To bring to your attention this common faux pas

[Oldatheart91]

I am 26 years old and look considerably younger, think 16-18, and if I had a pound for every conversation Ive had about how young I am I would retire a happy lady.

Now I understand I look young, I accept that even now I will get ID'd for everything (even scratch cards!) BUT when i show you my ID i dont want to have to then stand there for actual long minutes whilst you tell me what I already know!

Yes I dont look my age. Yes I have been told that. Yes I dont look old enough to have a baby, run a house, do a weekly shop etc. And NO I will not be happy about it when Im 50!

I think random comments can be forgiven to an extent but from people who you have showed an ID to its just plain rude. It would be like a slimming world instructor raving to class about how you are the fattest lass yet! But still random comments, probably not welcome when people are doing ordinary things like standing at a bus stop or doing the weekly shop.

So in summary, i think any comment about how someone looks TOO anything (old, young, fat, thin etc.) is just rude and although you may think you are being nice you may infact be rubbing someones biggest insecurity in their face.

As long as you are taken seriously, and not patronised, I don't think it's a problem.

I'm 5 foot nothing (and young looking) and it does piss me off if people treat me differently because they think I'm young. i.e. they might assume I'm inexperienced or not senior.

YANBU and I understand how you feel as I get that, and I'm 34. And as I am only 5'2, when I worked in a pub many moons ago and had to ID customers, I'd also get smart arse remarks such as "are you sure YOU'RE 18+ as you are too short..." yes, I forgot there was certain heights you have to be at different ages!

I was being ID'd up until a couple of years ago (am now 38) - even when 8 months pregnant with DD1! . It was annoying, but since DD2 came along it hasn't happened, and now I sort of miss it... maybe I'm looking really haggard now!

I'm 35 in a few weeks and still get asked for id on occasions, usually I take it as a compliment, but sometimes it is embarrassing. The most recent time was when my 15 year old (and passes for 17+) son was pushing me in my wheelchair.. Don't want to think what relationship the lady thought we were to each other!! But honestly, deciding to laugh about it is definitely the way to go.

My best friend was still getting this at 33!

I wish I had these annoying comments!

I forgot, my husband and do look our age, grey hair etc but we get asked at the supermarket if we are over 18!

X

I hear what you're saying. I got away with half fare until late 20s myself and it drove me nuts when I was younger. I wanted to look my age and feel more mature. I'm now 49 and people think I'm about 35. Believe me I do love it now although still look ridiculous in too much makeup. Smokey and sultry has never worked for me lol. Sadly we live in a society where looks are judged constantly. Of course we shouldn't be judged by how we look and I can imagine it's hard being a parent and that maturity constantly queried. I wish I had a answer. I've been there but did come out the other side xxx

And NO I will not be happy about it when Im 50!

Oh, you WILL. I'm 63 and got inveigled into telling someone I was working with yesterday my age -she was shocked because she (genuinely) thought I was much younger. It took her a couple of minutes to get over the shock. At this end of life it does cheer you up.

This always used to happen to me . The last time I was asked for ID I was 36 ! I did find it annoying but now I am very in my later forties I am only grateful !

hmm...no I'm pretty confident I won't be happy if people are still underestimating my age/seniority when I'm 50.

Why anyone with an ounce of self-esteem invested in anything other than their appearance would be happy to be thought to be younger/more immature/less experienced than they are is a mystery to me.

It's because a) once women start to look over 45 they notoriously become invisible and get patronised by all and sundry unless they are massively high status and b) the wrinkles, age spots and thinning hair you see in the mirror are a symbol
of approaching death Morphene.

I'm in my early 40s, skinny and look young. I'm always happy to be told I don't look my age. The skinny thing does get a bit boring.
I suppose that based on magazine covers it might be that being slim and young looking are considered more desirable traits than being "old looking" or "fat"; ergo people feel that they can pass such a remark in a back handed complimentary way. I would hazard a guess that people remark on someone who is 20 but looks 50 or obese (to their faces).

