Strip clubs & Stag dos

[NotInMyBackYard1]

DH went on a stag do in the summer, one night away at a weekend, obvs he came back tired and hungover but said he'd had a good time and didn't go to bed until 630am. I asked which bars stayed open until then but was told they do in Liverpool (?) obviously I am very naive!
Have since found out they were all at a lap dancing club without the stag - he'd gone to bed at midnight. AIBU to think he's bloody disgusting and to have lost all respect for him - for lying by omission and for visiting a lap dancing club in the first place.

"I'm sorry, what don't I know?" Is that all you can come back with Skaross?

No, I can not ethically argue about the sex industry with an under 18 because of my job.

You then didn't read my posts carefully as you claimed if you didn't realise I was under 18. I'm arguing about strip clubs not "the sex industry" unless you think they're part of it. Anyway, I can only assume you don't care about the impact of strip clubs on girls growing up which is why you've attempted to belittle me and are now ignoring my points.

The lap dancing club wouldn't bother me, my DP has been when he went away on a warhammer weekend with the lads. I'm not a cool wife. But he's coming home to me, there's no harm in a bit of eye candy. There is one local strip club I'm not happy he go in, because it has a bad reputation and the women don't wear anything.

The issue is he is lying, you asked and he lied.

In this report a stripper says: "But for every at-peace-with-being-a-stripper woman, there are a dozen who suffer every day that they strap on their stilettos. And even worse, many continue to suffer the repercussions years after they leave the business." A dozen.

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/sheila-hageman/stripping-for-money_b_1181049.html

I actually thought you were 18, sorry ifI've missed the fact that you weren't. I cannot enter into this debate anymore. Good luck with your A-levels.

It would be more positive if you could at least think about why some girls of my age and younger might feel so strongly about strip clubs I've spent so long debating on this thread.

So in this Disney style fantasy, when these strippers don't have jobs, homes or money because strip clubs are banned, are you going to pay all of their bills for them?

Does your compassion end at closing down their place of employment?

I don't think you truly care about these women as much as you say you do. I think you care about getting the last word in on an anonymous forum. Just a theory.

"This article focuses on the use of psychotherapy with women working in the sex industry, whether indoor (such as strip clubs and cabarets) or outdoor (such as prostitution and escort services). These women frequently experience violence in various forms, and most report multiple traumatic experiences, both during their developmental years and while working in the industry."

Essentially backs up what I said about strip clubs yet pp2017 responded she had no words... and Skaross couldn't engage with make believe . Bizarre lack of understanding of the situation.

[[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3508959/]]

That's a facile argument Nancy.

@NoLoveofMine

I also know that strip clubs have a huge detrimental effect on the lives of many girls and women. It's the final point which has been ignored by the majority of fans of strip clubs

I haven’t ignored you - I agree with you entirely on this point (I think we perhaps just mutually agree to disagree on how it should be addressed 😊)

But I’m glad that you have put your points across very well and not personally attacked anyone nor done it in the derogatory way that some other posters have chose to !

oh, like you've been all sweetness and light to me pp2017? And yes I stand by what I've said. You're a consumer in the sex industry and you're part of the problem so I do look down on you. Sorry.

Thanks pp2017. I feel hugely strongly on this and have for some years now. I truly hate strip clubs for many reasons and find them so demeaning and as I've posted a daily reminder of my ultimate worth to society. I am far from alone amongst girls at my school. I'd happily discuss this further with you but this particular thread is frustrating as I've said. Thanks for your comments on my posts as well.

@annielouise

I have read your posts but surely you can see that it’s a bit of a leap from prostitutes having a background of child abuse to strippers only doing it because they have self esteem issues and also must have been abused?

Dancing in a strip club and prostitution are are two entirely different things so why compare them in the context of this debate, which is about STRIP CLUBS AND STAG DOS?

(and please don’t be offended if I tell you to fuck off for repeatedly calling me stupid)

@annielouise

So I not only do I think that I’m a “Cool Wife” but I’m “Stupid” and you look down on me....

and why? Because my opinion and lifestyle choices don’t sit well with you.

Am I the only one who sees the irony in a grown woman behaving this way towards me after bleating about women being treated equally and not abused, and how our feelings matter? 😳

I never said strippers only do it because they have self-esteem issues and might have been abused. I said some, if not many, but not all. I never said all. And the reports I've posted have backed this up - look at the last one! Your initial response to this was you had no words as if I'm speaking out my arse, when the facts are there. Can you see how obtuse you're being?

You're not reading what I'm posting - i'm giving you facts and evidence! The last report I linked to says "These women frequently experience violence in various forms, and most report multiple traumatic experiences, both during their developmental years and while working in the industry." And it included strip clubs and cabaret, so my point stands! Please, read it carefully. Your comprehension is lacking.

Do you want me to look up the number of strippers that end up as prostitutes or in your lalaland does that not happen ever? Do some research and open your eyes, fgs!

Imagine this scenario. A woman starts stripping. She has to for the money. To cope she starts taking coke. Then she gets into trouble for not performing well at work and is not bringing in the money. So the boss gets on to her, applies some pressure. She's already rubbing her vulva up against men or their fucking her with their fingers so she thinks I might as well get more money from sleeping with them. It's a slippery slope. For some, not all. If you don't think that happens you're on another planet. Fgs. You're unbelievably naive or stupid. I just can't tell.

Telling me to fuck off - nice!

You're possibly complicit in the abuse of women, you're own sex. I do look down on your for that. Along with the men that do it. You know about it now. It's not just me that's pointed it out to you what this industry is about. Yet you're determined to justify it. So I can't respect someone that continues to knowingly play a part in behaviour that might be damaging other women. Own it.

Everyone's feelings do matter. But not when you're playing a part in the sex industry. You're not an innocent by-stander. You have a responsibility to others that you are choosing to ignore so forgive me for not giving a shiny shit about your feelings.

Oh naive thrown into the mix now too! 😂

Nowhere have I said these atrocities you are quoting don’t exist, in fact on a previous post I’ve acknowledged they exist and said that they absolutely need to be addressed.....

oh hahahaha it's so light and amusing the whole thing, isn't it.

Yes, and I repeat you being a consumer are creating the demand which means the supply might be vulnerable women. By not going to strip clubs you'll be doing your own little bit in addressing that.

Well imagine my surprise when I get a text from Skaros telling me people on here don't exist!

Happy ex-stripper here.

No abuse
Not trafficked
Not exploited
Never felt demeaned
Good stable family
No self-esteem issues
No regrets

and why? Because my opinion and lifestyle choices don’t sit well with you.

Probably because your lifestyle choices affect other women very negatively.

Good for you! You seem to have missed the point that not everyone has the same experience.

RestlessTraveller why don't you engage with my points. Someone who has never contradicted anything you've said (in fact have posted saying things along those lines despite it being an attempt to derail the thread) but posted about why I and many girls I know absolutely hate strip clubs.

As mentioned before, a strip club the person I know worked at 50% of the strippers offered extras, making them prostitutes. She worked in a few, including a more “up market” one which was just as bad if not worse

So it certainly isn’t that strip clubs are for looking only

Just making the point that stripper and prostitute aren’t mutually exclusive!

Sorry, "people on here don't think I exist." Is what I meant to type! (Wind taken out of my sails somewhat)