SDs dressing inappropriately

[Winosaurus]

I originally posted this on the step-parent board but posting here for traffic.

I know I'm going to get flamed for this but today this has reached a new peak.
My DP has to DDs 12 and 8, they dress so inappropriately I'm sometimes lost for words. They both are wear a full face of make-up and clothes that barely cover their bodies and I'm really struggling with this for several reasons.

1. People look at them constantly when we go out because of how revealing their clothes are and I'm worried it'll attract the wrong attention and potentially put them in danger - particularly as 12yo is getting older.
2. My DD7 now wants to copy them which is causing issues and uncomfortable conversations to come up as I obviously won't let her dress this way but I also don't want to be critical of SDs or their mother for allowing them to dress this way (she buys most of their clothes)
3. I honestly find it embarrassing. When we are out as a group/family people automatically assume I'm their mum and I've had women in particular make remarks about how they are dressed.

I've talked to DP about this and pointed out not only the inappropriateness of their overall looks but also how it could put them in danger. He agrees with me and will occasionally ask SD8 to remove her make-up but overall he doesn't seem to see how wrong it is. I am not being mean about the girls, they are lovely but it's getting to the point where it's making me uncomfortable to be on outings with them when they have their bottom cheeks hanging out of their shorts or transparent crop-tops on. How can I get my partner to see it objectively?

Clothes don't put you in danger.

They do when the 12yo is attracting the attention of much older boys which she then seeks to be friends with as they also see her we older.
I'm worried she's going to get into situations she isn't ready for

Clothes don't put you in danger.

This. 100 times this.

I know assaults etc have nothing to do with clothes.
I'm just concerned about how old they are allowed to dress for their age.
It seems a bit sad really. Why can't kids just be kids?

But they are attention grabbing, and maybe the OP doesn't want these girls to attract this kind of attraction just yet.

And full make up on an 8 year old is inappropriate IMO.

So the issue is her hanging out with rapists?

Winosaurus - what is it that you think the way they dress is putting them in danger from? What makes their clothing "inappropriate" in terms of what they are doing? - e.g. Are they wearing heels when on a walk in the countryside (inappropriate due to risk of broken ankle)?

"Clothes don't put you in danger.

This. 100 times this."

Times a thousand. It's very dangerous to think this way. I hope the kids haven't picked up on this way of thinking.

Full face of make up on an 8yo you say?

Never seen that before. Ever.

If you know that assaults have nothing to do with clothes what do you think they are in danger from then?

Yes, obviously clothes don't put you in danger!!

Has your DP broached it with his ex?

Can you enforce some simple rules now? Sp-

Lipgloss and mascara- yes
Foundation, blush, lip kits lippy etc no

Clothes
Nothing see through without an appropriate layer under like a sports bra top or little vest.
No visible private parts- bum cheeks eyx

So the issue is her hanging out with rapists?

WTAF? What's wrong with you?

Op, yes it's inappropriate attire at any age, and more so on children. Ignore the freaks who think eight year olds with their asses hanging out and full make up is good.

Can you have a word with the mother, if not you need to speak to your partner again. Safe guarding children is also making sure their attire cannot make them appear sexualised to others.

Ffs the responses are ridiculous. Of course the clothes themselves aren't putting the girls in danger but any responsible parent with an ounce of common sense knows that this kind of dressing is likely to attract all the wrong attention and increase the risk of them ending up in dangerous situations. Just because that is wrong, doesn't make it any less true and its parents responsibility to protect our kids. Your partner needs to step up and address the situation and I totally sympathise with how you feel.

'Safe guarding children is also making sure their attire cannot make them appear sexualised to others'

Total and utter nonsense.

Honestly when I say full on I mean foundation, mascara etc. Not just playing about with a bit of lipstick.
We can be all feminist about this but the truth is they're dressing over-sexualised for their age and it can cause problems for them

What problems Wino? That people will see them as slappers?

Clothes don't put you in danger

It would be nice if that were true but insisting it doesn't make it so, I don't think the posters doing so have actually quite understood.
Clothes that make a 12 year old look 16 do help to get her into situations that she is not old enough for.

If you weren't a stepmum you wouldn't be getting such stupid replies. No the girls shouldn't be dressing like that. They're children for gods sake.

If safeguarding includes making sure children don't 'appear sexualised' then all schools with uniforms are failing badly, given that school uniform often appears as sexualised costume.

Ok so the example today is SD12 has hotpants on which show almost the full cheeks of her bottom (like denim knickers) and a crop top which has little holes all the way through so you can see her bra.
8yr old has similar shorts (crease of bum cheek visible as she walks) and an off the shoulder top which is cut high at the stomach too.
Both have a full face of make up on including highlighter and quite dark lipsticks.
I just think it's far too much for such young kids.

Because it's inappropriate! An 8 year old wearing full makeup is ridiculous. Clothes don't cause assault, I agree, but having children sexualised does. I don't think YABU op, I would feel the way you do. These people are the first to shout about how much they hate peadophiles, it takes up most of Facebook, but never think about how they are producing Lolita's.

Total and utter nonsense

Anyone who goes on line and tries to convince a parent that an eight or 12 year old girl in highly revealing clothing and full make up is fine is someone I think most of us would wonder about what was sitting at the key board and typing and why they wish to encourage this.

existential that's my point exactly!
Teenage boys are giving her attention thinking she is their age and she's only just turned 12

'Clothes that make a 12 year old look 16 do help to get her into situations that she is not old enough for.'

The OP has said nothing about the 12 year old being unsupervised - how can clothes 'get her into situations'??

Anyway I don't think I'm BU in my views... I genuinely have their best interests at heart.
However I can't understand why my DP (or their mum) is ok with them dressing this way?