To think friend is being very snobbish towards me?

[ACommonPerson]

My friend lives on a private housing estate. It started off 18 years ago as a few small new houses bordering the council estate but popularity rocketed and the estate became huge. Thousands of new homes built, massive homes with triple driveways, balconys etc . It became so big that the city boundary has been extended to fit it in and they got their own shops, a salon, beauty parlour, butchers and deli etc as well as their own health centre and primary school which again was so popular, it's had to be extended. They have their own neighbourhood committee and now refer to themselves as a village. The neighbourhood that it became is now the most affluent area in the city.

It still neighbours the council estate however and I live on the border (council estate side).

Anyway, looking for primary school for DS next year and I said to friend that I intend to get him in the "village" school if I can as it has an excellent reputation. She looked shocked and said "you can't!". I asked why and she said that the school is there to serve the village and is already over subscribed. I said I realised it was over subscribed but it's a comp school and therefore is not just there to serve certain houses! I'm going to try my luck and if he gets in, brilliant.

She was almost angry and said she doesn't agree with people from outside the "village" trying to get into the school as it's hard enough for the people within it. We went back and forth on it and then she came quite defensive and said "to be blunt, the school is good for a reason, and that's because it doesn't have to take in kids from the council estates. She justified this by saving "there is a reason you don't want to take your DS to your catchment school and I'm betting it's because you know it's full of council estate kids and will be rough as hell for that reason.

I became a bit upset and said my DS had just as much right to a good education as her kids. She softened up slightly and said she agreed with me and she hopes he does get in but part of the reason people pay the high prices for these houses is for the school and it doesn't seem justified that the school will become swamped with council estate kids so whilst she hopes my DS gets in, she hopes no other kids get in off the estate.

I'm fuming! Name changes as she'll probably recognise this but I don't care!! Snobbery or does she have a point? Should the rest of us suck it up with shit schools because we haven't paid to live on the private estate?

She lives on an estate. End of. Whether it's private or council it's still just an estate. Not a village or a hamlet, just an estate😂

People absolutely lose their heads over school admissions. All sorts of dishonesty and duplicity that can really shock and upset friendships. Just make well-informed, realistic choices on your application form, OP, and calmly carry on.

As for comments like this:
'Well, if I'd paid a massive house price premium to get my child into a school I liked, and then people who lived further away got priority over my child I'd be pretty pissed off.' It really is tough shit if trying to buy a school place in the state system backfires- I have absolutely no sympathy, Elsinore.

Jace, I suspect those (me included) who thought Buckshaw, have the same view of it as you do .

Sweet Lord, I've just looked at the house prices for that area on rightmove😀 Has your friend ever left Hull? We've got 3 houses for sale in our hamlet and all three are well above a million.
Can't stand people behaving like this towards others when at the end of the day they just live on top of each other on some estate in a £200k house with a mortgage. And she has the cheek to look down on the residents of the council estate.

Your child is just as important, as her child.

Pfft. She's sending her kid to a state school, she has no right to act like a snob towards anyone let alone to feel entitled to places at this school for herself and her neighbours when none of them are actually paying for it. V cheeky

Some people seem to be suggesting that the OP and her friend are equally snobbish for wanting to send their children to this school. Wanting to send her DC to the school is not what makes the friend a snob. It's her horror at the idea of children from lower income families going there as well and contaminating the place that makes her a snob.

I haven't read the full thread but ....... we lived on an estate like this will a popular school- a friend of mine works at he local secondary and said the kids from the estate school stick out like a sore thumb for being entitled badly behaved brats. The parents emphasise this with fancy cars and attitudes.

For what it's worth I would try and get my child into a small more personal school in a little village, (not a fake sudo village)

Good Luck

OJZJ. I appreciate this. As per outlined by rjgmummy. And this is as it should be. (Points 1&2).

I don't think I'd be rushing to get my child into this school now that I've read more (link posted above). All schools in the area are ofsted good apart from highlands primary, which is outstanding. The one on the estate (ie in the village) is yet to be rated.

