Strip clubs & Stag dos

[NotInMyBackYard1]

DH went on a stag do in the summer, one night away at a weekend, obvs he came back tired and hungover but said he'd had a good time and didn't go to bed until 630am. I asked which bars stayed open until then but was told they do in Liverpool (?) obviously I am very naive!
Have since found out they were all at a lap dancing club without the stag - he'd gone to bed at midnight. AIBU to think he's bloody disgusting and to have lost all respect for him - for lying by omission and for visiting a lap dancing club in the first place.

Careful @RestlessTraveller you and your imaginary stripper friends will be name called.....

😂

Yes, KenBarlow, and escorts only have dinner and a dance with men . Of course they're not mutually exclusive as pp2017 likes to think.

Unhappy girl who has to go to school a minute from a strip club here. Do feel demeaned. Girls have been harassed by customers. Harms our self-esteem and self-worth. Hate strip clubs.

I suppose it makes it easier for her to justify what she and her DH do.

annalouise that's really funny because I thought exactly the same as you!

NoLove I have no issue with your points. I have issues with people telling me my experience isn't real*

Well no pp2017 as you said yourself a moment ago I haven't name called anyone. I have been belittled and dismissed by RestlessTraveller's (presumably since they texted her) friend and others though.

No pp2017, I'm not down on the strippers. You've got that wrong. I'm down on the punters.

I know pp2017 complete figments of everybody's imagination! The worst kind of stripper!

Even though it was an attempt to derail this thread I said from near the start of it my opinion is most women who work in strip clubs choose to. I've repeated that this evening. If you have no issue with my points then why can you not address them? It's so frustrating and makes me feel you don't care at all. As a big supporter of the industry I find that quite upsetting.

What a suprise, still insults to the people who dint agree.
How do you actually think you are going to make people understand if you constantly belittle and mock?
(nolove not included)

I have far from said your experience isn't real but in ignoring my points you, your friend and others are pretty much invalidating my experiences and those of girls I know.

But the odd voice here and there doesn't mean anything restlesstraveller . No one has denied that. And all the links I've posted say otherwise - surveys of a bigger sample than just your experience.

It's very hard to be nothing but polite to women who exploit women.

I don't respect that and I see no reason why anyone should be polite in our disgust. Not that you pp have been all sweetness and smiles yourself.

As MN threads go this is pretty tame.

To be honest, I don't actually want to get into an argument with you. I feel you've made your points very well. I think that there needs to be industry regulations to work towards the exploitation and I think there's something to be said for ensuring that clubs aren't near schools.

It's not about the strippers on here. I'm sure you are being nothing but honest about your experiences. But it isn't about you.

"Assuming you’re being serious and not sarcastic, this is exactly what I’ve been trying to say - as long as there is demand and WILLING supply then shouldn’t we be campaigning for better regulation and control not demanding it all be stopped, right now...."

OK. What are you, as a user, doing to campaign for better regulation and control? And in the meantime, what are you doing to ensure that the clubs you go to don't use exploited women?

annalouise you categorically denied it in your answer to skaros question about whether you believe women like me exist.

So that's a no to actually tangibly helping these women then Annie...

I don't think complaining on mumsnet will help. Men that visit strip clubs aren't regulars on mumsnet, I reckon. I don't see them reading your posts and being appalled and never going again. I don't see any strippers saying they'll be cancelling their shift because of your ranting.

It's all just words isn't it, otherwise get petitioning for the clubs to be closed down. Go to the clubs and tell the strippers and men that what they are doing is wrong.

Don't talk the talk if you can't walk the walk...

"Careful @RestlessTraveller you and your imaginary stripper friends will be name called..... "

No she won't.

But in the meantime until that's done women will suffer and those going to them contribute to that. Regardless, even if it is 'empowering' for some, for many it isn't (one link said for every one that's at peace with it a stripper who was quoted felt 12 others weren't). So how can any man, or woman in the case of pp2017, justify going? Knowing that you're watching a woman that might not be happy with what she's doing. Even if she's done it through her choice. I don't know. I can't respect those kind of people.

I don't want an argument. I want people to just empathise, so I'm glad if you are doing a little.

Them being near schools definitely shouldn't be allowed but that they are and despite numerous objections the licence was renewed shows an issue - this wouldn't happen if the clubs didn't exist. The girls I know who were harassed by men on their way there would not have suffered that form of harassment without the club. The man who once commented on my breasts and said I should be working in one wouldn't have said that without strip clubs. It's the wider culture and, sorry for the lack of eloquence, but I just hate it. I find the club in question demeaning and degrading daily and have done for years. It's a daily reminder of how many men see us and what our worth will always be in society no matter how hard we work, no matter our ambitions, no matter what we achieve. That I can never escape this culture infuriates me. That young girls continue to grow up in it saddens and enrages me. The idea I'd ever be in a workplace in future where it was acceptable for work nights out to involve one worries and demeans me.

Thanks for your comments on how I've made my points.

No restlesstraveller I didn't. I didn't say all were abused and unhappy. I said many. Please don't start accusing me of stuff. And again, how do we all know you are? You chose that job for whatever reason. Perhaps you justified it to yourself as a means to an end, whatever. Perhaps you put on a brave face. Even if you deny that here how do we know? And again you're just one. We're not talking about individuals, the concern is the whole.

Them being near schools definitely shouldn't be allowed
No, i thought they had to be a certain amount away?

Nancy91 you have refused to engage with any of my points and continue to mock. Hugely frustrating. How do you suggest my friends and I "walk the walk"? Go and stand by a strip club putting us at risk of more harassment and possibly worse from the men who go? Right.

No, Nancy it's not a no. But I think it's a job for politicians, government advisors etc. What do you want me to do? You can't argue to keep strip clubs just because they offer employment (of a kind)!