AIBU to want to cut Christmas visit short.

[SemolinaSilkpaws]

DSis has decided for the umpteenth year she wants to spend Christmas with us. From past experience she will arrive around 22nd December and not go until 3rd/4th January. She will sit and criticise everyone and everything, arrive with very little or nothing as a contribution, sulk because she has received less presents than everyone else and be rude to us and any friends or neighbours who we invite in for drinks. She also resents anyone phoning us. One comment made last year was we should turn the phone off at 8pm as 'she' wants to watch TV.

We moved house earlier this year and really want Christmas on our own. This I know is selfish as she is on her own after several failed relationships and alienating many of her friends. For that reason I feel I should have her for the actual Christmas period. WIBU to tell her we are away until 23rd and then going to friends between Christmas and New Year. I suspect she will want to housesit for us which isn't happening either.

Hi All

Have been enjoying a quiet weekend away with a couple of friends so haven’t been Mumsnetting.

There has been complete silence from her all weekend. This is usual, up to a couple of weeks of no contact from her then she will come back as if nothing has happened. This could mean she has forgotten what has been said or doesn’t believe we mean it so there may be round 2 to come.

I have a relative like this. It's very ... trying! I bet she still turns up Xmas Day though.

I suspect that she will either guilt trip you into having her over or just turn up on the day

Part of me feels bad that she’s spending xmas alone now, but at the same time everyone has their breaking point and she sounds like a toxic family member. Hope it works out for you

Semolina, you are getting the silent treatment, quite common for narcissists to do this. They want you to beg, reverse your decision, etc. When there is no reply they come back to you as if nothing has happened and expect everything to be the way it was and for you to be grateful, because they chose to 'forgive' you.

There will definitely be round 2 and probably several more. Hold firm! I would make a plan with your aunt for Christmas Day, be it going over to hers before lunch out, switching off phones etc and anything else you can think of such as a walk after the lunch, so that you are not at home if SIS does try to turn up. But I think you said she would have difficulty from 25 miles away with no transport, and no friends to give her a lift? Although she may try Christmas Eve?

OP-you haven't said how she normally gets to you? Is she likely to just turn up on your doorstep on Christmas Eve?

Isn't it a shame you'll be out all day Christmas Eve?