Is this an Insane idea? Two babies under two?!

[Crazythoughts]

Hi all,

Name change as potentially outing!

My DH and I had our first baby 3 months ago and we’ve always wanted two children. We are considering trying for another in the new year, and if successful it would mean we’d have a newborn and a 17 month old. We could manage financially on DH wage, but I don’t know anyone other than my parents generation who have had two children very close together.

Am I insane to be considering this?!

My train of thought is as follows...

Pros:
⁃ Two siblings close in age so they can grow up together
⁃ We want two children and this way it’s ‘done’ in a short space of time
⁃ We’re already used to the sleep deprivation
⁃ Already set up for a baby
⁃ They would go to school within a year if each other so I could go back to work properly once they’re 4yrs without having to stagger a return

Cons:
⁃ Things will be tight financially for a couple of years
⁃ Obvious sleep deprivation will continue for some time
⁃ No family nearby so will be doing this pretty much by myself (apart from DH helping evenings/weekends) 24/7
⁃ Pregnant with a toddler!
⁃ Will be out of the workplace for 4 years
⁃ Whilst my LOs labour was very quick I’m apprehensive about giving birth again

I would really appreciate people’s comments/thoughts/ experiences who have done this or are thinking about doing this!

Thanks in advance xx

Its fab. Mine are 23 months apart. One school year apart, you get through each stage at the same time roughly. It was hectic, for a bit (fond memories of climbing into a tiny playhouse sitting on a comfy cushion and feeding baby while toddler fetched me books and we had a tea party). At 12 and 14 they help each other figure out their homework. A double buggy, preferably a basic fold up one, depending on your needs, is very helpful, but also things like buggy boards and baby slings.

Oh I forgot to mention we will have FOUR consecutive years of exams ahead of us - GCSEs x 2, then A levels x 2 . I might change my advice then.

Just thought of another positive; My youngest is very ahead for her age. She is not far behind my eldest in terms of development. Having a sister so close in age (12.5 months) has really brought her on. It's lovely to hear them chatting away and playing imaginative games together.

THeres a 20 month gap between my two and it’s worked well as they’ve grown up with each other and have had similar interests. They certainly have their moments but even now as teens they can find common ground (older girl, younger boy). It was hard at first though.

I have a 13 month gap between my twins and toddler....very hard but doable and life seems to go back to normal when the youngest is 6m+.
Routine is key.

Friend of mine wanted to get pregnant again when first child was 4 months. Husband wanted to wait little longer so dd2 was born when dd1 was 1 year and 3 months.
Her dd1 was a very easy child, slept through the night early, easyily weaned, very easygoing, not fussy at all.
Second pregnancy was without complications but friend was knackered nevertheless because she was caring for a baby / toddler all day.
DD2 was not as easy - loads of bellyaches, bad sleeper, all still totally normal but more on the high end of the needs scala.
Friend was completely knackered. Put DD1 in childcare after 3 months because she could not cope with two kids all day. DD1 got very very quiet and subdued. Friend was very unhappy. Felt she could not give DD1 enough attention. DD1 had to be the "big one" very early.
Now, 7 years later the girls play very nicely together and all is well.
Friend says she would not do it again with such a small age gapbecause she remembers the first year to have been mostly horrible.

I had my DDs 16mths apart and then had a third 2.5 years later, so had 3 aged 3 and under. That was brutal but only because the pregnancy with my 3rd was awful (due to Crohns) and I was very ill. Followed by three months with a baby who slept for an hour at a time if we were lucky, and screamed constantly the rest of the time. Once that passed, things weren't so bad!

I would wait a bit to decide. The 4 month sleep regression is coming. If baby is a bit fussy or distracted at the breast it might be why.

Loads of people do it (inc me, twice!)

It's great fun. My kids are all great friends.

I have an 18 month age gap. Initially it was fine but it's now (DD2 is 11 months) that I am seriously regretting my choice 😞

I have six children and each time there was less than 2 years age gap. Youngest 2 are 14 months apart

There is 11 months between mine.

I won't lie. I wouldn't do it again. Obviously it has its good times but for me it's mostly just stress.

Never again!

Two just under 18 months here. It was hard, although I had been back to work in between so we'd settled dc1 at nursery, so kept up 2 days which saved me a bit. Very tiring and we probably had c- beebies on a bit too holidays etc easier with a small age gap. Love the age gap now though, they're still both under four but adore each other. I'd definitely do it again. It does help to have the second whilst the first still has an afternoon nap as well.

My DD is 10 months and there is nothing that would make me do this again right now...I want to enjoy her and get to know her... sorry, but I just wouldn’t...

I have a 16 month gap between my first two & it was full on but we managed. It can't have been too bad because we had another less than two & a half years later. I had three under four for a couple of months.

My first two are ten months apart, had my third when my oldest was two and six weeks. They're 9, 10 and 11 now. In hindsight wish I had done it differently.

15 months between my two and it was planned!
My second child's first year was a blur. I can remember so much about my first child's first year but nothing of my second's.
However, they're generally very close. I love the fact that they are in the same playground at school. Their classroom's are next door, they do the same activities ie swimming, scouting. I like it that she I'm not there, they have each other and they look after each other.
If I had my time again, I wouldn't change a thing, except have one or two more close together.

Routine is key.

If you happen to have a baby that follows one...

This is one of those conundrums that can't be answered.
Some people have done it and it was easy/it suited their family. Others have and it was hell because Baby No 2 was very different from their sibling. Others wouldn't do it because they wanted a bigger gap for various reasons.

So you won't know really whether it's right until you do it - and then it's too late!

I also feel like I can't really remember my middle DC first year very much because of being pregnant and having a new born.

I know lots of people with 2 children under 2 and all have managed fine. Mine are a bit further apart (2 years 3 months) and ideally I’d have had a smaller gap.

I know someone who had 2 children under 1. Both were born in the same school year (the first in September and the second in August) which wasn’t ideal. I also know a couple who had 4 children under 2 (2 sets of twins)!

Do it. My dc are best best friends. A beautiful feeling and the best part of parenting.

I did it, by accident. DD1 was 6 months, I was BF, oops! Should have been 16 month gap, but DS arrived at 34wks.

It was really hard, trying to feed baby while toddler was into everything. I got through it, but I wouldn't recommend it (or having a third 30 months later!)

I have a bigger age gap between mine and couldn't honestly think of anything worse that small gap tbh, I have a standard split personality toddler and I can't comprehend being pregnant trying to deal with it all, as well as financially for us would have meant double childcare over £2k month 😮

Also I should caviat child 1 was a poor sleeper, I wouldn't have physically been able to manage pregnant and an hours sleep!!

I have a 17 month gap between my DS and DD and have always been really pleased that we didn’t leave it any longer before trying for a second baby. It’s been great at every age (although hard work during the nappy years!). They are one school year apart (DS just turned 12 and DD 10) and have such a great relationship. They argue lots but are very good friends :)