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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School photographer telling my daughter to 'look smart' for her photo and making her do her tie up

221 replies

wibble75 · 21/09/2017 21:44

Eldest DD is in Y7 and has come home this evening with the proofs from her school photos were were taken in the first week of term. I've only just got in from work and seen them and tbh a pissed off that they don't represent how she looks for school and she's since told me that the photographer made her do her top button up and 'look smart' for her photo.

I totally believe DD on this as she hates having her top button done up - she doesn't have her tie very loose but enough to be comfortable, and has done ever since day 1 of primary school. None of her teachers have commented on it, she's never worn it done up for any of her previous school photos, and was furious at having been told to do it!

Is this normal or AIBU to think it a bit crap of them? Surely it's up to the child how they look for their photo, and if it's 'smart' enough for the school then the photographer should go with that?

OP posts:
HoorayForBoobies · 21/09/2017 22:21

I sympathise with your daughter as I can't bear anything tight on my neck (can't wear polo necks, hate ties etc) but smartening her up for the photo is fine, normal and probably took under a minute. I'm afraid in answer to your Q - you are being unreasonable.

The teacher re-did my DD's hair for one of her school photos (she's little) as I guess my skills aren't up to scratch. Grin

llangennith · 21/09/2017 22:22

Sounds like a breach of her yuman rights Grin

Thirtyrock39 · 21/09/2017 22:23

Just don't buy the photo then!

SpareChangeDownTheSofa · 21/09/2017 22:23

God, my teachers made us queue up outside the room and walked up and down the line like army generals making us do up the button and tie. If we didn't they did it for us...even in year 11!

kali110 · 21/09/2017 22:24

What?

kali110 · 21/09/2017 22:24

SpareChangeDownTheSofa
Sounds familar Grin

buttercup54321 · 21/09/2017 22:25

So don't buy the photo then. Why do you want to bring her up looking scruffy anyway?

BabychamSocialist · 21/09/2017 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lookingbeyond40 · 21/09/2017 22:26

Furious???? Dear god, what do you do in a real crisis The mind boggles.

ProfessorCat · 21/09/2017 22:26

Oh you'd hate me then. I brush, gel, straighten and tidy to within an inch of their lives Grin

MarciaBlaine · 21/09/2017 22:26

. I always buy the fuckers though.

Runningyogabooze · 21/09/2017 22:27

YABU (and a tiny bit precious too)

ProfessorCat · 21/09/2017 22:27

My TA and I also police the photos that come up on a screen. If a child doesn't look like their normal selves, is pulling w weird face etc, we make them take them again until they're nice. The photographer loves us Smile

MimsyBorogroves · 21/09/2017 22:28

Holy shitballs, batman, that's awful!

Hope you recover from the shock.

Beeziekn33ze · 21/09/2017 22:30

One head of a junior school stood in the doorway of the hall, comb in hand, to check all 300+ pupils looked tidy. She twitched a jacket here, tidied hair there, touching every single child. She didn't trust us class teachers to check that our class looked presentable.

ProseccoMamam · 21/09/2017 22:30

This is a joke?
You let your child go to school with buttons undone and a tie half complete and complain when the professional photographer smartened her up for a picture that you'll be looking at for years to come.

I'd be fuming if my son brought his school photos back and he looked a scruff! That's when I'd complain about the photographer!Hmm

elephantoverthehill · 21/09/2017 22:32

Did no one notice this commentSorry for delayed reply, was getting kids sorted and cooking myself some dinner.

I can understand many peoples' comments - first world problem, should be looking smart, photographers can't win, etc, etc - I suppose I deserve to be shot down in flames for posting my thoughts. Maybe just a long day :-(

IrregularCommentary · 21/09/2017 22:34

I totally believe DD on this

Well, yeah... why wouldn't you?

Also, being smart for a school photo is normal and in no way a problem. Really weird thing to have an issue with.

LoniceraJaponica · 21/09/2017 22:35

“the photographer made her do her top button up and 'look smart'…she hates having her top button done up”

She is very lucky that the school doesn’t insist that she dresses like this every day. DD’s school insists on top buttons done up and ties worn properly. And they get told off if they don’t.

PurpleTango · 21/09/2017 22:36
Biscuit
LynetteScavo · 21/09/2017 22:40

My DD brought home her school photo proof yesterday. The photographer told her to stick her beck out (Presumably she was hunching) her neck actually does look a lot longer in the photo than it is in real life. I won't buy the photo. Their loss. I have billions of much better photos of DD, all taken for free.

The photographer was doing their job, I'm doing mine

JonSnowsWife · 21/09/2017 22:42

She is very lucky that the school doesn’t insist that she dresses like this every day. DD’s school insists on top buttons done up and ties worn properly. And they get told off if they don’t

Ours too Lonicera. You're told to smarten up once. The next time it's automatic detention. If it wasn't for DDs asthma the other week I'm sure they wouldn't have been that lenient usually.

elephantoverthehill · 21/09/2017 22:43

Whoops OP my post was trying to be supportive. Looking at it again it seems like I might be being a bit goady. Sorry no offence meant.

Redglitter · 21/09/2017 22:44

Well this thread certainly puts all my problems into perspective Hmm

limitedperiodonly · 21/09/2017 22:45

My mum never used to pay for school photos either. I'd go in every day with the teacher asking me for money and me saying I didn't have it. It took about three weeks until they'd give up. I'm not scarred by that experience; it's taught me that dogged resistance works. Those were the days before they put PROOF on them

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