To bring to your attention this common faux pas

[Oldatheart91]

I am 26 years old and look considerably younger, think 16-18, and if I had a pound for every conversation Ive had about how young I am I would retire a happy lady.

Now I understand I look young, I accept that even now I will get ID'd for everything (even scratch cards!) BUT when i show you my ID i dont want to have to then stand there for actual long minutes whilst you tell me what I already know!

Yes I dont look my age. Yes I have been told that. Yes I dont look old enough to have a baby, run a house, do a weekly shop etc. And NO I will not be happy about it when Im 50!

I think random comments can be forgiven to an extent but from people who you have showed an ID to its just plain rude. It would be like a slimming world instructor raving to class about how you are the fattest lass yet! But still random comments, probably not welcome when people are doing ordinary things like standing at a bus stop or doing the weekly shop.

So in summary, i think any comment about how someone looks TOO anything (old, young, fat, thin etc.) is just rude and although you may think you are being nice you may infact be rubbing someones biggest insecurity in their face.

Ha ha. Yes I have a feature that everyone commented on for years and still do as though that's an ok thing to do. It's like they're the first and you didn't know. As you say for many of us a £ for every wow you're short/tall/young/ginger/young mum/old mum etc you get in a lifetime. Yep no shit Sherlock I had actually noticed that about myself. give us that quid and I'll retire early

I always get asked for ID and I'm well into my 30s. I appreciate that it can be hard to guess ages and normally I don't mind being asked, but some people can be incredibly patronizing. I once had someone ring our doorbell and ask for my parents, when I explained that I was in fact the homeowner they acted like they didn't believe me and quickly left.a couple of times I have also been accused of borrowing someone else's ID as they thought I was lying about my age.

However I fear the day I am no longer asked as then I know my age has caught up with me

I'm 56 years old and I've always looked younger than I am. It didn't really annoy me when I was in my 20s, and believe me, when you're my age it's very flattering when it happens. In fact today I had a conversation with someone whom I knew was 8 years younger than me, and it soon became clear he thought he was about 10 years older. It made my day!! My mum was the same , so it must be in the genes and not anything I can take credit for.

I have an unusual name. I've had the same conversation about with random strangers since I was 6. It's a bit boring for me but humans need conversations. People need contact with other people. It's simply a conversation to make life a little more pleasant.

I'm so sick people decided new rules for interaction based on sample of one. If your unhappy with it hand over the id and say "don't comment on my appearance I don't like". Rather than try and get everyone in the world to change thier behaviour.

I think you sound very odd OP.

Imagine getting het up about looking young and equating it to being called fat. Such nonsense!

And saying you won't be glad when it happens in your 50s.

You make no sense.

Come back when you've formulated a cogent argument.

I can't get worked up about it, personally. I'm a few weeks shy of 34, am regularly ID'd and told I look like I'm in my early 20s. I'm also very small, height wise.

Although being ID'd is sometimes a bit of a pain, I'm just pleased that I still look younger than I am, particularly after dedicating over 10 years of my life to alcoholism! By rights, I should look completely raddled

I don't think you understand what 'faux pas' means. And yes it is ridiculous to be getting so worked up over. It would be rude in the reverse scenario - i.e. someone commenting "wow you look much older" or whatever but would generally say it sounds like they're paying you a compliment. (Arseholes that they are ) If you over react to most trivial things like a sullen teenager maybe this is why they're confused.

Ha running - quite! It's a bit of a teenage strop really isn't it.

I had this constantly and then I had a baby and I think I look my age since then! It might only be a few more years before you start missing your youthful visage OP. I do agree that there's about half an hour of looking the perfect age a very narrow window for women in our society between looking too young to be taken seriously and looking too old to be relevant.

Ah lethal teenage strop you say....hmmm interesting

It is very annoying,you have my sympathy.
But,actually,you might be glad of it when you're 50 - honest!
(Voice of experience )

This isn't a faux pas, just a line of conversation you don't like.

I used to get this.. then non sleeping dd broke me and I 100% look older than my age.

On my 45th birthday the irrepresibly perky and very young cinema cashier looked at me and gave me an OAP ticket. A ticket for someone 15 years older than my actual age. I joked about it with people a lot, but actually it was a fairly crushing realisation. I look a lot older than I am. Not diminishing your experience, but it seems the better side of the coin to me. I'd happily swap.

I always thought it was just being polite to say someone looks younger than their age when they tell you how old they are. Even if they actually look older.
My grandmother tells everyone her age (91) and, according to her, they're all amazed and say she looks much younger. She really doesn't.

When I have to ID people and they look younger than they are I say to them ''You look younger'' as a way of explaining why I've ID'd them, not to insult them or annoy them

I was in Lidl last year at age thirty three, buying some wine.
The woman on the til asks me for ID so I hand her my driving licence, she looks at it, eyes widening, looks up at me and says in front of a que full of people "bloody hell do you have Botox or something?" (I didn't)

This is exactly what I mean! I dont mean a passing remark i mean a rude comment.

As others have said its more the constant remarks from complete stranger that wear you down. I suffer from depression and anxiety and it just makes me feel extra judged when im out. My issues i know I just thought it may not be something people thought about before if youve never had to deal with it, didnt want to cause offence.

I’m 35 and got IDd in Tesco buying alcohol last week. The lady said “wow what’s your secret?” And I felt under soooo much pressure to come up with a “secret”! I said “lots of sleep and gin” and then ran off all embarrassed.

Kept telling DH how young I look though - he couldn’t believe it 🙄

It never annoyed me. I used to get on buses and pay student fare when I was well in to my 20s.

As for whether or not you'll look forty or 60 when you're 50, well that depends on a lot of factors; sun damage, smoke damage, health and alcohol intake, lifestyle, weight gain, and, to be honest, priorities.......

So when you're 50 if you look forty then I'll be impressed, until then, well, nobody under thirty really has to have any sign of ageing on their face I don't thikl

OP you haven't caused offence. I think unless you've experienced it first hand and all the patronising comments that go with it, then it's hard to empathise. It gets frustrating! I'm want to be taken more seriously

I'm in my 50's and it annoys me when people tell me I don't look old enough to have a 19 year old (I was 33 when i had him, ffs) or that I must have started very young or any other comments about my age.

And yes, when I was in my 20's and not let into clubs or refused drink, I used to get told I'd be glad of it when I was 40. No, I wasn't and I'm still not glad of it in my 50's.

It's an accident of genes, coupled with the fact I've never smoked. Not exactly an achievement on my part.

'Bloody hell do you have both or something' - is not rude! Learn to take a compliment with good grace and get over yourself!

Botox not both!

It would be a sad world if no one felt able to make well intentioned light hearted remarks to others in society for fear that it would be labelled as a Faux Pas. Practically anything in conversation could be viewed as insulting for a sensitive someone somewhere

I really don't think any of your examples commenting on your youthful looks have been rude. You're 26, that is really young.

I'm sorry you suffer with anxiety and depression though. That is bound to colour your view of the world.