To not want my Daughters boyfriend here every weekend?

[SoCockneyItHurts]

Just that really....he lives about 100 odd miles away from us and he comes to us on a Friday night til Sunday night. DD is 19 and they've been together over 2 years. She will sometimes go to his but they're here more. I'm fed up with it every weekend but feel horrible saying it to her as she takes immediate offence! I'm feeling particularly fed up at the moment anyway which isn't helping. The noise this morning got to me (they were play fighting with DS who is 7) and I lost my temper and told her to "grow up". They've now gone out and I heard her say to her Dad "we're going out as don't want to be in this negative miserable house"!! Or is it me??

jelly no 'thank you', that is crap!

I do empathise with you. At that age they'll be at it like rabbits (at least I was at that age). Quietly! Whereas DP & I are not able to be quite so quiet therefore frustrated. Not really surprising to let loose on your teenagers. Maybe go away for the weekend and let them look after DS7, it's what you could do with

YANBU - you need your space.

But think on; it could be so much worse; at least it is the same boy she is with every weekend, you know where she is, and you know she is safe.

I would have a chat with her and get her to see it from your side. It's your house and she maybe needs to put herself in your shoes. You do sound rather down though so try to be a bit positive with her - but be firm. It's your house after all. Good luck 😜

Op, sorry for the late post, but just read this last message and yes you DO need to go and see a doctor. "Waiting for bed time" and "No enthusiasm" to spend time with people you know you love are crystal clear early signs of depression. Please go! I've been there

I know exactly what you mean, I have my son's girlfriend around, and my 2 step-sons girlfriends around. feels like there is NEVER any privacy!!

Wow both my partners parents and my parents were the same. I used to go to his 5 days a week for the evening and then he'd come to mine 2 days on the weekend and stay over. They always hated it. We did it for 6/7 years until I got pregnant at 21/22 and moved out. 2 years later and they want us over visiting all the time lol. I'd say just set some rules, like he must provide his own food and keep the noise down. I had those kind of rules and stuck to them out of respect for my partners parents (I was 16 at the beginning, not 19 though). But just remember they're still young and in love, don't be too hard on them unless they're really out of line. I'd be so happy if someone was willing to travel 100 miles for my daughter, he must really enjoy her company. I know it must suck because as a parent now I understand you want alone time but it won't last forever and if all goes well they'll move out like I did and you'll have all the alone time and space you want.

OP hope you are OK.

YANBU. Having an effective stranger round every weekend is beyond ridiculous.

It's probably time for her to move out. It sounds like she's old enough that she should be acting like an adult (and you should treat her like one) but because she still lives with you she behaves like a child (and you treat her like one).

I do think going to a local uni whilst staying at home must be quite difficult. Whilst most of her peers would be gaining independence and spreading their wings she's still living at home having to abide by your rules. Could she look at moving to a different uni a bit further away?

You do sound very unhappy. I hope you get everything sorted.