To bring to your attention this common faux pas

[Oldatheart91]

I am 26 years old and look considerably younger, think 16-18, and if I had a pound for every conversation Ive had about how young I am I would retire a happy lady.

Now I understand I look young, I accept that even now I will get ID'd for everything (even scratch cards!) BUT when i show you my ID i dont want to have to then stand there for actual long minutes whilst you tell me what I already know!

Yes I dont look my age. Yes I have been told that. Yes I dont look old enough to have a baby, run a house, do a weekly shop etc. And NO I will not be happy about it when Im 50!

I think random comments can be forgiven to an extent but from people who you have showed an ID to its just plain rude. It would be like a slimming world instructor raving to class about how you are the fattest lass yet! But still random comments, probably not welcome when people are doing ordinary things like standing at a bus stop or doing the weekly shop.

So in summary, i think any comment about how someone looks TOO anything (old, young, fat, thin etc.) is just rude and although you may think you are being nice you may infact be rubbing someones biggest insecurity in their face.

Blimey. Over-reaction, much?

Embarrassedatsoftplay patronising is about right! I'm 33. I have a friend (ex colleague) who is 40. She frequently brings up 'how young' I am in comparison to her. As someone who has siblings and plenty of friends who are MUCH older than me (and her!) I'm really comfortable talking to people of all ages I've always found it odd that she notices age. I mean, I know I'm not an old fart but it's not like I'm 12 and I'm in what people would perceive as a 'grown up' place in life (settled, married, decent career, homeowner) so it's not like she can say I'm young because I'm living the life of an 18 year old! I'm wondering if she's worried about getting older or something?

I think unfortunately it's something to grin and bear. Last time I was asked for ID I was 40! I'm 42 now and miss it, I must be looking my age lol.

I do still get constantly though oh aren't you short. Yes I am. I'm 5' 1". This won't change and I've had these comments since I was a teen. I then get asked if j buy my clothes in the kids section. No I don't. My size 14 arse won't fit into narrow kids clothing.

Having size 2 feet I get a repeat of the above.

It's annoying. It's repetitive. But hey ho. 🎗

I look young for my age as well and on the whole I don't really mind. It can get a little annoying like when I'm in a shop and show ID then the cashier is shocked so calls over other staff members to guess my age as I can't possibly be this old. I also recently just started a new job and found it a little hard to chat to the women and get involved with conversation but it turned out they thought I was around 17 -18 so saw me as a young girl - I'm 31!

I get this too. I agree, it's annoying.

What's even more annoying is when you start getting this:

Shop person: "Can I see ID?"
Me: "Sure (shows ID)"
Shop person: Oh WOW that's a huge compliment for you isn't it!!
Me: "blank stare"

I am 30 next month. So not only do I look like a child, I'm also OLD. I think I started getting it when it turned 2017 so my 1987 birthdate makes it easy to twig "this person is 30ish"

Um surely 26 isn't that unusual to be asked for ID?! I'm 41 and regularly get asked - now that really is insulting when they make you state your age in front of the queue as they believe you're under age and then demand to know your 'secret', don't believe there is no 'secret' and then can't stop chuffing away about how crazy it is that you don't look 'that old'. You kind of go from elated to deflated... :-/

I can assure you it's worse when you stop getting IDed [sob]

You're being a bit sensitive, sorry.

In your example you're asked for ID and then the cashier has expressed surprise in a jovial way at your age, throwing in a couple of compliments. That's really just attempting to make an awkward interaction more pleasant for you both.

You need to take this issue less seriously. All the frowning will give you terrible wrinkles.

I look young for my age. I'm nearly fifty and regularly get people assuming I am mid-thirties. It's been like this all my life. An airline check in woman once guessed I was thirteen when I was thirty three (I was travelling with my parents and younger brother who was about eighteen). When I was early forties, I regularly got asked for ID when buying alcohol. I'm not particularly short but I am quite thin and I suspect that might be part of it. I used to find it really annoying. OP, I am here to tell you that you will definitely not find it irritating when you are fifty!! I am quite glad that I no longer have to carry ID, though.

I think the only time I have really looked my age was when I was late thirties and had just had a baby and I looked every second of my age and then some for a couple of years. I think it was the sleep deprivation!

Common faux pas?? I think I've seen maybe two ppl in my life who literally made my jaw drop when they told me their age. Two. The vast majority look their age, give or take at most 5 years. People very liberally dole out the "you look soo much younger!!" Because it's seen as the ultimate compliment in this society.

