To bring to your attention this common faux pas

[Oldatheart91]

I am 26 years old and look considerably younger, think 16-18, and if I had a pound for every conversation Ive had about how young I am I would retire a happy lady.

Now I understand I look young, I accept that even now I will get ID'd for everything (even scratch cards!) BUT when i show you my ID i dont want to have to then stand there for actual long minutes whilst you tell me what I already know!

Yes I dont look my age. Yes I have been told that. Yes I dont look old enough to have a baby, run a house, do a weekly shop etc. And NO I will not be happy about it when Im 50!

I think random comments can be forgiven to an extent but from people who you have showed an ID to its just plain rude. It would be like a slimming world instructor raving to class about how you are the fattest lass yet! But still random comments, probably not welcome when people are doing ordinary things like standing at a bus stop or doing the weekly shop.

So in summary, i think any comment about how someone looks TOO anything (old, young, fat, thin etc.) is just rude and although you may think you are being nice you may infact be rubbing someones biggest insecurity in their face.

I agree that it is insulting when it accompanied by the patronising tone and over the top shocked face. As a young looking teacher I am constantly given a disapproving look as some people can assume I am too young to be competent at my job. (I'm 26, probably look 22ish)

I really do get why you feel it's rude

I was told all the time its small talk that's all certainly not comparable to the slimming world remark

Any slightly personal comment is seen as rude in the world of MN how many get through thw day having to deal with so many rude people is beyond me

YANBU. It is exceptionally rude and a lot of time comes from jealousy.

brilliant i understand what you are saying but i think something is as hurtful as it os hurtful to the person its aimed at regardless of culture, if I call someone fat and they take it as a compliment (as some do) and I call someone young and they are insulted, culture has no effect on either of thise situations. The only thing culture does mean is overweight people will be subject to the comments less in an everyday fashion.

Ghouls Gotta love the foolproof starsign method! 😂

Crystal meth, - that'll age you or you could just chill those boots!

I get this all the time, as pp have said my husband has been mistaken for my father. I was asked for proof of age in Poundland once for
Christmas crackers! Apparently they are classed as an explosive/firework... When my DS's teacher came over for an introduction meeting she thought my mum (who happened to be staying with us) was my DS's mum and I was the older sister... I don't think it's rude so much but I do find myself dreading going into Tesco for bottle of Barefoot on a Friday night. 😩

Some people you call fat take it as a compliment? How weird. Think you're living on a different planet to me OP.

I answered the door one morning, it was pololiticians or something,
"Is your mum or dad in?"
I was 32yo and had two DC!
It really is just chit chat, you need to chill.

I was 27 when I had DD1. I looked about 16. I got a lot of curious comments when I was pushing her about in the buggy. I didn’t mind really - I quite enjoyed their faces when I revealed my real age.

8 years later, thanks to years of sleepless nights (cheers DC2) and the stress of a marriage breakdown I look every inch my actual age. It’s probably not what you want to hear but I really miss looking so young. I feel old and haggard and invisible most of the time now.

"Being told you look young for your age is hardly the same as being told you're the fattest in a slimming world class."

Absolutely. The two things simply don't compare. Think you're making a mountain out of a molehill tbh. Sorry.

"if I call someone fat and they take it as a compliment (as some do)"

Who does? I've never met anyone who takes being told they're fat as a compliment. What are you talking about?

I used to get this a lot, though I think I look my age now! Getting ID'd never fussed me as I worked in shops for years so I know the issues with selling to under-aged people, way better to be safe than sorry. My biggest bugbear right now is my health- I'm disabled, I struggle, if ever it's brought up for whatever reason 90% of people when they find out I have severe arthritis say something like aren't you too young for that, oh suffering that at your age, oh you're no age for that. Hate having to explain that no, the type I have isn't in any way related to age, children can have it, it's immune related. Not quite the same but utterly frustrating!

My DD is tall for her age, I'm constantly tempted to get some cards printed up,

"yes, she is tall"
"tall for her age, yes"
"yes, she is taller than me"
"no her father isn't particularly tall"

It is just chit chat but when you get it all the time it gets a bit annoying.

Chances are you will appreciate it in your 50's. I'm mid fifties, and was told I looked mid 40's the other day.
I too was ID'd forever, had first baby at 27 and looked like a teen.
Got a bit fed up of people telling me to stay in school, when I was training to be a Nurse.
Long nights too much sun and alcohol could probably age you if you like it has for some of the people I was in school with

I'm with you. I hate it.

It also really annoys me that anyone under 28ish is often still perceived as very young - almost teenaged really and are not taken seriously in the workplace or generally as in independent free thinking adult. It's bizarre!

Another 'young' looking person here. The comments don't bother me so much - although I can see why they would' - but I do feel like I have to make more effort in the workplace to be respected as I feel people (particularly men of a certain age) can be dismissive. Or is that a gender thing? Anyone else had experience of this?

People at work comment on how I look too young to have a kid.

Yeah thanks I'm in my 30s.

It's not a compliment, it's patronising.

People should keep any comments about appearance to themselves, but YABU to compare it to someone telling someone that they are fat.

I like it. Retail staff often get a hard time asking for idea and some are actually scared of doing it. So when I get asked I always smile and say 'I'm so glad you asked, I'm 29', which attracts similar comments to you Op. There's no need to get arsey about it!

Life's too short to fret. Our youngest is 19 but still gets offered colouring and the children's menu. She always gets stop at immigration wherever she is whilst checks are made on authenticity of her passport. Returning from France to Gatwick she was told she had to wait with the immigration staff whilst they checked the person collecting her. They were quite surprised it was a) her mother who wasn't best pleased at delays at 3am and b) she really was an adult. Bus drivers frequently refuse her money. She buys children's clothes and shoes but high heels are a nightmare. She can't reach the optics when she's working in a local pub. Sometimes she gets irritated but mainly she shrugs her shoulders.

Ah, youth really is wasted on the young isn't it? I used to look a fair bit younger but the years (and the cigarettes) have caught up with me. I was recently asked if I wanted a senior concession for an attraction I was visiting. I'm 54. I wanted to die. I promise you WILL love it when you're 50 and you have my permission to become incredibly smug.

I got this a lot, less so now I have two small dc. I agree that it is annoying and doesn't feel complimentary. It feels like your life experience is being denied, that people think you look young and stupid. And it usually comes from letchy men who think you should be grateful to them for paying you a 'compliment'.

Oh stop your bloody moaning!!!

Is this even worthy of a thread? Get a fucking life

And it’s not a common ‘faux pas’....