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AIBU?

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Original poster

School photographer telling my daughter to 'look smart' for her photo and making her do her tie up

221 replies

wibble75 · 21/09/2017 21:44

Eldest DD is in Y7 and has come home this evening with the proofs from her school photos were were taken in the first week of term. I've only just got in from work and seen them and tbh a pissed off that they don't represent how she looks for school and she's since told me that the photographer made her do her top button up and 'look smart' for her photo.

I totally believe DD on this as she hates having her top button done up - she doesn't have her tie very loose but enough to be comfortable, and has done ever since day 1 of primary school. None of her teachers have commented on it, she's never worn it done up for any of her previous school photos, and was furious at having been told to do it!

Is this normal or AIBU to think it a bit crap of them? Surely it's up to the child how they look for their photo, and if it's 'smart' enough for the school then the photographer should go with that?

OP posts:
TheNoodlesIncident · 21/09/2017 23:23

What's her expression like OP? Is she looking a bit frosty or managed to look reasonably chirpy?

I remember once a poster posted her ds's school photo with a title like Look At My Lovely Son, he was scowling fiercely with his arms folded.

Was the funniest school pic I've ever seen Grin I would have bought it to embarrass him for ever

elephantoverthehill · 21/09/2017 23:23

Sorry I should clarify from year 7 to 11. I expect the same happens in Primary schools.

Justaboy · 21/09/2017 23:24

Blimey!when i were a lad etc, king Geo VI were on the throne!, I had a photographer whip out a comb and tub of Brylcream who slapped that on and combed my mane straight, if I'd have told me dad that I'd had to have that done I'd have had a right rollicking;!

Liiinoo · 21/09/2017 23:24

I used to work in a secondary school as data manager. We needed a photo of every student on the database so teachers/cover supervisors/exam invigilators could have photo lists of the students that were meant to be in front of them. Before I joined the school they were paying an art technician to take these photos and it took days. I discovered that if we had one of the big photography companies take the pictures (at no cost to the school) we could whack through 900 students in a day AND earn a reasonable commission on any photo packs parents bought. And that's the whole point of school photos. They are handy identifiers for staff and police, but maybe that was just our school so the more similar the pose and outfits are the better. They are not intended to be a personalised representation of each child's personality.

MrsPinkCock · 21/09/2017 23:26

Oh dear. Have a Biscuit

Or maybe you'd prefer a Glitterball sparkly special snowflake

Original poster
wibble75 · 21/09/2017 23:27

I suppose I just wanted a relaxed looking photo which represented how she normally looks for school rather than how the photographer though she should look.

At the risk of being controversial I also used to wear my tie loose at school - my mum didn't like it but she accepted that's how it was and so when I had my end of senior school photo, she didn't mind that I didn't look as 'smart' as some of her friends' daughters because that's how I'd looked for every day at school.

OP posts:
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 21/09/2017 23:27

Christ ! DC looked a bloody state in theirs

I want smart !

Original poster
wibble75 · 21/09/2017 23:30

I was going to post a photo that I took before she went to school on her first day but I think I might get harangued for that too :-(

OP posts:
FlowerPot1234 · 21/09/2017 23:31

I suppose I just wanted a relaxed looking photo

Then get your camera out any old day and take some snaps. There.

This was supposed to be an official school photograph. You know, effort, standards, smart, respect, pride and all that. You know, all the character-building stuff that ensures children grow up into fine young adults instead of pandered-to spoiled whinging brats.

Original poster
wibble75 · 21/09/2017 23:31

PovertyPain - you're right, it has been a shitty day, sorry

OP posts:
SouthWindsWesterly · 21/09/2017 23:31

Phahahahaha!

In my DC school, there are extra branded jumpers to be loaned for the photos, shirts are tucked in, ties done up to the top and the photographer even helps to tidy the hair and for the DC to position themselves. That's just standard with the PTA mums on hand to help out in presentation.

Original poster
wibble75 · 21/09/2017 23:33

FlowerPot1234 - sorry, but my girls are not 'pandered-to spoiled whinging brats.'

