Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Apparently I'm the laughing stock of the school

247 replies

MavisFrench · 09/09/2017 19:05

Last year I threw a Halloween party for DD (10 at the time). I did spooky snacks and drinks, had pumpkins to carve and games. It was fancy dress themed and DH and I dressed up too. I was a witch (naturally) and DH was a vampire. DH can be rather theatrical so he had a little smoke machine set up near the front door so that when people arrived he could answer it clouded in smoke and play out his vampire role. He stayed in character throughout the night and the kids seemed to have a good time.

This year I suggested doing the same thing. DD was mortified and said no chance as she was bullied for weeks after the first one!!! I asked why and she said it was DH's "vampire thing" which everyone (including parents!) laughed about and took the piss out of for weeks. So yesterday I asked one of the parents I'm friendly with what the problem was with the first party. She looked uncomfortable and said a few of the parents were laughing about us being "try hards" and one of the dads (chavvy type) said DH was obviously a "peado"!!!

I'm gutted because I put a lot of effort and money into that and had no idea the feedback was so bad, not to mention the piss taking and bullying.

AIBU to take it to the head a year later?

OP posts:
MiniAlphaBravo · 09/09/2017 19:06

I think you'd make things worse by dragging it all up again after a year.

EezerGoode · 09/09/2017 19:06

No..let it go...ungrateful bunch

Anecdoche · 09/09/2017 19:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SlugKiller · 09/09/2017 19:07

Is this an episode of Modern Family? Are you married to Phil Dunphy?? Grin

Foxtrot92 · 09/09/2017 19:07

Yes YABU

Gorgosparta · 09/09/2017 19:07

Either the people who attended were twats and then their children picked up on those feelings.

Or you and your dh did go over the top and acted inappropriately.

I cant see what taking it to the head now will do.

pombal · 09/09/2017 19:08

Seriously wtf is wrong with people.
You made a fun party for a group of 10 year olds and that's the thanks you get.

Just forget it and don't bother again.

PotteringAlong · 09/09/2017 19:08

AIBU to take it to the head a year later?

Yes. In fact, you'd be unreasonable to take it to the head a week later. What do you expect them to do?!

LadyWithLapdog · 09/09/2017 19:08

Horrible fuckers. Ignore them and don't entertain their children if they had such an "awful" time. I'm enraged on your behalf.

Ollycat · 09/09/2017 19:08

I would let it go - nasty people obv not your friends. Also it's not a school matter so don't know why you'd talk to the head?

Original poster
MavisFrench · 09/09/2017 19:09

Because the bullying afterwards took place at school

OP posts:
Strictly1 · 09/09/2017 19:09

Was the party at your house. If so, why would the Head become involved?

Strictly1 · 09/09/2017 19:09

Sorry crossed posts

NYConcreteJungle · 09/09/2017 19:09

Jealousy can cause these things. They probably felt inadequate when their children told them how great you were. I would have had a mild giggle at the smoke & vampire thing, though with no at, laugh.

Chottie · 09/09/2017 19:10

I would let it go too. Please don't drag everything up again for your daughter's sake. The fact that she didn't tell you about the bullying when it happened speaks volumes to me.....

reetgood · 09/09/2017 19:10

Don't take it to the head. I was going to say kids can be extremely conservative (my parents were weird for not having a tv, apparently). However the parents have no excuse. Fortunately they've just outed themselves as not worthy of future Halloween party invites! Don't do the vampire again because dd has asked you not to, but just choose a more discerning crowd for your efforts xx

I think it sounds fun, but there's a reason I'm picky about friends and parties as an adult. I realised theres always a miserable sod, but then I don't rate the opinions of miserable sods.

Peanutbuttercheese · 09/09/2017 19:10

We used to have huge Halloween parties and dressed up, fortunately I didn't ever invite people that were arseholes.

I would just talk to my child about what happened and ask why they didn't feel they could say anything at the time.

BiscayTrafalgarFitzroy · 09/09/2017 19:10

What on Earth has it got to do with the Head? Of course YABU. Do you really think the best use of a Head Teacher's time is to sort out things like this? Do you think they would call you all into their office and give them a telling off? How ridiculous.

Gorgosparta · 09/09/2017 19:11

But it was a year ago.

Does your child want this dragging up again?

user327854831 · 09/09/2017 19:11

Ignore them, miserable bunch of dullards.

Silverthorn · 09/09/2017 19:11

That peado comment is fucking awful. Bunch of ungrateful **s. Just stick to parties for your friends.
I'd guess the kids are too sophisticated for halloween parties now.

LadyintheRadiator · 09/09/2017 19:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BiscayTrafalgarFitzroy · 09/09/2017 19:11

But of course, if you're dd is still being bullied then that's a different story

Anecdoche · 09/09/2017 19:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuperStormborn · 09/09/2017 19:12

Don't let them know that they've bothered you - they'll love it to be brought up a year later. Let it go, OP - they're just ungrateful gits.