Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should i make her a cake?

181 replies

Tatiannatomasina · 31/08/2017 14:49

I work as a chef and whenever it is a special occasion or birthday for one of my collegues i bake them a cake. I only do this for the kitchen staff and managers as we are a close knit team and spend alot of time together. I never do it for front of house waitressing staff as they tend to come and go and we dont spend much time with them, i dont really know any of them. I pay for everything out of my own pocket and do it all in my own time because i enjoy it and it makes my collegues happy.
One waitress shares a birthday with one of the managers who i like very much and consider a friend. The waitress knowing i make cakes for birthdays told me she wanted a 3 tier cake for her birthday.i was a bit 😯 as no one has ever expected me to do it, i just like surprising them. I really wanted to make a cake for my manager but not this waitress. She has been told by another member of staff i dont do it for front of house staff and has approached me this evening telling me she is very disappointed with me. It was said in a serious way. I was shocked by her attitude and jokingly said maybe the manager will cut hers in half and share it with you. I actually wish i had said something alot stronger.
She has really taken the shine off something that i loved doing. When ever i make a cake we share it with everyone at work so she has always been given a piece. I now feel uncomfortable and dont know if i should just stop doing this or aibu just making a cake for my manager?

OP posts:
Ameliablue · 31/08/2017 14:51

No I wouldn't make her a cake. Carry on as you have been doing.

cookielove · 31/08/2017 14:51

Shock wtf?

PinkHeart5911 · 31/08/2017 14:52

The waitress TOLD you she wanted a 3 tier cake Shock cheeky! Based on that alone no I wouldn't pay out of my own pocket to make her a cake.

NotAUserNumberSoNotATroll · 31/08/2017 14:52

Cheeky cow! Make it for your manager only, if she says anything say you assumed her 3 tier request was obviously a joke and as she knows you don't make cakes for people outside your team why does she think she'd get special treatment

MiniAlphaBravo · 31/08/2017 14:53

I think she's been quite rude so of just make one for the manager or you will have to do it for all front of house and it could get v pricey and time consuming. I'd just breezily wish her happy birthday & pretend the cake conversation hadn't happened!

TakeMe2Insanity · 31/08/2017 14:53

Nope. Stick to your format. Certainly don't make her a cake. Alternatively sit down discuss what she would like and then tell her the cost.

blueskyinmarch · 31/08/2017 14:55

I too would pretend that I thought she said she wanted. 3 tier cake as a joke and carry on as you did before. If the manager wants to share her cake then that is up to her.

MrsOverTheRoad · 31/08/2017 14:57

Well I am going against the grain.

You've been making cakes for SOME of the staff but not ALL of the staff.

That's a bit weird and exclusive.

You say it's because you like doing it...so don't you think some of those waitresses might feel a bit shit about being left out?

Would you really have presented the manager with a cake and ignored the fact that another member of staff celebrated on the same day?

Weird and mean imo!

Why are you paying for these cakes anyway? That also seems a bit ott.

tiggytape · 31/08/2017 14:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tatiannatomasina · 31/08/2017 14:57

To make it more awkward they will both be working the day of their birthday so she will see my manangers cake. And it would be at least a 3 tier one 😟

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 31/08/2017 14:58

Read the thread. She's explained why.

pasturesgreen · 31/08/2017 14:58

No way would I bake a cake for the cheeky fucker!

ImperialBlether · 31/08/2017 14:59

They are your team. You don't have to make one for everyone in the whole company, ffs!

LagunaBubbles · 31/08/2017 15:01

No way on earth would I bake her one, cheeky bint! Unless of course she pays you, and I reckon a 3 tier cake with decorations is at least £150, or would be where I am.

SilverySurfer · 31/08/2017 15:02

I would make her a 3 tier cake out of normal sized cupcakes Grin

Piratesandpants · 31/08/2017 15:06

Op, you sound like a really lovely colleague and the type of person that makes a workplace a great place to work. She was incredibly rude and seems to lack understanding of social etiquette. Just carry on with your plans.

HepKestrel · 31/08/2017 15:08

you beat me too it SilverySurfer !

Donttouchthethings · 31/08/2017 15:09

I'm just imagining what it might be like for someone coming into work on her birthday and then being excluded from another colleague's birthday celebrations. Not nice.

tiggytape · 31/08/2017 15:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tatiannatomasina · 31/08/2017 15:12

Mrsovertheroad, this is something i am wrestling with, am i being exclusive? Its a small family run business and we all get together and sing happy birthday and the boss makes a speech. We have only ever done this for permanent members of staff, never the wait staff. I really dont know if i am unreasonable. If she hadnt asked i would have made her a cake as it would have been awful to ignore her. The sense of entitlement has just made me so cross. My kitchen collegues are all living thousands of miles away from their families and i just wanted to mark their birthdays and a bit of cake always cheers everyone up.

OP posts:
Anecdoche · 31/08/2017 15:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ppeatfruit · 31/08/2017 15:16

I would have a chat with the manager and see what she says, it does seem strange not to do it for the front of house staff. Do they do it for all of you?

When I took in cakes for my birthday I would usually pay for them, we all used to.

Goingtobeawesome · 31/08/2017 15:16

If you make a cake for this waitress you'll be rewarding her entitlement and rudeness.

FuckYouLinda · 31/08/2017 15:19

Tell her you don't take cake orders.

You sometimes surprise your friends on your team with something lovely of your choosing because they are friends.

otterlynutty · 31/08/2017 15:19

"You've been making cakes for SOME of the staff but not ALL of the staff.

That's a bit weird and exclusive."

Where I work if people bring in cakes/do baking it's for their department only, unless it was something like the Macmillan coffee morning.
Same if we do birthday cards/collections.

Swipe left for the next trending thread