Another one, who's googled the houses and wishes the prices in my genuine, real, actual village were this low!

I live on kingswood but was brought up on Bransholme - as was DH. We call it "south Beverley" for a laugh.

The kingswood Facebook group is hilarious, residents kicking off about everything from mud on the road to children hanging around the street looking suspicious. It's hilarious!

Oh and everytime there is anything untoward going on, it's "clearly" people from Bransholme causing it. Not our little darlings. We're all far too well-to-do for all that.

I thought buckshaw too and thought the snobbery ridiculous! I only go there occasionally softplayhellparties and the last few times have discussed with my husband how scruffy some of the properties and areas within buckshaw now look.

I don't quite get what you are all saying about catchment area? Where I live I was free to apply to any primary school in the local borough. In my home town there are about 5 primaries and people from my locality send their children to any one of them.

Your friend is a caaah, and sounds like a self-important, obnoxious snob. Tell her to stick her views up her arse.

Not far from me, there was an estate built in the mid 90s which is full of people who are very snooty about their little area. I'll call it Snobville. They are very close to a primary school which has always had a great reputation and been oversubscribed.

Once Snobville was established and grew rapidly, you basically couldn't get into the popular primary school unless you lived in Snobville.

But then about ten years ago a load of farmland right next to the school was sold off to a developer and has now been built up into a thriving new housing estate.

The folks in Snobsville are suddenly finding that they are having trouble getting their children into the popular school. Quite a few of them have had to send their children to other schools with kids who don't live in Snobsville. The horror!

It does sound like she is very protective of her "village" and doesn't want her illusions to be shattered - because if the "village school" is half full of kids from the council estate then it's not actually a village school or even a village, it's just a naice suburb.

I do have a friend who bought a house in a new development and, it's hard to explain, but rather than the house and development being just a place she lives, it has almost become part of her. It sounds like your friend is taken with "the village" and wants to carry on with her fantasy of a rural idyll.

notacooldad Completely agree with you there about Buckshaw Village snobby people most of them

Point out to your friend that Kingswood primary has just had a crap Ofsted report whereas Highlands Primary on North Bransholme (the council estate) consistently has very good Ofsted reports and send DC there instead! I love living on North Bransholme and I'm from Hedon originally and was met with so much snobbery I quit my job and found a much nicer one where nobody judges me because of my postcode.

Oi Poppypopcorn Hull is city of culture this year. Come and visit and surprise yourself.

Hull is great. I go there quite often. It has a brilliant atmosphere at the moment with the city of culture events going on. I went to the Ferens Art Gallery recently and it was absolutely brilliant. The volunteers really knew their stuff and clearly had a lot of pride in their city.

Bleeming heck. We move to St George Hill Weybridge, to be nearer DD's school and even people there are not that snobbish.
OP, luck favours those that try. Do your best for your kid. Good luck.

Do u know what!, just apply and see what happens, no point of getting upset about something that's not happened yet. If he gets in he gets in nothing your friend can do about it and good on you for wanting the best education for your child, if he does not get in does not mean that he can't do well in the other school!!

How you have written sounds that she was one of the ones moved into "the village" before it became more "super desirable"??? In which case she ain't no friend, she IS trying to be Hyacinth! Our group of pals had a friend who ditched the lot of us when she acquired a boyfriend who came from "a very good background" - she obvsly hid her council estate background from him - lived in a council house with parents but it didn't look council, how lucky for her. They did marry fairly soon after meeting, we all got invites to the wedding (suppose it'd be odd having NO friends at your own wedding!) but that was the last we saw of her (oh am busy with this, busy with that). That is a latent snobbery, not you wanting a nice school for your children.........

PS StickySweaty - I want to read Kingswood Facebook now - just for the craic!!!!!!

1. Drop your friend.
2. Get your DS into the best school you can.
3. However hard, keep smiling. I am sorry this woman was so awful to you.
4. Stay strong!