To not want my Daughters boyfriend here every weekend?

[SoCockneyItHurts]

Just that really....he lives about 100 odd miles away from us and he comes to us on a Friday night til Sunday night. DD is 19 and they've been together over 2 years. She will sometimes go to his but they're here more. I'm fed up with it every weekend but feel horrible saying it to her as she takes immediate offence! I'm feeling particularly fed up at the moment anyway which isn't helping. The noise this morning got to me (they were play fighting with DS who is 7) and I lost my temper and told her to "grow up". They've now gone out and I heard her say to her Dad "we're going out as don't want to be in this negative miserable house"!! Or is it me??

It's you

What is it you don't like? If he's a decent, normal guy, then after two years does he not feel like part of the family? Or do you feel like he's a guest that you have to do things for?

I'd be the same OP. I'm very introverted so get stressed out if there are people here. Every weekend would piss me right off.

Tell her to move out if you can't stand it.

Sorry but it's you.

I have DD and her boyfriend here any night they like sometimes they're at his house sometimes they're here.

View him like a member of the family not a visitor is my advice.

I sent the puppy in at 8am to wake them because it's her pup and I'm not getting g up early every day.

But then. I'm evilllllll. 😜

Your example doesn't seem too bad - they were tigging about with a younger sibling?

But I can see that it might be a bit annoying having another adult in your house every weekend.

He's a lovely lad but they're loud and I don't know......I just enjoy a weekend free of it now and then. DH and I get no time alone together. He works nights so is only here at the weekend but we can't be intimate as they would hear everything. Maybe it is me....I just feel so down at the moment and everything is irritating the life out of me. Maybe I should go see doc??

At 19 she was playing with her 7 year old brother? Not ignoring him? Entertaining him?

She has a steady boyfriend. Sees him at weekends. Presumably therefore one or both studies or works during the week?

Could be way worse

It's a bit harsh to tell them off for playing with your 7yo tbh.

When you say you're feeling particularly fed up at the moment, what is it that you're fed up about? Is there other stuff going on in your life that makes it difficult for you to have dd's boyfriend to stay? Are you depressed?

I think it sounds quite sweet that they want to spend so much time with you and your family, but I guess it depends what else is going on for you at the moment.

Put the radio on in the bedroom or give them a tenner and send them all to a spoons for breakfast.

Why would it be the OP? I wouldn't want someone in my house every single weekend.

X post OP. If you're feeling really down, then yes, it might be worth talking to your GP.

He's not "someone". He's not some Random she picked up off the street for a ONS. He's a relatively long term fixture.

I'm with you OP - most weekends? No - talk to her about a more equal share. I take it they haven't got their own 'wing' ?

Sorry, I am on your side, OP. Your house is not a social club, there's nothing wrong with wanting a bit of peace or privacy. 19 is a difficult age, it's a bit young yet to expect her to leave home, but maybe she could start going to his house at the weekend a bit more often.

I had son's girlfriend living with me for 7 years and I felt too guilty to say anything, I should have put my foot down at the beginning. It's great if some people like a house full of young people, but there's no automatic response that says you're not allowed to enjoy peace with your OH in your own home.

Thank you.....i am starting to think it must be me. Maybe I am a bit depressed. I've gave up drinking 6 weeks ago for my own benefit and health, wellbeing etc but it's made me feel like I've turned into a boring miserable old fart! But I don't want to drink.....but I don't want to be a miserable boring old fart either!

But if you have a 7 yo, surely you wouldn't have alone time even if they weren't there?

How about a deal where they take him to the cinema every Saturday morning for the cheap kids' flicks, and then you and DH get some alone time?

Possible that you do need to see a doc. 19 is old enough to spend time with your 7 year old and any other kids you might have. Might be worth apologising to your daughter and explaining to her that you're not feeling yourself at the minute, ask her if she and her boyfriend can take the younger kid/s out for a day so you can have some time with your DH. If you don't think that will help I suggest you look into finding the problem. I don't think the problem is your daughter if you've gone as far as to be nasty to her for playing with her little brother

Bung them cinema or something money, get them to take your DC out for the day.
Saying that, I do know where you are coming from, when dd used to have her bf here all weekend, every weekend, I felt I couldn't relax.

no not just you
every weekend?

when do you get to lie on the sofa in your pjs? Have an argument with your dh?

He's NOT a member of the family. I don't care how long they've been together. You can't relax properly in your own home when there is someone else there all the time.

Plus-are you paying to feed him all weekend, every weekend??

Or perhaps she can look after them whilst you and your DH spend a night away... in a hotel... no kids... trip to Ann summers perhaps?

A 19 and her bf willing to give time to her younger brother? You've got winners there. Be careful what you wish for.

Watch out because the next thing you know she'll have moved him in full time and then turn all nasty to you if you dare to say anything about it.

Thanks again....she made him cry while play fighting, he's a bit complex my little boy so it was all a bit high drama! I guess there are opportunities I could make to spend time with DH but it's just sorting it and doing it. Plus my little boy has some health issues at present so I wouldn't want to leave him. I think it's me....DH is a good man, he's currently downstairs making me breakfast in bed but I still feel like shit. I'm doing a big roast later today, eldest DS is coming over but again I just have no enthusiasm for it and can't wait til bed time!!!!!! How sad am I??

I can see where you're coming from I'd be a bit pissed off every weekend as I like to get on with stuff sometimes..but you were awful to have a go at them for playing g with your 7 year old I think that's really lovely.