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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think friend is being very snobbish towards me?

217 replies

ACommonPerson · 16/09/2017 13:05

My friend lives on a private housing estate. It started off 18 years ago as a few small new houses bordering the council estate but popularity rocketed and the estate became huge. Thousands of new homes built, massive homes with triple driveways, balconys etc . It became so big that the city boundary has been extended to fit it in and they got their own shops, a salon, beauty parlour, butchers and deli etc as well as their own health centre and primary school which again was so popular, it's had to be extended. They have their own neighbourhood committee and now refer to themselves as a village. The neighbourhood that it became is now the most affluent area in the city.

It still neighbours the council estate however and I live on the border (council estate side).

Anyway, looking for primary school for DS next year and I said to friend that I intend to get him in the "village" school if I can as it has an excellent reputation. She looked shocked and said "you can't!". I asked why and she said that the school is there to serve the village and is already over subscribed. I said I realised it was over subscribed but it's a comp school and therefore is not just there to serve certain houses! I'm going to try my luck and if he gets in, brilliant.

She was almost angry and said she doesn't agree with people from outside the "village" trying to get into the school as it's hard enough for the people within it. We went back and forth on it and then she came quite defensive and said "to be blunt, the school is good for a reason, and that's because it doesn't have to take in kids from the council estates. She justified this by saving "there is a reason you don't want to take your DS to your catchment school and I'm betting it's because you know it's full of council estate kids and will be rough as hell for that reason.

I became a bit upset and said my DS had just as much right to a good education as her kids. She softened up slightly and said she agreed with me and she hopes he does get in but part of the reason people pay the high prices for these houses is for the school and it doesn't seem justified that the school will become swamped with council estate kids so whilst she hopes my DS gets in, she hopes no other kids get in off the estate.

I'm fuming! Name changes as she'll probably recognise this but I don't care!! Snobbery or does she have a point? Should the rest of us suck it up with shit schools because we haven't paid to live on the private estate?

OP posts:
alphajuliet123 · 16/09/2017 19:49

I've been racking my brains trying to think where I've heard of Kingswood. I looked on google earth and it seemed familiar, though I don't know anyone in Hull. Just realised it's where that missing lady, Renata, is from.

TatianaLarina · 16/09/2017 23:31

"You can't get above yourself if you're from Hull"

Bloke from BB.

ChasedByBees · 16/09/2017 23:53

I really hope you are in the catchment and are successful OP!

Ellisandra · 17/09/2017 08:22

OP, inverse snobbery is a thing.

Your Royal Bransholme dig shows you're just as judgemental as her.

And no, I don't live there.

LoniceraJaponica · 17/09/2017 08:42

Changing the subject a little - it irritates me when people call a suburb of a town a "village". It isn't a village it is a suburb.

I, on the other hand, live in a real village with fields and woods surrounding it, and no street lights on the main road once you are through the village. We have one shop and one pub.

HTH Grin

Headofthehive55 · 17/09/2017 08:50

It's only a good school because if the intake. I agree with unicorn

Idontevencareanymore · 17/09/2017 09:30

Gosh yes a bit snobby!

Id probably distance myself from her tbh. No one needs a friend who looks down on you solely due to your housing choice/circumstances.

The irony I find here is how does Your friend know ALL the houses are owned or lived in by the original purchasers?
We're a mix of HA, owned and lived in and owned and subletted to the council.
4 schools in walking distance and all well sought after.

RandomUsernameHere · 17/09/2017 10:22

Your friend is an idiot for suggesting you don't apply to the school. Anyone who gets a place there has just as much right to be there as anyone else (provided they have been truthful on the application form, obviously). It is not up to her to decide the admissions policy or catchment area. Good luck and I hope your DC gets a place. As for calling a new build housing estate a village, that's hilarious!

MrsHandles · 17/09/2017 10:32

My first thought was Kingswood near Bransholme in Hull. I'm delighted that I guessed correctly!

I used to live there when 'New Kingswood' was first being built and found it hilarious that people could be so snobby about it.

The school was tiny and should have always been much bigger. Apply. I really hope you get in Grin

By the way, some locals actually refer to it as Lower Dunswell in a completely unironic way!

TheFifthKey · 17/09/2017 16:23

Lower Dunswell is bloody hilarious!

TheFifthKey · 17/09/2017 16:24

I mean, it's practically Beverley if you're going to start that.

Figgygal · 17/09/2017 16:30

Wow isn't she a peach!!

