AIBU to ask how the hell we are meant to parent!

[PERFORMACEPARENT]

I am a parent of 2, a 5yo, and a 3.5yo with additional needs. I have recently in public been told to tone down my performance parenting, this has led me to here! I don't use mumsnet and find soo many of the posts on here difficult to swallow especailly since its mostly judgemental. I am here to ask WTF is this performance parenting shit about. The person who approached me to tone it down knew nothing about me and my son and was met with a polite 'sorry, although I am theatre trained, I am afraid to say I am not putting on a preformance for anyone. I am comunicating with my son who needs are additional to most'. I talk in a projected voice as my son suffered with glue ear and due to multiple health issues is non verbal and yes I sit on the bus and ask him to point to said item or count the cars ect. It's called parenting! I could sit him watching peppa pig on a tablet but I am sure people would comment on that too. What about when I am out with my 5yo and she is close to melt down and I have two options I could play a game with her to distract her from this, or let her melt down and ruin lots of peoples day that way istead. SO WTF and AIBU to be an interactive parent!?!?!?!?!

Yep - I thought (and said) OP sounded annoying from her 1st post. Now having RTFT even more so

OMG - I think I know the performance father in the art gallery on pointillism!!

I was walking along the road and there was a dad behind us loudly explaining the events of holocaust in great (no hold barred) detail - and the origins of WW2 to his son. When I turned around the poor child was about 4 and I'm not sure he was completely following the lecture.

Fekko
Exactly. The volume just isn't needed.
By all means he can talk with (to) his child about WW2 all he likes. He just should do it at an appropriate volume that doesn't irritate others.

It was very detailed (would give any kid nightmares), loud and went on and on and on. It wasn't completely accurate either!

Maisy I agree. Some posters make everything black v white when the real argument is in shades of grey.

No one is saying that moms are not allowed to talk to their DCs on a bus or any public place -- no one. We are just advocating that everyone should talk in normal indoors voice, not PROJECTED VOICE, as OP said she was doing on the bus. It's just manners and consideration for others.

By all means he can talk with (to) his child about WW2 all he likes. He just should do it at an appropriate volume that doesn't irritate others.

As the descendant of those who left Germany to escape Nazi regime, I don't think that I detailed account of the Shoah is at all appropriate for 4 year olds.

It wasn't - I'm talking The World at War version unedited. I think he just started on a roll and couldn't edit himself. Very graphic about the camps, gas chambers, etc. Too much for a little kid.

I love the idea that we should all be talking in hushed tones so as not to annoy others.

That would really annoy me. Other people's conversations are my bus time entertainment!

Hushed tones? No, just turn down the foghorn, that's all!

I find it extremely rude and bad mannered when people listen to music without headphones/talk on the phone loudly/talk loudly and in funny voice with their kids/eat smelly food in confined public spaces. I think you should respect others and try to keep it down wherever possible.
So if its not fairly obvious your child has special needs, i too would be annoyed. Im too reserved to come up and say it to someone's face though. I can only imagine that it is extra difficult to travel by public transport with a child who has extra needs, so im not saying you should keep silent or watch peppa the whole time, but some level of adjustment to consider others should be possible.
I think we should all try to make an effort so the bus/train/plane journeys are reasonable for everyone. And then we can all go and do our own thing.

Hushed tones? No, just turn down the foghorn, that's all!
This ^^

It's always loud people who seem so bloody outraged when asked to quieten down to a reasonable volume and act like they're being made to do nothibg more than whisper (mainly because everyonr else understands how to not be a fog horn!)