OP posts:
TwatteryFlowers · 21/09/2017 23:33

I must have been a bit of a scruffy child when I was at primary school because I remember the head teacher spitting on his handkerchief and wiping my face before allowing me to have my photo taken!

If she's in y7 is it the 1st photo from high school? That might explain the change - it could be a different photographer, possibly even a different company, and I think they expect the children to look smarter than at primary school.

Have some Wine and hopefully a better day tomorrow.

TheNoodlesIncident · 21/09/2017 23:34

wibble Flowers
Hope tomorrow is a better day

elephantoverthehill · 21/09/2017 23:35

Sorry Op, as I have hinted and Liii has stated these photos are about child protection, in the main. The photographers can sell to the parents but who wants to buy a photo of a child who looks as they normally would. You probably have a phone for that.

FlowerPot1234 · 21/09/2017 23:37

Read my post again. That's not what I said.

Nevertheless, what we do know is your daughter came home, told you all about the nasty photographer who made her look nice, and "was furious at having been told to do it!". They're your words, and that's your child there. Awful.

MargaretTwatyer · 21/09/2017 23:37

God. This reminds me of the photo of poor Shannon Matthews when she went missing. Her buttons were all undone and her hair was a mess and her teeth weren't brushed.

Now I'm not for a second suggesting that you neglect her OP. Just that the prevailing social more is a preference for children to look smart so nobody can even suggest anything is amiss.

I have lovely pics of my DS in our back garden looking like his normal scruffy lovely self in his uniform. But his school photo is the one 'official' formal photo he has done so it is appropriate for him to look smart even though it's the only time he ever does.

MargaretTwatyer · 21/09/2017 23:39

Incidentally I always looked scruffy in my photos because I was being neglected. It would have been nice if someone had cared enough to hand me a comb or tell me to do up my button.

Liiinoo · 21/09/2017 23:39

Elephant I tried to do photos every 18 months or so to try and ensure that the photo on SIMS reasonably reflected the current appearance of the students. We were normally successful in getting the Y7 pics but after that because of illness/absence etc we would miss a few so we would end up with a photo of a fresh faced, gap toothed 11 year old instead of the hulking, bearded teenager who was sitting his GCSEs. (IT was also noticeable that parents weren't so keen to buy those photos as they were the earlier cute ones so they weren't so much of a money earner). Even that problem was pretty much overcome when we started updating the out of date pictures with more casual photos one of the pastoral staff took on the school camera. These were so hideous (and appeared on their school reports) that they started making an effort to come in on photo days.

IamAporcupine · 21/09/2017 23:40

I actually know what you mean OP!
DS has long hair that he wears in a pony tail. In all his school pictures they tied it up soooo tight it looks like a cow licked him! He is smiley and 'smart' but he definitely does not look like himself.

calzone · 21/09/2017 23:45

This thread has irritated me greatly.

Utterly unbelievable OP.

Original poster
wibble75 · 21/09/2017 23:45

Flowerpot 1234 - 'the nasty photographer who made her look nice' - why didn't my daughter look nice as she was? It's not like she had her shirt hanging our and her tie all skewed with a stupid fat knot with 2 shirts buttons undone.

OP posts:
Quimby · 21/09/2017 23:45

"God. This reminds me of the photo of poor Shannon Matthews when she went missing. Her buttons were all undone and her hair was a mess and her teeth weren't brushed.

Now I'm not for a second suggesting that you neglect her OP."

Then why fucking bother with the first paragraph.

I only scrolled down so I could get round to piling on the op , but fuck me this is next level passive aggressive stupidity.

"Let me just compare this slightly off but largely inoffensive situation to a nationally reported incident of child abuse. BUT let me also disengenuosly distance my comparison from that and say I'm not comparing the two so that nobody can criticise me."

LesDennishair · 21/09/2017 23:46

This site is over run with goady fuckers and the terminally stupid

This, most definitely

elephantoverthehill · 21/09/2017 23:48

Margaret Flowers

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