*remark less

Jesus, we get it, you look young...so did I until my fourth kid stretched my vag so far I now trip over the damned thing ;-)

Lol joking, I have been asked for my id once since being mid-thirties, and I was pleased as punch! Some folk are probably trying to be friendly, because some people are so up their own arse they can't be bothered to make chit chat anymore, and some folk are lonely, and have no idea what to talk about, and might think you look nice and friendly, and be trying to pay you a compliment. I'm pretty sure its f&^k all like being compared to the fattest lass at weight watchers though!

I'm a bit confused at the idea that being middle aged will somehow earn you respect and admiration as a woman in this society because all I hear is that you become invisible, forgotten, and passed over by one and all e.g. The Gloria Steinem quote men gain power in society as they age, women lose it.
Ime, as a woman young or old you'll get passed over and underestimated and talked down to, whether or not you have the cross to bear of looking like a fresh young thing or not.

Totally rude and annoying. Really i look young, do i? Ya know what? I never noticed before thanks for pointing that out!
Ive had a shop assistant try to take my driving licence off me and put a pair of scissors to it, because it.must be fake!
Luckily i went to school with her boss who put her in her place!
When i was pregnnt with my first ( 10years ago)i had to catch the bus to drs, sat minding my own business when a dear sweet old.lady came and told me she hoped i was putting my baby up for adoption as she was sick of "kids spitting out kids" and both myself and my parents should be ashamed i was pregnant so young- she got really pissed off when i sat there laughing my head off and told her i was 24! It doesnt happen as often now (in my local area) and no i dont miss it!

It's really annoying. People [used to] say things like that to me after they'd ID'd me and guessed my age way wrong. They're trying to explain or justify their mistake.

Sista! U is preaching to choir!! I'm 41 & look roughly 30 if that. Even now people sometimes check if i'm a student, etc. Nope i'm 41.

Its slightly - slightly - nicer now i'm older but still not great. I once went to give careers advice at a college on results day & had to explain i was staff - was prob around 30 then, & it was GCSE results day!! Hotel Manager once wanted to set sis up wiv 12 yr old, she was 10, when we were on family holiday; but had struggled to find me a "nice 16 year old so far". I was 21 & a 2nd year undergrad. Until recently (about 2.5 / 3 years ago) i was regularly ID'd Waitrose / Sainsburys when buying bottle of wine - i was 38 then.

I have a 2 year old now which helps in supermarkets, but yep older people / those who look older than i do whether they are older or not, often struggle when finding out my age / career history (i've worked in 6 schools, 3 FE Colleges & 2 universities & worked in retail management b4 my education career) or fact i've been married 12 years.

These days i try to let it go over my head, but sometimes people are incredibly rude cause they think you're wet behind the ears!

I advised teenagers for 8 years - the parents weren't always that happy bout an older sister figure type advising their kid they couldn't do A2s if they'd got Us / Es in A/S Level. & when i was round 34, some of the 16 / 17 year old girls were horrified to discover i was as old as their mother as they had preferred me as an older sister figure type!! #cannotwin luckily i'll be 57 when my DS is 20, so all is not lost - hoping his friends will be convinced i'm roughly early 40s like their mums 👍

It's fucking rude. As it is to comment on any strangers appearance.

I'm 34 and can't buy booze without the 'wow! You look so young!' Comments from the older crowd and the 'wow you're old' from the teenagers.

I like looking a lot younger than I am and don't mind the comments. I do however mind being treated younger than I am. Because I look younger people think I am less experienced in my job.

Being treated in a discriminatory way for looking young in the workplace is a real difficulty.

But if you think "wow you look young" is fucking rude then you've led a very sheltered life.

I wish! @ILostItInTheEarlyNineties ! Im hardly easily offended, the comment itself isn't ducking rude, but to feel moment on a strangers appearance is.

Replace its with 'wow, you're fat!' And people would (rightly) be up in arms.

Fuck me. Good luck reading that message

That's because most people don't want to look/be fat but most people want to look young, hence why it's not a freakin insult!