Ponytail

[caffeineandcalpol]

So here it goes.
DD is 19 months old and attends a Montessori nursery. I wanted her to go here as I liked their teachings and I let as though the children could be themselves, free sprites that kind of thing.
DP picked her up with a tacky high pony tail in. Now, DD has the craziest hair around , it's wild , curly, had a life of its own, a bit like DD . It's just her. She will never ever let me put a slide in or do anything with it, complete little wild child.
I don't see why they tied it up?? It's not in her way, it's short and I feel as though she has been treated like a doll for the entertainment of the staff.AIBU if I complain?

Your mad.

I'm trying to visualise the ponytail too. Was it a ponytail where only the top of it was tied up and most of it was down?

I know what you mean OP. Brushing hair can be seen as a personal thing.

I'm reading from your post that you think your DD has beautiful hair and it is a shame to tie it up and hide it? I often thought that about my own curly haired daughter when she was two. She looked very cute with a curly mop of curls and quite grown up with a little ponytail.

I wouldn't imagine your DD missed much playtime because the nursery staff tied up her hair. At most five or six minutes surely.

Personally I'd be concerned about what brush they used and if they use the same brush for all the children. We had nits earlier this year and they are bloody awful things to get rid of and I dread them

Headlice is a huge problem and it might be a really good idea to tie it up yourself in the mornings and spray protective spray on it because if your DD has tight curls, she will not appreciate a nitty gritty comb!

You need to watch the news or something to gain some perspective

My dd also has curly wild hair so I'm struggling to see how they would have got it into a ponytail if it's was short as you say it is. Anyway I doubt they held her down and did it so just ask them next time you take her in. Also you may think the whole wild crazy hair cause she's just so crazy and i dont want to tame her thing is endearing but in reality wild crazy hair in a nursery usually means paint, jam and nits.

What's a tacky high ponytail?

Why did you mention Montessori?

Why did you mention Montessori?

Out of interest why not?

Nursery/creche/playschool/preschool/montessori.
Everybody calls it a different thing depending on where they are from and where their child attends don't they?

OP just ask them.

I realise you may be still in PFB mode but you have a long number of years ahead of dealing with school / teachers/ other parents. It will be easier if you learn now to just chill out a bit. It's just a ponytail.

Montressori is a specific sort of education though wildrose and is generally a buzz word on MN, can set threads right off on a tangent

For those asking how it was tied up......
It was one of those where the top part is literally pulled tight with in an inch of its life and sat on top like a bloody pineapple.

Also I do have other things to worry about guys , cheers
Was just a question

Montressori is a specific sort of education though wildrose and is generally a buzz word on MN, can set threads right off on a tangent

Why?

I sent my kids to one. Its child led but for preschool age children, I doubt there is anything spectacularly different than any other sort of 2-4 year old's 'education' as they all learn through play surely. On the other hand, I'd love to have the funds to send my children to a montessori primary school where I believe the real benefit would be, but sadly I don't.

OP you need to post in Chat if it's just a question. If you post in AIBU everyone assumes you're apoplectic!

Haha quite possibly. I should have put more in the post, however I was rushing and ranting

wildrose

I don't really know, but it does. My child is not yet school age, I'm looking at all the options the city I live in has to offer. However - Montressori, dogs, formula vs breastfeeding - buzz word terms that almost always set threads off into a bunfight.

The very last thing my mind would land on would be a teacher taking the time out of teaching a room full of toddlers to play with somebody's hair, "dolling her up" for their own entertainment. If it's something that she hates and screams and wriggles and won't let you do it, why would the teacher make her cry and get grumpy and struggle with her, just for the fun of it?

I would expect they were doing some activity that they thought could get her hair messy or get it caught in something. Possibly another kid was pulling at it or something and they pulled it back for her protection. Or maybe they thought that it was getting in the way of something. There has to be a practical reason for a teacher to take their time and attention away from the class to struggle with her hair.

But if you're so uncomfortable with the idea and you really want to know why they would do that... just talk to them? Let them know that she doesn't like her hair pulled back and/or you don't want them to do that, and then ask them why they did it. Simple as.

There's got to be more to this story...

Or the complete opposite...

Children let others do what they refuse to let parents do.

Pineapple pony tail sounds cute.
My dd had short straight hair that wouldn't grow. But she loved hair stuff.

That "dolly" remark is off the mark. If you think that the workers are that way, you either have an inflated sense of self and daughter or a dirty mind. Maybe that is your idea of your daughter. My mother was a child minder. It is work.

Wild, crazy, is not the same as funny and independent. Wild and crazy translates to spoiled. No matter how delayed she is, that won't be good in the coming years.

If you go in to complain you will definitely be branded as ' that parent'

Why would they want to tie it up if it's that curly, that it only sticks out one inch??? That's shorter than any bob hairstyle, there's no way hair that short is going to "get in the way".

Pulling curly hair into a tight topknot can also be quite painful, and as someone's already pointed out, was a communal brush used?

Can I ask how is your child so wild if she can't move or talk?

Do you really think staff looking after loads of kids ALL DAY EVERY DAY dream of treating one like a doll, do you think they get some sort of enjoyment out of doing their hair rather than just thinking 'oh god I wonder if this one has nitts? Because believe me after a few months of working with nursery kids you don't want any yourself let along to mess around with ones hair. Maybe they did it because they thought you might think it was sweet, how knows, who cares, get a grip. If you are going to fuss over every little thing and micromanage maybe you should home school where you can get exactly what you want.

@NameChangeFamousFolk

OP is DD black or mixed race? Is her hair afro? If it is then they really shouldn't be messing with her hair at all.

If it isn't, they STILL shouldn't in my opinion.