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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School photographer telling my daughter to 'look smart' for her photo and making her do her tie up

221 replies

wibble75 · 21/09/2017 21:44

Eldest DD is in Y7 and has come home this evening with the proofs from her school photos were were taken in the first week of term. I've only just got in from work and seen them and tbh a pissed off that they don't represent how she looks for school and she's since told me that the photographer made her do her top button up and 'look smart' for her photo.

I totally believe DD on this as she hates having her top button done up - she doesn't have her tie very loose but enough to be comfortable, and has done ever since day 1 of primary school. None of her teachers have commented on it, she's never worn it done up for any of her previous school photos, and was furious at having been told to do it!

Is this normal or AIBU to think it a bit crap of them? Surely it's up to the child how they look for their photo, and if it's 'smart' enough for the school then the photographer should go with that?

OP posts:
LazyDailyMailJournos · 21/09/2017 22:03

Gosh you could get a really good Daily Mail sadface photo out of this. You looking "fumming" and your daughter pointing mournfully to the offending top button.

In your shoes I'd be writing to the school governors and demanding some compo.

MsWanaBanana · 21/09/2017 22:03
Biscuit
PenelopeFlintstone · 21/09/2017 22:04

You're lucky. In Australia we have to pay before they take the photos.

CotswoldStrife · 21/09/2017 22:04

My DD was very slow at buttoning her polo shirt and cardigan in reception so I always left them undone. I could tell she'd had her school photo because she came home completely buttoned in to everything Grin Her teacher and TA were determined that the children would look smart and they did, to the extent of swapping jumpers and cardigans if necessary! I appreciated their efforts Grin

JonSnowsWife · 21/09/2017 22:06

I totally believe DD on this as she hates having her top button done up - she doesn't have her tie very loose but enough to be comfortable, and has done ever since day 1 of primary school. None of her teachers have commented on it, she's never worn it done up for any of her previous school photos, and was furious at having been told to do it!

Totally normal. DD hates having her top button done up. But it is actually one of the schools rules. She had it undone for her photos as she wasn't feeling too well and to be honest, you can tell the difference (she has asthma and when it's playing up she can feel quite constricted, which then makes her panic, and then the inevitable happens).

You're lucky it was just the photographer. DDs school had teachers on standby checking pupils looked okay before going in to the room! Grin

shivermytimbers · 21/09/2017 22:06

I don't think you should press charges but defo log it with police!

fleshmarketclose · 21/09/2017 22:07

In dd's primary the teacher inspected them before they ever got to the photographer. In secondary they would have got a demerit for uniform infringement for not having the top button fastened. I think you should buy dd a shirt that fits so that she can fasten the top button so she doesn't need telling to do it up.

Bettercallsaul1 · 21/09/2017 22:07

Have you paid for the photos, OP? Could you cancel the cheque?

QueenUnicorn · 21/09/2017 22:07

Smartness for school photos has always been a thing. I remember when we had our school photos done we'd all see who could get away with being the most messy without being pulled up on it, lol.

echt · 21/09/2017 22:08

At my school, the year level Heads are at the door, and no-one gets to the photo without being in proper uniform. But then the purpose of the photo is ID for class rolls, so they represent the school, not overweening parents.

PickAChew · 21/09/2017 22:08

DS2's picture was overexposed, which added to the horror film look.

I remember DS1 coming home with a side parting, early in primary school. His default is unruly prince Harry hair!

InsomniacAnonymous · 21/09/2017 22:10

I assume you've already logged this outrageous behaviour with the police, OP

Hmm
Charolais · 21/09/2017 22:10

Back in the day they’d tell us to take the fag out of our gobs.

IcanMooCanYou · 21/09/2017 22:12

Cancel the cheque Grin

Original poster
wibble75 · 21/09/2017 22:13

Sorry for delayed reply, was getting kids sorted and cooking myself some dinner.

I can understand many peoples' comments - first world problem, should be looking smart, photographers can't win, etc, etc - I suppose I deserve to be shot down in flames for posting my thoughts. Maybe just a long day :-(

OP posts:
limitedperiodonly · 21/09/2017 22:13

I love scruffy school photos. There's one of me aged 7 where I refused to have my hair combed with the communal comb because everyone knew Jimmy Woolley had nits.

Stressalot42 · 21/09/2017 22:15

TBH honest I’m not sure why PPs have been utterly horrid!!

Obviously you won’t all 999 but you should consider going back to the school with a perfectly request?

  1. They get the photographer back in and you supervise the resit
  1. They pay for you own photographer to take photos that are agreeable to you

Alternatively, just get a life!!!!

redsquirrel2 · 21/09/2017 22:16

My son looks like a Tory MP on his photo. Now that's a real problem!!

NotACleverName · 21/09/2017 22:16

Pure DM fodder, this.

notangelinajolie · 21/09/2017 22:16

Thinking this is not real but just in case - head at DD's primary school used to stand on the sidelines with a comb.

coddiwomple · 21/09/2017 22:16

just put it in the "forbidding my child to wear black leggings/ her hair blue and green/ a microskirt is infringing her human rights" pile of complaints

Coconutspongexo · 21/09/2017 22:16

This reply has been deleted

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Viviennemary · 21/09/2017 22:18

You sound like hard work.

WhatInTheWorldIsGoingOn · 21/09/2017 22:19

I have a special clean, school branded jumper and cardigan for school photos. It's communal if need be by order of the head. Those children go forward onto the chair of happiness without a single hair out of place, shining like the pupils the school wishes they were everyday.

Reppin · 21/09/2017 22:21

You are furious? I think you need something to occupy yourself if that makes you furious. A job? Hobbies?

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