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AIBU?

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Original poster

Apparently I'm the laughing stock of the school

247 replies

MavisFrench · 09/09/2017 19:05

Last year I threw a Halloween party for DD (10 at the time). I did spooky snacks and drinks, had pumpkins to carve and games. It was fancy dress themed and DH and I dressed up too. I was a witch (naturally) and DH was a vampire. DH can be rather theatrical so he had a little smoke machine set up near the front door so that when people arrived he could answer it clouded in smoke and play out his vampire role. He stayed in character throughout the night and the kids seemed to have a good time.

This year I suggested doing the same thing. DD was mortified and said no chance as she was bullied for weeks after the first one!!! I asked why and she said it was DH's "vampire thing" which everyone (including parents!) laughed about and took the piss out of for weeks. So yesterday I asked one of the parents I'm friendly with what the problem was with the first party. She looked uncomfortable and said a few of the parents were laughing about us being "try hards" and one of the dads (chavvy type) said DH was obviously a "peado"!!!

I'm gutted because I put a lot of effort and money into that and had no idea the feedback was so bad, not to mention the piss taking and bullying.

AIBU to take it to the head a year later?

OP posts:
Subtlecheese · 09/09/2017 19:26

It's only those who can't be arsed / have no ability that bitch and laugh about anyone putting an effort in. It is exactly the attitude from school of complaining at the child who 'dares' to put in effort and take pride in their work. Basically these are adults stuck in a developmental stage of not understanding the rewards and personal pride in effort.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 09/09/2017 19:27

It was only a few parents making childish remarks about your party so don't feel you're a laughing stock. I'm sure a lot of parents thought it was great fun. It sounds like a brilliant party. And any gossip about it is long forgotten by now.

The "Paedo" comment was really inappropriate. That's a serious insult even said in a jovial way. Not funny at all. He sounds like a prat.

mummmy2017 · 09/09/2017 19:27

Oh yes, sounds like jealousy to me. they say you were laughed at, would that be by all the people not invited, or who don't have the imagination to pull of a proper fancy dress.

One of my DD's friends 15 years ago used to give parties like you , and people who weren't invited always bad mouthed her, we who went had one heck of a good time...

But as your DD said not this year, fine an adult one you can attend instead

HidingBehindTheWallpaper · 09/09/2017 19:27

It says far more about the parents that one would call DH a peado than anything else.

Ignore and don't take it to the head whatever you do.

HolyMerlot · 09/09/2017 19:29

I know this comment provides no advice whatsoever but I just wanted to say that I absolutely love Halloween and your party sounds amazing!! GrinI would have loved it and I'm 24! We always had get togethers on Halloween when I was growing up and everyone would dress up; my dad makes a wicked Hannibal Lecter and my mum was terrifying as the evil queen/witch from Snow White!

Underthemoonlight · 09/09/2017 19:29

My DS attended a Halloween party last year their front door was a giant mouth and his friends parents dressed up. He absolutely loved it. Could it simply be an age thing DS was 8 at the time. I think 10 is an awkward age transitioning from primary school going forth to secondary school.

seven201 · 09/09/2017 19:31

I think you've missed the boat for speaking to the head about the bullying. And was it actual bullying or just a bit of teasing? I know there's a fine line between the two but you don't want to be making it worse for your dd. I think it sounds like a great party btw xx

CleopatraCatLover · 09/09/2017 19:31

Miserable, rude buggers! Don't take it head of year though, it's in the past.

NYConcreteJungle · 09/09/2017 19:31

I can imagine "Peado" comment Dad, he yells come on son during sports day if he turns up at all

harvester77 · 09/09/2017 19:32

There are so many ungrateful horrible fools these days it's no wonder we are very picky about who we do things with. What a horrible thing to say. However don't bring it up again and hard as it is move on. You are better than them.

Jaxhog · 09/09/2017 19:35

They are SO jealous that your DH entered into the spirit of things! You wait, in 2 or 3 years time, he will be a legend.

