To bring to your attention this common faux pas

[Oldatheart91]

I am 26 years old and look considerably younger, think 16-18, and if I had a pound for every conversation Ive had about how young I am I would retire a happy lady.

Now I understand I look young, I accept that even now I will get ID'd for everything (even scratch cards!) BUT when i show you my ID i dont want to have to then stand there for actual long minutes whilst you tell me what I already know!

Yes I dont look my age. Yes I have been told that. Yes I dont look old enough to have a baby, run a house, do a weekly shop etc. And NO I will not be happy about it when Im 50!

I think random comments can be forgiven to an extent but from people who you have showed an ID to its just plain rude. It would be like a slimming world instructor raving to class about how you are the fattest lass yet! But still random comments, probably not welcome when people are doing ordinary things like standing at a bus stop or doing the weekly shop.

So in summary, i think any comment about how someone looks TOO anything (old, young, fat, thin etc.) is just rude and although you may think you are being nice you may infact be rubbing someones biggest insecurity in their face.

my mum was in her thirties when she went to teacher training college and they sent her out for her mother as mum looked too young.

It used to annoy me as well. people making assumptions. (about ten years younger)

then I had children... definitely people now think I look older... (into the next decade, harrumph)

I'm tall, I get the constant comments. It dis used to bother me but I've got more understanding as I get older.
The thing is generally the individual person that comments isn't being rude - often they are being lovely about it (they say they'd love to be my height or ask if I'm a model - they might not mean it but it's meant to be kind) if not lovely it's just an observation. It's the culmalative effect of all the comments that gets wearing and feels like society is constantly commenting on you. But the individual asking for your ID or telling me that I'm tall isn't being rude, they're just making the same dull small talk they make with everyone else. For them it makes a change to chatting about the weather while they scan your shopping.

It's because of the society we live in that values youthfulness, sees it as representing health and beauty, and therefore people genuinely believe it's a complement to say you look young (-er than you are). People would never comment and say you look five years older than you are, are you ok? Same as thinness (but not too thin!)

Look at all the vocabulary we use to describe 'beautiful people' and how they reference 'youthfulness' - cosmetics ads are littered with it. Radiant, luminous, fresh faced, well rested, bright eyed, no wrinkles. (But woe betide she who acts immaturely for her age) It is a very confusing world. I feel sorry for our daughters who are bombarded with this crap.

As for the comments op, I would just smile and say thank you, because the people saying it don't realise they are doing it and they aren't doing it to be unkind I wouldn't imagine. Or just say nothing and don't let it bother you.

I'm 35 and my local Sainsbury's always asks me for ID. So I show them ID, they then say, "Oooh well take it as a compliment,"
Every time, even when I'm with DCs 15, 13 and 10 and have a trolley full of shopping. Who do they think the hangers-on calling me "Mum" are...my mates?

I was never asked for ID when buying bottles of 20/20 aged 15 with a jacket zipped over my school uniform in the 90s!
Or celebrating the end of my GCSEs in the pub. We were always served no questions asked.

But I can't say it bothers me, half of DD13's friends look and dress like they're 19, generations are growing up so quickly in their appearance the laws have changed to protect employees.

It's not actually the being asked for ID (who could be offended by that, really?) it's the comments afterwards that can be patronising rather than flattering, especially in front of your DC "having such a young Mum".
I'm not young, I'm fucking 35

I'm 35 and my local Sainsbury's always asks me for ID. So I show them ID, they then say, "Oooh well take it as a compliment,"
Every time, even when I'm with DCs 15, 13 and 10 and have a trolley full of shopping. Who do they think the hangers-on calling me "Mum" are...my mates?

I was never asked for ID when buying bottles of 20/20 aged 15 with a jacket zipped over my school uniform in the 90s!
Or celebrating the end of my GCSEs in the pub. We were always served no questions asked.

But I can't say it bothers me, half of DD13's friends look and dress like they're 19, generations are growing up so quickly in their appearance the laws have changed to protect employees.

It's not actually the being asked for ID (who could be offended by that, really?) it's the comments afterwards that can be patronising rather than flattering, especially in front of your DC "having such a young Mum".
I'm not young, I'm fucking 35

I’ll turn it around

How annoying for my cashiers when the light flashes on self service so the customer SEES that ID is required..... and the cashier just authorised it without requesting any form of ID because the customers are clearly old enough

Then they get the usual comments

‘What are you trying to say,I look my age’
‘I’m disappointed you didn’t ask’
‘How old do you think I look then’

Can’t bloody win

Oh,you can add

‘These aren’t my kids, just my mates. I’ve got ID if you want to see it’

Time wasters!

