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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Tattoo

312 replies

2much2do2littletime2doit · 12/09/2017 14:50

So had my first hen do away just recently and all the hen had a tiny (old 50p) sized tattoo, on our feet. I already have a tattoo from 20+ years ago, my DH of 7 years is not keen on them, which I did know. However come home and he says he now wants a divorce. That using the excuse it's my body is a 'lefty' argument and he has the choice not to look at it, that he's now no longer attracted to me because of it. I will point out we normally get on very well, no issues apart from the normal petty things. I completely think he's over reacting.

OP posts:

PollyFlint · 12/09/2017 15:23

Also, he can't be that 'genuinely repulsed' by them given that the OP already had tattoos when she met him and he still married her.

MrsOverTheRoad · 12/09/2017 15:24

Exactly Polly!

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/09/2017 15:26

Yes, your body is your own, but when you marry someone you make a commitment to each other. A commitment. Not carte blanche to tell me what I am and am not allowed to do with a small area of skin on my foot. He presumably made a commitment to her as well.

My dad had to have a tattoo for his radiotherapy. Good job my mum isn't an arsehole.

VinsArmy · 12/09/2017 15:27

I don't understand you already had a tattoo on your foot and he married you. His dislike of tattoos obviously didn't bother him that much if he married you when you already have one. I really don't see how another small tattoo on foot would make a difference?

EamonnWright · 12/09/2017 15:27

Relationships need compromise and this is something he hates yet you disregarded what his thoughts by getting one.

Flip the situation and there would be howls of ditch the fucker for going against your wishes.

DiegoMadonna · 12/09/2017 15:29

Flip the situation and there would be howls of ditch the fucker for going against your wishes

Lol. Not from any rational person there wouldn't.

squoosh · 12/09/2017 15:30

'It wasn't a picture of a 50p'

Ah ok. I did think it was strange having a 50p tattooed on your foot! What was it of?

squoosh · 12/09/2017 15:31

Would someone fully in charge of their faculties really lose their shit over a small tattoo in a hidden away part of the body? Seems a bit hysterical.

I'm not a massive fan of tattoos but I'd just roll my eyes at this and make a 'baaaaa' noise.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/09/2017 15:33

I'm assuming HomeDadGos or whatever is a bloke. Are you EamonnWright? Because I'm slightly perturbed that the posters with recognizably male NNs on here seem to think marriage buys them control over even such a small area of their wife's body.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/09/2017 15:33

I'm not a massive fan of tattoos but I'd just roll my eyes at this and make a 'baaaaa' noise. This is an appropriate response

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 12/09/2017 15:34

I don't like many tattoos (so I don't have any) but the only one that would be a deal breaker would be something offensive like a swastica. Hibu.

EamonnWright · 12/09/2017 15:37

I'm assuming HomeDadGos or whatever is a bloke. Are you EamonnWright? Because I'm slightly perturbed that the posters with recognizably male NNs on here seem to think marriage buys them control over even such a small area of their wife's body.

Are you a moderator?

No one said they have a right over their body (What hysterical nonsense) just that the guy has a right to like or dislike tatoos as much as he wants.

It isn't about the tatoo though, it's the principle of the thing.

I won't look but I'll assume you where on the thread about a fella not having sex with his partner in her parents house?

It, like most others, telling her to ditch him due to lack of sex?

Now try flipping that one around...

VinsArmy · 12/09/2017 15:37

Your DH hates tattoos so much he is wants to divorce over a tiny one.

Your DH married you and you had a tattoo at the time.

Nope, still doesn't make sense to me.

VinsArmy · 12/09/2017 15:38

Your DH hates tattoos so much he is wants to divorce over a tiny one.

Your DH married you and you had a tattoo at the time.

Nope, still doesn't make sense to me.

Zaphodsotherhead · 12/09/2017 15:38

Just tell him you will never take your socks off again. Problem solved!

Actually though, I'd be more worried that you 'just expected a lecture.' If my OH tried to 'lecture' me on something I wanted to do to myself, he would very swiftly be an XOH.

AtHomeDadGlos · 12/09/2017 15:39

MrsT I am indeed a bloke. I don't feel like I have, or should have, control over my wife's body, but I'd be annoyed if she came home from a weekend away with a tattoo. She'd also be annoyed (probably more so) if I did the same.

I always think about and respect my wife's opinions and try to make decisions accordingly.

But go ahead and condescend.

NearLifeExperience · 12/09/2017 15:39

Let him go. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

I don't much like tattoos, but if my DH got a small one on his foot? Meh, so what, I love him anyway so it's not an issue. And it's his body. And I'm not a twat.

Can't believe the posters who think the DH is being reasonable and that this is a reasonable splitting up matter.
Is OP, (or any woman) supposed to run all her clothing, hairstyling, make up choices by her DH as well? Do everything to please him?

Fuck that.

What if someone becomes slightly disfigured in an accident and their OH is "genuinely repulsed" by how they look. Is it OK to split up then if genuine repulsion is reasonable cause?

EdmundCleverClogs · 12/09/2017 15:39

You expected a lecture? The way that reads, it wouldn't even be one in jest, more like a teacher putting a naughty student in detention. How awful, I suspect this isn't the first instance of using your marriage as blackmail, is it?

What would he do if your body was modified through an unfortunate accident? A burn, an illness that changes your body? I've recently developed vitiligo, would he divorce me? If he respected you, a small change to your body would never make a difference.

maras2 · 12/09/2017 15:40

I bet it's nothing to do with the tattoo.
He's just pissed off that you went away.
Did he have to do child care by any chance? Or make his own dinner?

Lucie8881 · 12/09/2017 15:40

It seems like a massive overreaction on his part.

I can understand someone not liking tattoos and be a little taken aback their partner had gone ahead and had a small tattoo on an inconspicuous area, as OP said, perhaps an exclamation along the lines of "you idiot!" ...... but to demand a divorce!

There is either bigger issues at play or he's not serious, surely??!

As for disregarding his feelings?? His feelings on YOUR body. It's not a drastic alteration, I wouldn't ask permission to make a decision regarding my own body and wouldn't expect my husband to either.

Picklemuncher · 12/09/2017 15:41

It's clearly not about whether or not OP's DH hates tattoos. It's about him not having control over her actions. FGS, it's a tiny tattoo on a foot, even if you HATE tattoos, it would not be a relationship deal breaker if the relationship was good. He's upset wifey didn't obey him.

dementedpixie · 12/09/2017 15:42

Meh, my dh doesn't really like tattoos but i got one because I do. I'd quite like another one now too.

Laiste · 12/09/2017 15:43

I'm not keen on tatoos on anyone. DH hates tatoos on women.

Neither of us would 'divorce' the other if they went out and got one.

There's obviously more to this than one 50p sized tatoo.

shirtyQwerty · 12/09/2017 15:43

He isn't controlling. He isn't telling OP not to have a tattoo; he's said he's leaving. It's relinquishing any form of control.

HTH

NearLifeExperience · 12/09/2017 15:43

Haha, great minds, Edmund

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