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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Tattoo

312 replies

2much2do2littletime2doit · 12/09/2017 14:50

So had my first hen do away just recently and all the hen had a tiny (old 50p) sized tattoo, on our feet. I already have a tattoo from 20+ years ago, my DH of 7 years is not keen on them, which I did know. However come home and he says he now wants a divorce. That using the excuse it's my body is a 'lefty' argument and he has the choice not to look at it, that he's now no longer attracted to me because of it. I will point out we normally get on very well, no issues apart from the normal petty things. I completely think he's over reacting.

OP posts:
CockacidalManiac · 12/09/2017 14:52

Let him go. He sounds like a proper twat anyway.

PointlessUsername · 12/09/2017 14:53

Seems a crazy overeaction?.

Shoxfordian · 12/09/2017 14:53

Wow. If he doesn't want to look at you then tell him there's no obligation to do so. He can move out.

CockacidalManiac · 12/09/2017 14:54
MrsTerryPratchett · 12/09/2017 14:54

He thinks he owns you. He doesn't.

I think it's a bit odd that all the hens had a tattoo as part of the hen but whatever, your choice.

Nomoresunshine · 12/09/2017 14:54

Tell him twatism isn't attractive either. .

MrsOverTheRoad · 12/09/2017 14:54

I'd be thinking he was having an affair and using this as an excuse to leave you!

Is that possible OP? That he's having an affair?

AfunaMbatata · 12/09/2017 14:54

Did some terrible tattoo related misdeed happen to him when younger or something? Confused

Polliver · 12/09/2017 14:54

What a ridiculous situation...what is 'lefty' about claiming that your body is your own? He is being controlling, op, and you need to point that out to him. Your body, your rules.

KC225 · 12/09/2017 14:56

I would feel the same way if DH got a tattoo. They make my stomach churn

SavoyCabbage · 12/09/2017 14:56

He is completely overreacting, you are not wrong! I'd just tell him that that's his decision, which it is.

Obviously stop sharing a bed, washing his socks, making his meals.

2much2do2littletime2doit · 12/09/2017 14:57

No I don't think he's having an affair. As I say we normally get on we'll. yes he is old fashioned in his ways, but also incredibly kind. He says I've disrespected his wishes by doing it and now he needs to consider his options...

OP posts:
strawberrygate · 12/09/2017 14:57

I guess if he changed appearance in a way you hated ( spider tattoo covering his face, huge beer gut for example) you may not find him attractive either. personally I would be very put off if my husband got a tattoo as I find them a little repulsive - I know, I know, but we all have our preferences;

KimmySchmidt1 · 12/09/2017 14:57

It does seem like an over-reaction but perhaps he sees tattoos as very bad taste and common, and it makes him worried you are not the person he hoped you were. Perhaps it also makes him feel as though you don't care what he thinks.

Personally I would think my husband was off his rocker if he got a tattoo on a stag do and would be pretty surprised. For some people tattoos are normal and funny and for others they signify something a lot more about someone's character - something perhaps he hoped you had grown out of.

It sounds like he is taking it as a symbol of your fundamental incompatibility. Do you come from very different backgrounds/religions/educational levels etc?

strawberrygate · 12/09/2017 14:58

especially as you knew he didn't like them

shakingmyhead1 · 12/09/2017 14:59

yell " YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME" and stomp off?

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 12/09/2017 14:59

He is either just a monumental twat or he's a monumental twat who is desperate for an excuse to leave you and still be able to 'blame' you. Either way, show him the door.

Ilovecoleslaw · 12/09/2017 15:00

That's a massive overreaction
Sounds like he's just using it as an excuse to divorce you, rather than it actually bothering him

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 12/09/2017 15:00

And in this case;
perhaps he sees tattoos as very bad taste and common, and it makes him worried you are not the person he hoped you were.
Still a monumental twat.

bigbluedustbin · 12/09/2017 15:00

I'd be going out today and getting a nice big visible tattoo somewhere noticeable if I was you! (Something I'd like, of course - if none I wanted then I'd get a nice big fake henna one). Just to show him how little of my body he owned.

His attitude is horrible. You're not his property.

strawberrygate · 12/09/2017 15:01

But if someone changes their body in a way which makes their partner just really really not fancy them / respect them, surely that doesn't make them a twat?

Polliver · 12/09/2017 15:02

I feel bad for saying this...but if he is able to say that he might want a divorce over an issue so small as a tiny tattoo, then maybe your relationship is not as solid and loving as you think it is. Sorry Sad

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/09/2017 15:03

It's a very small tattoo on her foot. I can't remember the last time I stared adoringly at DH's feet. Unless he has a foot fetish I suppose.

It's hardly the same as a facial tattoo. And she already has one, which means it's not the tattoo, it is her DEFYING him that is the issue. And that's controlling.

Polliver · 12/09/2017 15:03

@strawberrygate could you honestly stop loving someone because they now have a small picture of something on their foot?

wasonthelist · 12/09/2017 15:03

Was the Hen do in a Russian prison?