Tattoo

[2much2do2littletime2doit]

So had my first hen do away just recently and all the hen had a tiny (old 50p) sized tattoo, on our feet. I already have a tattoo from 20+ years ago, my DH of 7 years is not keen on them, which I did know. However come home and he says he now wants a divorce. That using the excuse it's my body is a 'lefty' argument and he has the choice not to look at it, that he's now no longer attracted to me because of it. I will point out we normally get on very well, no issues apart from the normal petty things. I completely think he's over reacting.

The reaction to small stains on the body by some (i.e. OPs OH and some PPs) is, at once, puzzling, surprising, sad, depressing and amusing.

But the attitude that your partner shouldn't do anything to their body that you don't like or you'll leave them, is merely sad and depressing.

No edmund not that everyone with a tattoo is a shallow twat; that someone who disregards her partner's opinions is a shallow twat

edmund I am repulsed by them in part because I have them. Three little dots. Tiny. They are a horrid reminder of the fact I am having cancer treatment.

I didn't say those who disliked tattoos were stupid; I said those who think that getting a tattoo is immature and shows a lack of foresight are, Strawberry

I have lots of tattoos full arms and I have a degree etc I am definitely not stupid! Loads of people have them I have even seen several doctors who have them! I agree with some other posts that there seems to be more to this. If I did something my dp didn't like on that sort of level he would just say I was daft not finish with me!!!!

I'm a 48 year old perimenopausal mother of 5, so I can hardly be accused of immaturity.

I would love to be immature again, actually!

My partner would, I think, have preferred me not to pierce my nose. He'd definitely like me to start dyeing my hair again.

I look terrific with the nose stud and the silver streaks. My body, my choice indeed.

that someone who disregards her partner's opinions is a shallow twat
Both partners are disregarding the other's opinions here. Why is she the shallow one?

Still wondering what tattoo you all had. Also imagining you all lining up to get them. Was it a planned part of the hen do?! It's not on your foot, or is it?

Sorry he's having legal advice because this surely firstly needs discussion, possibly counselling, if he's serious. He is overreacting but must have been already feeling doubts about your relationship to do so. Sad.

Phew, OP.
You've had a lucky escape.
Fuck him off.

Headofthehive55 I'm very sorry you had cancer, but that is nothing to do with how others modify their bodies or you judgment of them. What you have constitutes a medical change to your body, it doesn't excuse telling others they can't decorate their bodies because it tenuously reminds you of being ill.

that someone who disregards her partner's opinions is a shallow twat

In that vein, anyone who tries to demand their partner doesn't deliberately change their body is a 'shallow twat'. More than that actually. No one has the right to put sanctions on their loved ones' bodies, that's awful behaviour.

He obviously loved you for your body and not you if a tattoo that small on your foot can put him off

Haven't rtft but..

It's on your foot, for fucks sake. Not your forehead. I doubt my DH even notices my feet!

Unless he's a foot fetishist or something?

No edmund not that everyone with a tattoo is a shallow twat; that someone who disregards her partner's opinions is a shallow twat

But what if her partner's opinion was he didn't like her wearing make up? Or he didn't like her greying hair and wanted her to keep dying it?

Why shouldn't she disregard his opinion?

I have mixed feelings about tattoos. I like seeing colourful full arm tats on women as they always look quite pretty but don't like tats on men. I don't like random tats at all, it has to be a full piece of art. If my DH got any tats I'd be quite disappointed as most tats look quite chavvy. He absolutely detests them especially on women. I think he'd be quite upset if I got one.

He absolutely detests them especially on women. I think he'd be quite upset if I got one.

And his misogynistic views didn't have you running for the hills

edmund
Others can modify their bodies if they like - but I don't have to look at or be near it! That is quite honestly my right to do so. It doesn't make me shallow, or otherwise.
You have no idea how psychologically it affects you "tenuously" really?

I think what brand says is true. You can't determine how someone reacts to you.

You may feel it's wrong to react that way, but ultimately you can't control it.

I'm really sorry OP, you must be really upset.
I don't like tattoos and so would prefer my DH not to get one but never in a millions years would I give up my marriage over it. There must be more going on here. Does he think you ignore his wishes in other ways?

When I met my DH I had blond hair which he prefers, I've gone back to brown fur various reasons and it's not an issue. In a marriage you get to express a preference but you don't get to control the other person.

Headofthehive55 I honestly think if tattoos have that deep a psychological effect on you, perhaps you need some counselling or similar. Again I'm sorry for your illness, but you are not the only one who has permanent marks from trauma/illness. Even suggesting that you would lose love, respect and threaten divorce for someone choosing to change their body isn't healthy behaviour. That is up to the one with the issue to change their controlling or anxious behaviour.

How did he cope with the one you already had when he married you?

Blimey. I know DH loathes tattoos and I sort of want one but his hatred for them gives me an excuse to chicken out, but if I had one, I know he would shrug and say it's me that has to live with it. Your DH sounds a bit melodramatic to me OP.

get a tattoo of an old pound note across your back but instead of the Queen have a portrait of your DH but with 'TWAT' across his forehead.

That'll show 'im.