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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not discuss my period with my dh

213 replies

Imabanana · 10/09/2017 11:41

Just that, been married 21 years but I like to keep it to myself. Partly because I don't want him to know the details and partly because I'd hate to be accused of being hormonal if he knew it was that time of the month for me. I have 3 daughters and it's never brought up. It's not a secret or shameful, I'll ask them if they need pads etc it's just not mentioned as part of conversation. I have a feeling that this is unusual. I wondered if any other families are the same?

OP posts:
Sallystyle · 11/09/2017 13:53

BTW a pad in knickers on the floor does not result in the actual blood touching the floor. Not that id give much of a shit if it did because it washes.

Huffletuff · 11/09/2017 13:54

I don't have a bin in my upstairs bathroom

Nor me. There is no room for one because of wheelchair access.

Taking it off and smearing it all over the bathroom floor would be gross but leaving it contained within some material for a few minutes I really don't see as a problem.

Italiangreyhound · 11/09/2017 18:26

Crumbs1 may I ask if your daughters periods got better, please? Dd (12) is struggling. Thanks

BhajiAllTheWay · 11/09/2017 18:57

I'm pretty ill with mine so he can tell without me saying anything usually. But I can talk about it to him and he's amazingly sympathetic, cleans the house, makes hot drinks...and no digs ever about being hormonalSmile

Crumbs1 · 11/09/2017 20:54

Italiangreyhound two got better on the pill (from 14) but still needed codeine and naproxen for a couple of days. The pill just meant only having a period every 3/4 months and could be timed to avoid exams etc.
One got quite a lot better by the time she was 19/20 so university became more tolerable than school but was still needing analgesia.She didn't really like the pill but her periods were really irregular and infrequent anyway.
The youngest is more comfortable now she has the implant but is getting lots of breakthrough bleeding and has no control over it. She still,takes Naproxen and curls up for at least a day with hot water bottles but it isn't as bad as it was. There are times I've thought she'd developed a ruptured ovarian cyst it was so painful and she looked so ill. That rarely happens now. Only niggle I have is around endometriosis as it's in the family.

StickThatInYourPipe · 11/09/2017 21:22

My husband knows all the gory details too. He buys me pads, washes my knickers, if I kick off my pants to go in the shower to deal with after, he'll peel my pad off, wrap and bin it

I'm really sorry but what the actual f is that about? I don't understand the mentality of leaving a dirty pad on the floor. If someone else picked it up and sorted it out for me I would be mortified

StickThatInYourPipe · 11/09/2017 21:27

My husband knows all the gory details too. He buys me pads, washes my knickers, if I kick off my pants to go in the shower to deal with after, he'll peel my pad off, wrap and bin it

I'm really sorry but what the actual f is that about? I don't understand the mentality of leaving a dirty pad on the floor. If someone else picked it up and sorted it out for me I would be mortified

Very very sorry, I have read further on and realised this is due to having a disability, I apologise

Graphista · 11/09/2017 21:35

Crumbs1 it's endo I have PLEASE encourage your daughters not to simply use hormones to mask symptoms. I wouldn't wish what I went through on anyone.

Crumbs1 · 11/09/2017 21:56

Graphista, they were all taken to GP and I know how awful endometriosis can be (SIL had hysterectomy at 29) but all are adults so I have to let them manage it their own way. They are aware of their aunts history and have it in mind but all think mthey are coping OK. Poor you - my SIL was so unwell for so long, it was horrible. For her it was the anaemia and constant bleeding which the girls don't have (and never did). Their issue has always been pain, nausea, fainting.

Graphista · 12/09/2017 00:59

Different symptoms can have the same cause and there's strong evidence it's genetic (I've 2 aunts with it). Treating the symptoms seems fine at the time I get that but fertility and obstetric issues can be worse to deal with when older.

AudacityJones · 12/09/2017 01:11

Nothing unreasonable about it - but I think perhaps it's a generational thing? (Only picking up on that since you said you've been married for several decades).

My mum is always hush hush about her period and my sister and I would rarely mention periods when at home in front of my dad etc.

But among my friends people often just say they're feeling tired today because they're on their period etc - and DH always knows about my period (also partly because of a few years of trying to conceive etc) and he's seen my poo in labour so not sure there's much that's off limits really.

Italiangreyhound · 12/09/2017 01:21

Crumbs thanks, hope they are both OK.

DD gets pain and sick but my sister has endo and 'early' menopause runs in our family so my poor dd is in for a rough ride.

Thanks
MsPavlichenko · 12/09/2017 02:08

I am 52. First bled at12. Only now approaching menopause (like my late DM) . My Dad used to get me Feminax when I asked. My DM was less understanding as she had not suffered as I had with heavy bleeding/cramps. She did realise as time went on.

My XH, and my partner. Why would I not tell them as and when I am menstruating, and all the other stuff that ensues (for me). No big deal, nothing to hide. My 20 yr old DD the same. She is relaxed too. She will say I am bleeding, I am fed up whatever. No issue. No great topic of conversation. Just a thing that is happening, and may be worth considering,

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