So as long as she and hers are ok fuck everyone else. Maybe she should move to an actual village if she's going to have such pretences (note I live in a village we don't even have a shop and I couldn't give a shit who attends the school)

MrsHandles · 17/09/2017 16:35

I laughed out loud when someone described it to me as that.

I grew up just outside of Bilton. Or should I rename it as Nether Bilton?

JaceLancs · 17/09/2017 16:46

I'm fascinated by how many people speculated it was Buckshaw village - which is a place I view with horror - it always reminds me of toy town without a soul
That said I hate such snobbery - I live in a very middle class traditional village yet was made to feel like an outsider when exDH left for OW many years ago - I remained in the family home as a poor lone parent surviving partly on benefits due to my disabilities - one person even stopped her DD from being friends with my DD when she found out my situation (until a neighbour shamed her in public re this!)
I still live there but know who my true friends are and personally try to be as non-judgemental as possible

Lovingit81 · 17/09/2017 17:33

She's not a snob, she's a bitch. There's a difference.

falange · 17/09/2017 17:52

This reminds me of the bankers wife on Grand Designs who said Holland Park was like a Village. Hilarious.

rjgmummy · 17/09/2017 17:58

As a general rule this is the order for allocating school placements (Church schools may differ)

1, SEN -any child with a statement of SEN gets their first choice of school regardless of where they live as they will need the school that best accomodates their need physical, emotional or behavioral.
2, Looked after children (Fostered & Adopted) ditto number 1.

Children in these two categories have priority over anyone living in catchment.

3, Child in catchment area with a sibling already at the school and who will still be at school when child enters reception (ie year 5 or below)
4, Child in catchment without a sibling at school
5, Child out of catchment with a sibling at school
6, Child out of catchment without a sibling at school.

If there are 2 or more children equal on status then shortest walking distance to school applies, this must be a designated walking route ie just because you walk across a field doesn't make it a walking route. Or walking along a road without a pavement wouldn't be seen as a walking route even if it is regularly used and if a road needs to be crossed the walking route takes in pelican / puffin / zebra crossing it can not be crossed anywhere.

It's very emotive and as a School Governor for the FSU I have sat on dozens of appeal panels where parents have not got the one of their choices. Only one of which has ever been granted. It is true that a good school will attract higher price housing but also be aware that catchment areas can be changed by the council and they are legally obliged to give a years notice of this so I would not recommend to anyone to buy a house in the catchment of a good school purely in the hope that they will get in unless it is within a year.

HotelEuphoria · 17/09/2017 18:01

I know (and love) Hull. She needs to get a grip, seriously she can't behave like this, it's not Chelsea love.

smashyourglasses · 17/09/2017 18:02

I live in a beautiful village like this which also neighbors a shit hole so i can see her point completely Biscuit

OJZJ · 17/09/2017 18:04

Mummyoflittledragon. people living further away won't get priority to those living closer
Not strictly true. If you having siblings in the school already and move out of catchment Will be considered and I know LAC or ex LAC now adopted, under sgo/residency etc get priority over catchment, siblings, religious values etc.
Elisandra you would hate me because my child gets priority over people nearer and in the "catchment" due to being an ex lac child, admittedly he had to have prenatal brain damage due to being born addicted to alcohol and drugs and i was his 4th mother by the time he was one.... but it's a small price to pay to piss off a snob eh?Hmm i actually drive past 4 very nice schools to take my child to his school... which strangely enough is in a poorer area of town because of the amazing senco/inclusion officer who actually understood what FASD was, its in a secure school with strong family values...and it suits my son's needs and i would have put him in "the village" school if it met his needs with no problem whatsoever regardless of where I was living.

Paddi · 17/09/2017 18:06

Well she sounds like a cock womble

clarkl2 · 17/09/2017 18:18

If you are within the boundaries of the catchment area you child has as much right to attend as yours. Tell her she is a stuck up bitch.

falange · 17/09/2017 18:21

I've just had a look. It's just a big housing estate with very cheap houses. I can't see why your friend thinks she's a cut above anyone for living there. It's quite funny really.

PoppyPopcorn · 17/09/2017 18:23

I'm still boggled that anyone could think ANYWHERE in Hull was "posh".

pigsDOfly · 17/09/2017 18:30

Yes I googled it and was amazed at the cheapness of the houses.

If your friend thinks that she's paid a premium to be in the catchment area of a good school OP, she should try buying something in London that's in the catchment area of even the crappiest school.

Don't know what she thinks she's got to be so snobby about.