To not discuss my period with my dh

[Imabanana]

Just that, been married 21 years but I like to keep it to myself. Partly because I don't want him to know the details and partly because I'd hate to be accused of being hormonal if he knew it was that time of the month for me. I have 3 daughters and it's never brought up. It's not a secret or shameful, I'll ask them if they need pads etc it's just not mentioned as part of conversation. I have a feeling that this is unusual. I wondered if any other families are the same?

I don't expect him to. I don't ask him to.

I'm also disabled, so bending is difficult. I have a grabby tool, but DH sometimes gets there first. And yes, I drop things a lot, not that I've ever mentioned dropping things. My disabilities ensure my grip is terrible.

Am I the only woman who learnt about periods by watching Carrie?

Of course I am just kidding, I don't see the need to talk about it too much but we are ttc so my partner does know the full ins and outs of my cycle lol. I HATE discussing it with anyone else though it makes me feel grim. The same way I don't like talking about poo tbh

My DH gets a monthly announcement plus quite a lot of gross detail.

If only I had the option, open door policy in this bloody house, wee's, poo's the lot... also he went through pregnancy with me so we had a lot of mucus conversations- I found this hilarious, he went a little green but soldiered on. 😂😂😂

No but it's private. I wouldn't want anyone to dispose of my used sanitary products...you wouldn't leave used toilet roll on the bathroom floor and expect someone else to dispose of it for you?

Exactly.

Shitty loo roll, used tissues, used sanitary products, old dental floss- the disposal of these things are the responsibility of the user

I'm also disabled, so bending is difficult. I have a grabby tool, but DH sometimes gets there first. And yes, I drop things a lot, not that I've ever mentioned dropping things. My disabilities ensure my grip is terrible

That is completely understandable.

Why can't you,put your pad in the bin when you take your knickers off to get in the shower though. That's gross leaving them in the floor

Because when I get out of my wheelchair, I can't take my knickers off and pick them up without assistance so I let them drop. It's not gross. The pad is inside my knickers. It doesn't touch the floor, and even if it did, it's laminate so will mop.

If the bathroom door is shut, someone is in there. Besides, I don't dry in the bathroom because DH helps me, so it's done in the bedroom.

With the not wanting to be accused of being hormonal - either you will be in which case any halfway observant family member will have noticed the cyclical nature of your moods,or you aren't,in which case it's all good.
And if you live with someone who would attribute your behaviour to your hormones they will be doing that anyway,regardless of what is actually going on with you

dearmr
I'm the complete opposite, dp gets regular updates on how heavy/light my flow is

Conversation in your house sounds gripping.
Do you also share updates of bowel motions?
" dearmr, had a great two tone jobbie this morning, took a while to get going but came out with a nice neat tapered finish, took two wipes to get clean"

I mighy sometimes mention a spectacular bowel movement yes 😁

We also discuss poo. I didn't realise it was quite so shocking to some. DH will often announce a "ghost poo" or a 2lb'er. We also marvel at consistency and colour. Looking at your poo is quite useful for knowing where your bowel health is at. Also, if you do an unusual one, why not share with someone who would find it just as funny?

Do you also share updates of bowel motions?

I do sometimes. I have IBS. I might mention if I've been struggling to go to the toilet or if I've been going too much.

Same for discussing my flow with him. I might tell him my period is so heavy ive soaked through a tampon in ten minutes.

We also have many interesting conversations. We are clever like that. We can talk about mundane stuff and more interesting stuff. I didn't realise it was one or the other!

God no i have never discussed my periods with my husband
Not even something that ever entered my head
Especially as i'm on my third coil and i don't get any bleeding

I love a two tone poo. Fascinating. Also good are the ones that are like joined up pebbles at one end, then a normal smooth finish at the other. Like an even distribution between constipation and normal. Fabulous.

We also marvel at consistency and colour.

Clearly I have a gap in my life.

I'm no prude (and I was a nurse) but unless it was an emergency eg. run out of tampons, I never discussed/discuss body functions with DH. Surely some things need to be kept private?

You do. Try eating a fuck tonne of beetroot and see what happens.

I've got some friends who feel the need to constantly update on their bowel movements. I don't get it? Why does anyone think I'd be interested in the colour of your poo or how big or stinky it was?? I'm not in the least bit prudish, I just find it a bit odd.

Shock horror! We also talk about our piles if they are really bad. And he knows all about my IBS and wind issues!

Some things don't need to be kept private. You can if you want. But there's no need for others to do the same if they prefer to be more open about bodily functions.

DP has been supporting me through investigations for cervical cancer recently which is quite upsetting since I'm only 28. I've had a number of procedures and have been bleeding heavily for 3 weeks due to a laser procedure removing cells from my uterus.

I'm very pleased I have been open about my periods with him over the last five years as I'm having to spend a lot of time talking to him about my bleeding and cervical recovery. I couldn't have done this alone. Just remember that when you don't share - one day you may have health problems there and if you marry a man you can't talk about that with you'll feel very alone.

DD and I have only discussed bowel movements as far as yes, we both get a little constipated in the run up to periods, and we can find things very soft afterwards. That's it.

Unfortunately, with DS we all know when he's been, as more often than not he'll block the toilet....... I bought disposable gloves. He gets the fun of unblocking the loo as the brush isn't up to the job (and it's the 2nd one, as he destroyed the first one with the first dump in this house). I've had to modify his diet to try and get him to go more often, he's always had issues.

Surely some things need to be kept private?

If you want them to be, definitely. It's up to you, isn't it? If you don't mind, then that's fine too.

Random thoughts on this thread: -

There seem to be some posters who think that this topic is one of extremes - either you keep periods covert or you announcement them via a light aircraft with accompanying banner.

I chat with my OH about periods "I'll be on next time I'm at yours, can you grab some tampons" etc etc or "god I feel rough, can you pass me the anadin"

I also don't really get the sneering at how other people's partnership works. The "coversation sounds gripping" type comments are just a bit pathetic really aren't they?

@Scribblegirl

Hope you're doing as ok as possible