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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bring to your attention this common faux pas

259 replies

Oldatheart91 · 25/09/2017 20:05

I am 26 years old and look considerably younger, think 16-18, and if I had a pound for every conversation Ive had about how young I am I would retire a happy lady.

Now I understand I look young, I accept that even now I will get ID'd for everything (even scratch cards!) BUT when i show you my ID i dont want to have to then stand there for actual long minutes whilst you tell me what I already know!

Yes I dont look my age. Yes I have been told that. Yes I dont look old enough to have a baby, run a house, do a weekly shop etc. And NO I will not be happy about it when Im 50!

I think random comments can be forgiven to an extent but from people who you have showed an ID to its just plain rude. It would be like a slimming world instructor raving to class about how you are the fattest lass yet! But still random comments, probably not welcome when people are doing ordinary things like standing at a bus stop or doing the weekly shop.

So in summary, i think any comment about how someone looks TOO anything (old, young, fat, thin etc.) is just rude and although you may think you are being nice you may infact be rubbing someones biggest insecurity in their face.

OP posts:
Whambarsarentasfizzyastheywere · 25/09/2017 20:08

It's just chit chat Confused

Cynara · 25/09/2017 20:10

It's not rude. It's friendly smalltalk.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 25/09/2017 20:12

I agree.

I get it.

It's rude and fucking annoying.

HoneyBoo269 · 25/09/2017 20:15

I'm mid-20s, was told at the doctors the other day I had to see the doctor not the nurse as I was under 16 Hmm not sure who was more embarrassed!

I think it's like anything that you get told a lot, it becomes really wearing. But I would much rather that than people thinking I'm twice my age!

TheQueenSnortsAvocados · 25/09/2017 20:16

I agree. It is NEVER okay to pass comment on another person's appearance, and just because we are socialised to find certain qualities more appealing, attractive, or acceptable, still does not make it okay.

I say this as someone who was weight-conscious as a teenager, and constantly (yes, daily) facing, "you're so skinny how do you do it?"

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 25/09/2017 20:16

I got this all the time when I was younger. It's just boring and tiresome to be told constantly that you don't look old enough. I don't think it's rude though.

I'm 51 now and it still happens, though not as much.

Original poster
Oldatheart91 · 25/09/2017 20:16

Thank you kingjoffrey I understand they are trying to be nice but its really not and again i can live with A comment but dont try and have a whole conversation with me about it!

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 25/09/2017 20:17

I used to get this a lot . Fed up with salespeople asking "is your mum in?" When I answered the door. I'm now that 50 year old and am invisible Grin hurrah

monkeysox · 25/09/2017 20:18

Still get id'd occasionally and I'm nearer to 40. It becomes less frequent so make the most of it!

Original poster
Oldatheart91 · 25/09/2017 20:18

Yes queen its the daily grind of i think.
Maybe IABU but i dont care frankly, it grinds my gears!

OP posts:
allthegoodusernameshavegone · 25/09/2017 20:18

It may not last, I had this a lot until I hit 30 now I'm the opposite, haggered, fat & look years older!!

JamieLannisterToMyBedchamber · 25/09/2017 20:19

I think you WILL be happy about it when you're 50 ;-)
I certainly am.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 25/09/2017 20:20

Being told you look young for your age is hardly the same as being told you're the fattest in a slimming world class.

Piratesandpants · 25/09/2017 20:20

Chill...

Original poster
Oldatheart91 · 25/09/2017 20:20

monkey i dont want to make the most, i dont want to look 16, at any age, even at 16 i didnt want to look 16! Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Oldatheart91 · 25/09/2017 20:21

brilliant why is it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Oldatheart91 · 25/09/2017 20:21

Isnt**

OP posts:
Bubblebubblepop · 25/09/2017 20:22

I used to get this and I agree with you. It's a bit humiliating in front of a queue of people

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 25/09/2017 20:23

What's the faux pas? Thinking you look young? Confused

dudsville · 25/09/2017 20:23

I have a few friends who looked incredibly young until their 40's. I never commented on it, but I don't think it's rude. People remark on anything that makes a person stand out.

MrsAJ27 · 25/09/2017 20:25

I don't think it is rude but it is bloody annoying. I am 34 and still get asked 4 ID. I just always make sure I have it on me and smile through gritted Wink

MyBrilliantDisguise · 25/09/2017 20:27

Because typically, culturally, being told you look young for your age is a massive compliment. Also typically, in our culture, being told you're fatter than everyone else is seen as a massive insult. Surely you can see that?

GhoulsFold · 25/09/2017 20:27

I still get this at 35. I was once mistaken for my husband's daughter and was interrogated by the person who thought It, as though she thought I was some sort of undercover spy that she was exposing! I got quite annoyed.

A shop assistant, despite having my ID in her hand, fired at me "what's your star sign?!" Apparently my ID could have been fake and if it had been the quickfire star sign question is a foolproof way of confirming that.

Very. Fucking. Annoying.

Nessiej78 · 25/09/2017 20:31

I know what you mean as I had the same for years. However, I'm now 39 and this post has made me realise that I've not been asked for id for years. Must look old now, which is slightly depressing! It will pass and if you're anything like me, you may even miss it!!

xMeowx · 25/09/2017 20:31

Count yourself lucky. I'm 25 but look about 40.