But your DD is really embarrassed about it. I suspect the 'bullying' was 'teasing'.

Jaxhog · 09/09/2017 19:36

So I'd give someone else a turn this year.

PinkHeart5913 · 09/09/2017 19:37

Your party sounds fab to me! 🎃 🎃🎃

The other parents at your school sounds lovely Confused taking the piss for weeks becuase you got in to costume and had fun at a Halloween party , it's hardly try hard!

As for the "peado" comment I really do wonder what the hell is wrong with some people to make them say such things. You need to be a huge prick to make such a remark.

Of course it's wrong your dd suffered with bullying becuase of this but I would only mention the bullying to the school if it was still going on now as it was a year ago and I'm not sure what they could do now really.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 09/09/2017 19:37

No wonder so many children are bullies. What can we expect when we have adult bullies, and mocking people whether it be behind your back or to your face, is bullying

I bet the cheeky fucking laughing gas cunts still eat the food you provided didn't they

sandgrown · 09/09/2017 19:39

Your party sounds fab ignore the miserable jealous parents. Don't bring it up.now though

EyesUnderARock · 09/09/2017 19:39

I'd be more bothered about the fact that your daughter felt she was being bullied at school and didn't talk to an adult about it, that the school and parents didn't notice. Focus on that not happening in the future, not in your embarrassment that some of the parents at school are arses.

LIZS · 09/09/2017 19:42

Has she not changed schools since? Why would you bother reviving it a year later, it will just perpetuate the problem.

StaplesCorner · 09/09/2017 19:42

So kids from primary school? That is awful, so sad. DH and I used to crack this out every year, but we also did themed birthday parties like murder mystery etc., we had cast of family and friends all dressed up scripted it the lot. I am so sorry you had this experience OP, your poor dd. Fuck the lot of them, take the kids DD really likes to pizza hut or something instead.

MrsJamesAspey · 09/09/2017 19:43

The party sounds fab, I've been to a few like that where people make the effort and had s great time.

If I heard a dad from school call another dad a peado because he'd dressed up as a vampire at Halloween, I'd have bigger concerns about the dad who said it than the vampire dad Hmm

Maybe just take DC to somewhere like Thorpe park fright night instead this year and leave all the miserable piss takers to do nothing !!!!

PetalHead · 09/09/2017 19:44

OMG what horrible people OP. FWIW round here halloween is a lot of fun and several local households go a bit OTT. People opening the door in full costume, with smoke machines and screaming and bell-gonging sound effects. It's funny, friendly and much appreciated by the kids. Your party sounds fun and I bet you anything those who were there did enjoy it.

I don't think you can do much now, except don't entertain the moaners again and don't do it again. It's a shame but just go with your DD's preferences now she's getting older.

rainbowpie · 09/09/2017 19:45

Your party sounds brilliant and you did something really fun for a group of ungrateful arseholes. I'd be gutted if I were you. The paedo comment is disgusting. I agree with pps - don't bring it up and don't do anything more for those people.

grecian100 · 09/09/2017 19:45

Going to the Head to say what, OP? YABU.

The smoke machine sounds cool but parents who "are a tad theatrical" can come across as try-hards and annoying. The paedo label is ridiculous but you calling him a chav isn't pleasant either.

guilty100 · 09/09/2017 19:48

They sound like a bunch of awful killjoys. I think it sounds super-fun and I would have loved an invite.

Some people have no sense of humour. Don't let it ruin your way of doing things!

nakedscientist · 09/09/2017 19:49

Your party sounds just like ours! What a bunch of idiots! Invite your FRIENDS and carry on being your own individual, lovely selves.

Holidayhooray · 09/09/2017 19:49

Unmistakeable British.

You tried hard. In the US, it would have gone down a storm. In this country, there's an element of disdain, humour and bafflement.

I feel for you OP, but I'm not surprised by the reaction. On the one hand it's why I love this country, on the other hand it makes me a bit sad because the likes of you (who pull out all the stops for an event like Halloween) are made to feel pants.