Bluntness100 · 12/10/2017 13:00

Is he saying he’s given them the grand?

Call the shop and ask what’s going on. Why are you stalling? Is it because you are worried about what you will hear?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 12/10/2017 13:01

OP if you genuinely think you're too old to meet someone else then surely you'd be better off alone?!

This, this, a thousand times this!

Life is too short to be with someone who undermines you and belittles you and refuses to listen to your opinions and arguments but just ploughs on regardless as though you weren't even speaking.

People like this do not mellow over the years - they become more and more entrenched in their behaviour. If it upsets you now, in 5, 10, 15 years it will become unbearable and you will be as miserable as sin.

Maybe you shoulder-think your relationship, and what you want from it,

SchadenfreudePersonified · 12/10/2017 13:05

*Should re-think, not shoulder-think

And BTW - all the time you are with this loser, is time when you could have been out there, in the world, meeting Mr Right (as opposed to Mr Always-Right)

FizzyGreenWater · 12/10/2017 13:09

He won't have done it.

Call the shop now, and that will be an excellent reason to dump him.

usernameavailable · 12/10/2017 13:18

Would he really have taken the money? U can't just spend £1000 and expect a free carpet to turn up!

lettersAndNumbersOnly · 12/10/2017 13:19

You were rude and childish. Very unreasonable.

Original poster
Louiseop · 12/10/2017 13:32

I rang the shop.
He has bought the carpet.
Man on the phone said the fitters are out on a job and will ring me back.
Find that really unprofessional tbh that they said they would ring us and haven't bothered.
Still no idea when I'm getting my carpet.

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 12/10/2017 13:34

find that really unprofessional tbh that they said they would ring us and haven't bothered.

...as far as you know

MorrisZapp · 12/10/2017 13:39

Sorry but you're kind of bugging me too now. You've had endless responses about your relationship and you only want to talk about the carpet, and even that's in a minimal, reactive way.

Appuskidu · 12/10/2017 13:40

Did they confirm how much he'd paid??

BabsGanoush · 12/10/2017 13:53

Fitters are usually self employed. You have to pay them separately but the shop should do the booking in.

Mia1415 · 12/10/2017 13:53

Sorry OP but I have just spat my drink all over my desk at the fact you think that 32 is too old to meet anyone.

Life is too short! If you are unhappy in a relationship then end it.

Far better to be single than to be sworn at and afraid to talk properly.

BitOutOfPractice · 12/10/2017 13:59

I know MorrisZap. Apart from the massive drip feedswe've had (which are brief) OP still believes she has a carpet problem, not a DP problem, to slightly misquote an MN classic phrase

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 12/10/2017 15:32

Did you really, Mia? Really?

Allthebestnamesareused · 12/10/2017 15:51

62 square metres is a large carpet!! Are you doing the whole house?