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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to cut Christmas visit short.

207 replies

SemolinaSilkpaws · 26/09/2017 09:39

DSis has decided for the umpteenth year she wants to spend Christmas with us. From past experience she will arrive around 22nd December and not go until 3rd/4th January. She will sit and criticise everyone and everything, arrive with very little or nothing as a contribution, sulk because she has received less presents than everyone else and be rude to us and any friends or neighbours who we invite in for drinks. She also resents anyone phoning us. One comment made last year was we should turn the phone off at 8pm as 'she' wants to watch TV.

We moved house earlier this year and really want Christmas on our own. This I know is selfish as she is on her own after several failed relationships and alienating many of her friends. For that reason I feel I should have her for the actual Christmas period. WIBU to tell her we are away until 23rd and then going to friends between Christmas and New Year. I suspect she will want to housesit for us which isn't happening either.

OP posts:
sunnydalegottobedone · 28/09/2017 20:38

Just awesome, your aunt sounds fabulous. Stay firm and look forward to a lovely Christmas.

GlitteryFluff · 28/09/2017 20:39

Well done to you and DH for sticking up for yourselves.

Appuskidu · 28/09/2017 20:41

What a selfish and unpleasant person! I'm surprised you haven't said something before!

Original poster
SemolinaSilkpaws · 28/09/2017 20:44

I am upset about this which of course is what she wants. Would suit her very well for there to be war and me have to take sides between her and DP. DP gets my vote everytime for this.

OP posts:
sunnydalegottobedone · 28/09/2017 20:48

Should have said before - your DP is also awesome. Stay firm and don't fold.

girlywhirly · 28/09/2017 20:53

Yes!! Brilliant result for you, although as you say it may not be the last you hear of it. However, you must stand firm and not give in if CFSIS rings again to have another go. Sadly, it is the only way to get through to her how appalling her behaviour is.

I'm sure you'll have a lovely time with your Aunt out to Christmas lunch, and it sounds as though a Boxing Day party will be just the job!

DartmoorDoughnut · 28/09/2017 20:57

Well done your DH! And your Aunt sounds awesome too, Christmas with no cooking and no sis, whoop!

Imbroglio · 28/09/2017 20:57

Ah. You must feel really sad that your sister has taken it this way, even though you expected it. It sounds as if your aunt is 100% behind you which says a lot.

Flowers
thatdearoctopus · 28/09/2017 21:05

I'm staggered by her rudeness and entitlement. Good on your dh for putting her straight. But I agree you've not heard the last of this.

LazyDailyMailJournos · 28/09/2017 21:07

Well done to your DP. DO NOT BACK DOWN.

PoshPenny · 28/09/2017 21:11

Well done to your DP for un-inviting her and your aunt sounds lovely. I think you're all going to have a lovely Christmas this year without your sister being there to wreck it. Stay strong, this sounds like it's been a long time coming from what you've written on this post.

ohfourfoxache · 28/09/2017 21:23

What a spoiled little brat Shock

Sounds like it couldn't have turned out much better - at least you won't have to put up with her at all.

What did she say when dp rescinded her invite?

SonicBoomBoom · 28/09/2017 21:28

Well done standing up for yourself.

Pemba · 28/09/2017 21:30

Excellent result -hopefully you can enjoy your Christmas in peace now. I also think she may come back to you and try guilt-tripping you - but stay strong OP!

IggyAce · 28/09/2017 21:33

Great result, just stay strong. You Aunt sounds lovely.

ny20005 · 28/09/2017 21:37

Brilliant ! Stay strong & enjoy your first wonderful Christmas xx

Appuskidu · 28/09/2017 22:11

She's annoyed you both so much after one short phone call that your DH has told her Christmas is off but you have had her to stay for 2 weeks every Christmas for years and not got into a row! How did you manage it?!

Maelstrop · 28/09/2017 22:20

Stick to your guns, Semolina. Think of the years of blissful Christmases ahead! Don't let her bully you anymore. I'm appalled that she thinks shouting and swearing to you will have her invitation to your house guaranteed! Duh!

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 28/09/2017 23:02

Well bloody done.
LOVE your DP and aunt. They sound awesome.

I can't believe your sister is in her forties. Sorry she behaves worse than my toddler (though he has his moments....!)

Have a fabulous Christmas!

CatsOclock · 28/09/2017 23:12

Well done, OP! (I'm a little bit in love with your partner after that!)

Word of warning: ime, people like her love the drama, which means that you've potentially got 3 months of this nonsense ahead of you, unless you stick to your guns. Don't allow her to engage you in any more nonsense. Be straight, honest and specific in any conversations - less is more.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 28/09/2017 23:21

Your aunt sounds amazing. Hope you all have a lovely time.

Whilst I think you are being completely reasonable about this, and I think the advice you've been given and acted on has been superb on this thread, there is a bit of me that does feel sorry for your CFSis. I do get it that for her it IS a family tradition that she's with you all that time.

I think what happens next is down to her.... if she stays in a rage and "it's all so mean" then fine. But I hope that once she's calmed down, if she's prepared to apologise for her rudeness to you, and understand the new tradition which you're starting now, that she is able to come and spend a couple of days with you.

Being a proper contributor, of course.

But whatever happens, I think you've handled things really well, with fantastic support from your DH and aunt. I hope it ends up as a win/win for you all.

Hissy · 28/09/2017 23:31

Oh yes... don’t kid yourself that this is over...

Your dp was wonderful tho... let him deal with her if —when— she gets nasty

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 28/09/2017 23:52

Well done you. Result!

2rebecca · 29/09/2017 00:07

Excellent, I'm amazed at her trying to tell you how long she expects to come for, she sounds more like an entitled parent than a sibling. She hasn't got the fact that family traditions change when you marry and your family changes.

gingergenius · 29/09/2017 07:47

Sounds like a great result and DAunt sounds lovely and well done DP for standing up to CFSis. X

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