I don't think it's exceptionally rude but I do think it must be annoying, in the same way my 6'6" rugby-player ex-boyfriend was annoyed every time someone commented on how tall/big he was. He already knew!

I get this all the time, along with the "are your parents home" when charity muggers knock the door (to which I reply no).

But I don't find it offensive or comparable to the fat analogy.

It's hard to age people outside your age group and I think people largely think they're being complimentary.

I realised I was getting old when I wasn't offended by it anymore. Doesn't happen at all now.

Yes being told "You seem so young" is an insult. My friend had that and I was a bit WTF as she is very mature and sensible. People just can't get past
the fact that she looks 17 and makes judgements based on what they are visually seeing which is so wrong

Not sure what the 'faux pas' is. Faux pas doesn't really jive with the rest of the post tbh. A 'reoccurring annoyance', perhaps. Anyway I'm 26 and I love it when people say I look like a teenager. Good, I hope I look 30 when I'm 45, but I doubt it. At least you're not being told you look fucking haggard.

Fucking hell.
We should just not talk to anyone we don't know ever again because everything offends these days.

I got ID'd a couple of years ago in my early 30's and the girl at the till was looking at my driving licence oddly so I asked if everything was ok and she said "I can't believe you're seven years older that me, that's so unfair!" I just replied sorry or something equally silly and she spent the rest of the time mumbling how unfair it was!! It was very awkward.

No idea why as no-one else says I look young and since it's a shop I'm not often in due to location I either had one kid and pregnant or 2 under 26 months so I'm sure I was fully knackered and the booze wasn't even for me!!!

A cashier in Asda asked me for ID as a joke and then laughed his head off! I'm over 40 and certainly don't look under 18 so I wasn't sure what he was on about. I was quite offended

I'm 31 and look about 10 years younger I get this all the time. The most annoying thing is how bosses at work speak to me like I am a child and find it hard getting higher posistions at work due to my youthful appearance.

I had the same problem, I used to wear tons of make up to try and make myself look older.
I’m now 51. When people find out my age their jaw literally drops. It’s fab.

I used to hate this too. When I was 21 and renting with an ex, I went to the local paper shop to arrange for us to get our newspapers delivered. Was made to wait for about 5 minutes by the person on the counter then someone else came out and said I gather you are wanting to know about delivering papers.....clearly a misunderstanding as the first person thought I was in my early teens and wanted a paper round. Not sure who was most embarrassed!

The only thing that bothers me is the "I didn't think you were that old" comment.

That's slightly offensive because I AM that old, otherwise, I quite like the fact that I'm nearly 38 and some people still think I'm early to mid-twenties though less often with every year!

I'm 36, still get asked for ID, everyone I come across thinks I'm at least 10 years younger, if not more. It's annoying, mostly because I don't feel as though I'm treated like a mature adult who has been in my profession for many years. Rather, I get treated like a new graduate then people are shocked when I begin to do said job and ask age.

It's demeaning. I hate it. I'm very short too so I guess that adds to it.

Tedious. Like my mother telling me to put my shoulders back every five minutes or asking me - when i was aged forty - 'Have you brushed your hair today?' Rude, condescending and unnecessary. I would write a liitle sketch if i were you to trot out whenever you encounter this attitude. Soon it will trip off your tongue. If i were in the position of these boorish individuals, i would feign embarassment and apologise briefly. There is absolutely no need to labour the point. What they are really saying is, you look young, therefore you must be a twerp. It's a bit like people who call you 'love' when you're 62. Do they call their GP 'love'? No, they don't. .

Wait until you are over forty ...

shit analogy, people are just making small talk. Breathe, have a snickers and get on with your day?

I agree. Being told you're too or so anything is annoying. I wouldn't say to someone, you're so slim! You don't have a right to comment on people's appreance just because YOU feel it's a positive thing.

I'm 50 next year, I look about 35. People tell me this with such amazement like I've never heard it before. I agree it's tedious sometimes, but then again, I'm 50 next year and look 35. Which is pretty fucking awesome really.