I've always had comments about looking young. Now that I am sniffing up the bum of 50, I am rather pleased about it!

Why on earth do you think you won't be pleased about it when you're 50 OP? Unless you're Granny Weatherwax and aiming for crone-cred it's a very very rare fifty something who isn't happy to look thirty something.

There is a policy in a lot of shops/bars etc to request proof of being over 18yrs for anyone that looks 25yrs or under. It's called challenge 25.

At 26, you have to expect to be ID'd I think.

OP, I think you need to look up the meaning of 'faux pas'.

And maybe get a grip

Comparing being overweight to being fortunate enough to look young for your age is ridiculous. I know, I'm 43 and look young for my age, someone thought I was in my late twenties yd, I was v flattered.

Oh boo hoo. And I have daily conversations with people about my accent. It's just something people chat about to make conversation with a stranger.

Think you just need to learn to say thanks and move the subject along. This is coming from another younger looking person. Mid 40's now and still get told can't believe how old you are etc.. to the point where I actively hide my age because it makes me feel embarrassed, even though it's a compliment really.

If anything when I was younger and mistaken for a teen, it just highlights how arsey and patronising people can be to young people.

I was in Lidl last year at age thirty three, buying some wine.
The woman on the til asks me for ID so I hand her my driving licence, she looks at it, eyes widening, looks up at me and says in front of a que full of people "bloody hell do you have Botox or something?" (I didn't).

Now that, dear OP is rude.

The other ten thousand times I've had my youthful visage commented upon hasn't fazed me one bit. I'm a mother of five after all, My face is something of a miracle all things considered. But to attribute my apparent youth to Botox? Well, you may as well just accuse me of having a portrait in the attic! Cheeky fucker.

It's not rude it's chit chat. Possibly irritating of course but the possibilities for irritation are endless when we interact with other people.

You seem to have decided it's offensive but no one is deliberately attempting to annoy you and it's not some universally acknowledged no-no. So not a "faux pas" just "something you dislike". Obviously it's the internet so we're all free to draw attention to "something I dislike" (see a multitude of MN threads re: a shop assistant dared speak to me, an elderly person patted my child's cheek, a stranger spoke to me about the weather while waiting at the bus stop) but really we'd probably all be a bit happier if we just accepted that sometimes people attempt conversation and carried on with our lives.

It's not always fun and games looking young. My DH and I apparently appear young (though we're covered in crow's feet and graying) because we're embarrassingly short, but it has been dangerous and quite shit at times.

People really try to take advantage and screw us over because they think we're young, or worse too young. We've both been passed over for well deserved promotions because "somebody older" needs it and "we've the rest of our lives", and we've been lowballed on house offers because people assume we're "too young" for "that kind of money".

Years ago, I dated a guy who looked even younger than my DH now, and he had a car dealer literally laugh in his face - a 30 year old man with thousands in cash in his pocket - for wanting "too expensive" a car, which he could surely "never afford" at "his age". Granted, he did look about 15, but it's ridiculous.

The idle chitchat is nice and can be flattering, but when it gets in the way of your life because you're a bloody munchkin, it's not nice at all.

Urgh you are not wrong. So rude and patronising at times

It may not last, I had this a lot until I hit 30 now I'm the opposite, haggered, fat & look years older!!

So pleased you shared this, me too, the other comments were depressing me! And I loved being asked for ID at 25! Now I am often mistaken for older than I am

Oh!!! I miss this!! I was asked for Id til around age 36!!!! Not anymore :( I really REALLY don't look young anymore :( !!!

I'd enjoy it while you can OP!!! One day you'll miss it!!! (And that might b exactly the kind of comment you hate!!! But maybe just get over it! much more important things to get stressed about!)

A shop assistant, despite having my ID in her hand, fired at me "what's your star sign?!" Apparently my ID could have been fake and if it had been the quickfire star sign question is a foolproof way of confirming that.

WTF? What if you're not into star signs?! Loads of people wouldn't be able to answer that.

I think it's the constant justifying your life that grates me.
I had a child in my early twenties anyway but people are shocked to see that I am married with kids. Because apparently I look like I'm in college. I'm 29! It's frustrating mostly in the workplace because i have to constantly justify my qualifications and my work exp. it doesn't bother me out of the workplace usually. And I was told I don't come across as young, I just look it. So gotta take the silver lining I guess.

Yes, plenty of fake ID around